Seven Bartenders were asked if they could identify personality on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The Results: IF WOMEN DRINK: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low maintenance, down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy and a pain in the arse. Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy Drink: Mixed drinks – no umbrellas. Personality: Mature, has picky taste, knows what she wants Approach: If she wants you, she will send YOU a drink. Drink: Wine – (bottled not 4 litre cask) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation. Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff Ice, Vodka Mule etc. Personality: Easy thinks she is trendy and sophisticated, actually has absolutely no clue. Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is… and you’re in. Drink: Baileys Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart. Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub. Drink: Shots (Vodka, Aftershock etc) Personality: Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk … and naked. Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait. IF MEN DRINK – As always, very simple and clear cut. Cider: He is probably under-aged and wants to get laid. Cheap Domestic Beer: He is poor/student and wants to get laid. Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid. Bitter: He is old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid. Imported Beer: He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid. Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another. Wine: He is hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image AND help him get laid. Vodka/Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid. Port: Thinks he is sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid. Whisky: He does not give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid. Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc) to weasel himself into getting laid. Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid. Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff Ice, Vodka Mule etc: HE IS GAY!
That's total bullshit because I indulge in beer, mixed drinks without umbrellas, wine, & plenty of shots. I'm always drinking something different.
Aw hell... I am a Guiness drinker who loves single malt scotch whiskey, good Tequila (easy to get in Texas), and I didn't see Gin on the list...but it has an open invitation to my tongue. I guess this is the point where I am supposed to get all bowed up and say its all baloney anyway...LOL
