The Imaginary World Of Chubbs Bimbaugh

Under the seat of my car in a plastic bag is the manuscript of a book inspired by the morid and perverse corruption overwhelming the AM radio airwaves.

The twisted and uneven handwritten notes are the end result of a scientific research study of the association between one Chubbs Bimbaugh (born in a Missouri pig sty) and Dr Lumard Ludmerding Phd who resides in the Cucumber mountain region of Tennessee.

Several days ago while my car was being searched for contraband by two of Kentuckys finest the ripped and stained papers were uncovered and scutinized for a good twenty minutes while I remained handcuffed in the back seat of the cruiser.

As one of the two police officers made a peculiar call to persons unknown (possibly the CIA) I noticed he voiced an undefined concern in an unfamiliar tongue (possibly hillbilly pig latin) in order to deny me knowledge of the content of their conversation.

"Well boy I hope you like Boloni sandwiches causin' we takin' you in for further questions."

 

It was during my incarceration I began work on a short story idea entited "It Started With Stinky" (A Luv Story).

Please keep in mind for the purpose of continuence that this first encounter with the law took place back in '91 and since that time I have been keeping the bastards at bay with occasional insults directed towards their wives and mothers. There is not a day that passes when I do not make crude comments in the dead of night regarding the infected nature of their vagina's.

The rank oriface from which the beast offspring emerged is in no way consided off limits when describing my total contempt for their perverse and wicked ways of attempting to eliminate the desire to express freely half formed thoughts and ideas pertaining to the betterment of lower class white trash society.

 

While incarcerated the imagined sexual image of "Stinky" remained my foremost maturbatory fantasy resulting in strange formations of stains resembling the Virgin Mary on the wall next to my cot.

The result was an influx of jailed pilgrims exchanging food products such as 8 ounce containers of skimmed milk for the chance to glance at the message from above which was in reality nothing more than acculated jailhouse ejaculate on the cement wall.

 

After six weeks of consuming an overwhelming amount of the prepackaged skimmed milk product and lack of sunshine my flesh began to take on a pale white tone commonly associated with locked away psychotics deep within the depths of cell block K, (A place reserved for unconventional type 7 personalities).

The stain on the wall began growing a strange fuzzy fungus causing quite a stir amongst the inmates and leading all to believe that it was not the sainted Virgin after all but perhaps an image of the Christ himself.

The pilgrimage continued equaling the steady flow of drifters, degenerates and petty criminals to the toilet in the corner to shit and piss until the day when the walls were painted with fresh gray paint.

 

The sudden blast of hot late summer sun tore through my eyes and entered the brain like a satellite based laser directed at my skull by sinister covert government researchers on the tax payers pay roll.

It was a day like none other when I walked "freely" from the confines of illegal incarceration perpertrated by violators of free will.

The AM car radio broadcasted it's usual propaganda rebroadcasting the same broadcasts time and again well into the night and into the next day. Governmnent controlled media in all it's vile bloated and malicious form continued feeding into the minds of those ignorant enough not to read between the words their corrupt intent directed at dominance of the weaker souls amongst the populace.

 

wtf

 

Well I dunno if that story had a purpose. Nonetheless, you are damn good at writing (comedy especially).

 

The perverse degenerate bastard Bimbaugh continued his campaign of propaganda fooling no one other than those utilizing the AM radio on Ford pick up trucks.

The more refined amongst the populace were recieving their information through the transmissions of MSNB Squeeze and Headline Cooze although a warning should be noted that those who believe the squeeze are as foolish as those who follow the lead of the soon to be bound over fat man from Missouri.

 

As the brain began to slowly and naturally cool itself as a form of hybernation so as not to go into to self destrutive overload I began a period of television viewing in order to enhance the numbing process.

Twelve straight hours of CNN while keeping detailed notes of facial expression,demeanor and voice patterns of the tits and ass on screen resulted in a bland reduction of brain activity with sudden realization of possibly long term damage.

I drew the Russian made 9mm semi automatic from between the cushions of the easy chair and discharged an entire 8 round clip directly into the television screen then snapped back into my normal everyday routine before real damage had been done to my ability to reason and function in a productive way benificial and in accordance to scientific advancement.