I've always studied by myself. I have gone to teachers, read books by many, and agree with them. But I can not put my faith in those people to know what is best for me. So I have merely studied as much as I can from many buddhist teachers. I hear there are such things as solitary tantric practitioners, I don't recall the word. They are generally highly regarded, if they are in fact sincere. Are they like ascetics? I am considering the life of an ascetic.
For most ordinary people, solitary practice is impossible. It is very, very hard (i.e. requires thousands of fortuitous rebirths behind you) to be in a position to study on one's own. The vast majority of people will misunderstand aspects (or all!) of the teaching, and fall into foolishness and navel-gazing. The best thing you can do is to get a good teocher! Failing that, be a good person and hope for a good rebirth next time round.
Why? Supposedly Buddha left his wife to find truth. When he came back years later his wife asked him, "Could you have found 'it' even if you were with me?" When he answered "Yes" his wife said, "Then why did you leave?"
why? because I feel that it is the right thing to do. I've always had dreams about being a monk or holy person since I was little.
