the beat of my drum sings songs unsung

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by TomDijon, Apr 19, 2005.

  1. TomDijon

    TomDijon Member

    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    5
    the beat of my drum
    sings songs unsung
    like the beat of silence
    as it turns it's other cheek
    as the unseen counterpart
    juxtaposes in reflection,
    I am like like a tree
    I reach out for inspiration from the stars
    for new energy
    I reach out
    creating intricate openings
    so I can breathe
    sapping these human's unwanted gas
    so they can breathe
    I stand still
    with patience I will finish my task
    but I move too slow for them
    they cut off what gets in their way
    and though I'm rooted in death and shit
    what better place for growth?
    what better juxtaposition for my visible half,
    rooted in air and light?
    what better way to appreciate and understand freedom
    then to have a foundation that's down to earth?
    the beat of my drum
    sings songs unsung
    the tune of your ears
    as they listen for truth
    the sounds from your mouth
    as you look for proof
    some men should remain animals
    for they would never care enough
    to be conscious of their consciousness
    failing to appreciate the gift
    their mirrors are shattered
    sending light refractions in all the wrong places
    only sometimes illuminating broken truths
    the mind's eye
    is the spectacle of the brain
    a spectacle with an infinitely changing prescription
    it has the power of choice
    it has the power of focus
    and even broken mirrors have whole pieces
    you just have to adjust your focus
    and read between the lines
    the beat of my drum
    sings songs unsung
     
  2. TomDijon

    TomDijon Member

    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    5
    no criticism? if you read it, you should at least give some criticism
     
  3. browneydgrl

    browneydgrl Member

    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    1
    its a bit scattered and so i am having trouble pulling out one clear theme. but i like the first four lines very much.
     
  4. StoneyCrustyBabe

    StoneyCrustyBabe Member

    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    This poem is really earthy. I think its really good, just a little editing and it would be phenomenal.
     
  5. TomDijon

    TomDijon Member

    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    5
    i can't think of any way to edit this... i'd forgotten i'd even wrote this. it WAS done out of no where just for you guys, and so may seem a bit scattered, but "you just have to adjust your focus
    and read between the lines"... you may see my train of thought
    BUT if you guys have some more specific criticism, like how you think a part's scattered or suggestions for editting it, i'd love to hear it
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice