Be With Me as One interlace me with your brilliance cover me with your skin show me your godly flesh and place it within shower me with your moisture satisfy my sweet tooth smile at me brightly so I can recapture my youth counteract my motions move with me in time render me breathless I’m giving you what’s mine sink in this oblivion inhale my smoky soul never leave me yearning forever make me whole
Nice. But since i believe in constructive criticism, i would say to change the line about the sweet tooth, because it weakens the romantic force and makes it silly. That's all i would say! Aside from that, its brilliant! Well done.