Ugh this is just a rant...but uh YES...remind me to never tell the truth to my parents again...they always just get REALLY mad at me. I mean today i just wanted to tell the truth for ONCE...and they get ALL MAD. Because what happen was i had my lisence in my wallet in my purse..and one day my wallet JUST wasnt in my purse..but that was like a month ago, and i didnt tell them cuz i knew they would get mad. but then i heard that if u want to replace yer lisence u have to have yer parents signature and crap so i just decided to tell them today....and they got all mad and starting yelling at me. man , this sucks....i really wish i could tell them the truth...but i cant. i can never trust them with the truth anymore...thats sad. and a few weeks ago i was gonna go 2 this place where local bands play with my friend melissa..and they also got all mad because they didnt want me to go there because they think the ONLY reason why i would go there is to 'pick up guys'..wich is not even true. and now they won't let me hang out with melissa because they think shes 'bad' that she asked me to go to a 'place like that' . fuck. im like 17 and they won't let me spend the night at anyones house, have a boyfriend or stay out later than like 9-10 at the latest, and if i stay out till 10, they are like calling me asking me when im going to be home. and they think im a total slut! and yes they found out a lied to them in the past..because sometimes i would say im going to a friends but then i go to my boyfriends...but i mean if i told them the truth, they would of gotten mad. but whatever, ill be 18 in a few months....so i guess i can handle this shit for 3 more months. hell, ive been taking it since i was 13-14. *sigh* fuck. theyre always saying things like 'oh we dont think yer responsible enough' but i seriously dont even fucking care to 'prove' anything to them anymore. i used to try to 'be' responsible but i figured im NEVER going to be resposnible enough for them so screw it but it makes me sooo depressed....
I think you either need to have a serious calm talk with your parents. If they dont listen. Then get in thier face and yell to get your point across. All their doing is what they think is best for you. You just have to let them know that thier being overprotective and unreasonable.
If you're 17 and don't stand up for yourself soon they will try to push you this way for the rest of your life. But try to be calm and reasonable about it.
that's what i've decided is best, now i just leave my house at random times without telling them, it pisses them off but oh how it brings me joy.
Honestly, I don't understand why you are pissed about the license thing... I'm assuming you had it stolen or something. I'd be pissed too if my kid was driving without a license and I'd be the one picking up the ticket for it. As far as them telling you who to hang out with and such... why does it even matter to you? My mom never approved of my friends and I made it fine. If she had something to say about them, I'd just tell her that I can hang out with whoever I want, and if she want's a different kind of friend that's fine, but these are mine, and so on. As far as a boyfriend, don't worry, you aren't missing too too much.
when I read these threads it makes me love my mom sooo much! cause she's so chill....but then I feel bad because I really have no advice
aw yer lucky smerfish....well no im not driving without a lisence....i just use it to as an ID to cash my checks because i have no car now. one time i did write this long MATURE and nice leter to them letting them know i wudnt lie to them anymore if they would understand and i told them i know they want the best for me but i really would like it if they would trust me on making my own decisions. but again, they got all mad at me. i like poured my fucking heart out in the letter and cried to them but they just got mad at me. i read the letter to them in a calm way...and i never blamed ANYTHING on them in the letter. so waterdreamer...what happens when u get home after u leave at a random time without telling them? my dad says if i ever 'lie' to him again, hes going to not let me out at all and make me quit my job. however, i lie to him all the time...but only because i want to hang out with certain people (like guys...even GUY FRIENDS but they wont let me have those either) or go to a certain place. OH and one time i couldnt go somwhere with my friend and i was so mad...i was dressed and everything, and when they told me no i went bak in my room. and i figured my trash needed to be dumped, so i tied up my trash bag and walked it over to the door..and my parents were like WHERE ARE U GOING?!!!!!!!! WERE U PLANNING TO JUST TAKE OFF?!!!!!!! but i was only going to put the trash by the door........
I've been on both sides of this fence, my mom was not reality based when it came to raising a teen. She did ok while me and my much younger sibs were little, but her parenting skills fell apart as we hit puberty. I watched it as an adult when it happened to my sisters as well as my own first hand experiences. All I can say is they do what they do outta love and probably fear. The media feeds the fears 'rents have. Y'all didn't come with a book of instructions so as parents we try our best with what skills we have learned along the way. The fact that you been busted on lieing makes matters even worse, cause now they will always wonder whats the truth and what isn't.If my kids lied to me, I'd rip off their arm and beat 'em with the wet end, but they have little reason to lie to me. And then theres the shouting...I'm sure you are so even tempered...that you never get a shitty tone of voice...or a shitty look...that you do nothing at all to instigate it. Add that and the frustration level, anger, and the fact that they have probably said the same old shit a million times....you end up with shouting. Could it be handled better? I'm sure it could. Actually I would be annoyed but not shout if yah lost yer licence, but if yah did and I found out you been driving around without it for a month, I would do something more than shout, lol, you would wish that was what I was doing, I would probably not sign the paper for a month as well and you could walk or arrange rides. After all, hehe, if I had to wait to find out for a month, you could wait for me to fix it for the same amount of time. Thas why my kids just come to me though, I may get annoyed, shout occationally but the consequences can be worse.
lololol...thats all yah got outta that. *snickers huugely*My point was I would make the punishmant fit the crime. But I think I'm getting a better picture. ~pfft~ why shout when you can duct tape 'em.
...or get a crappy or pissy tone of voice or roll yer eyes and act annoyed when they are trying to talk to you.... I'm not saying they are right but you would be suprised I bet by the attitude you are putting out too. My daughter didn't realize she had a shitty tone, just talked like that in general almost all the time during any conversation. It wasn't what she said but how she was saying it. Until I started mocking her during any conversation, like whats for dinner or something. It was funny and then she finally realized that she had a tone when she was talking to me. It used to grate on me till I realized she had no clue and so we made it into a j/k Body language is subtle too, but gets picked up on as well.
Man, that sucks. Whenever you talk to your parents use I statements instead of You statements. I don't think your parents should get that mad for something as simple as losing your drivers liscence. You should have told them the minute you realized it was gone though. My parents are never like that to me. I don't have a life though. So it doesn't matter really. My mothers biggest concern with me is what I am eating. Damn, I hate it. Parents, dads especially, are way more concerned about their daughters than their sons because of the numbers of rapes and things happening today. I don't really think it was the media that made your parents crazy worrying about you. I think it was their own experiences seeing their friends get raped and lives go down the drain.
C'est la vie... I generally find their thinking for me reasonable, but generally, it flips around and they kind of get used to you not being independent and rasing you and then they become dependent on trying to do their best raising you without thinking about what they're doing and being focused on what you're doing...
well my mom feels bad for me because she works nights and when shes not here my dad gets drunk and takes out all his anger on me. and my dad doesn't really say that much anymore because he's an asshole father and i told him many times that although it was biological he wasn't my real father. my parents don't really like my guy friends either but they've learned to deal with it...break out on your own, i've learned that if you keep on letting them up like that they're just going to get more crazy
As long as you don't yell at your parents and let them speak their peace I think you can get somewhere. I myself am 16 and screwed up the boyfriend thing aftering having one call up drunk all the time in the middle of the night, me sneaking out with friends, and getting the virginity lost. Lost my hanging out priveleges after doing the drug and skipping thing. Lost my cellphone rights after getting it taken away by the school till June 10. Am I dead yet? NO! I have hobbies and my parents go out of their way to drive me places and cut me slack. My dad trusts me on letting me go anywhere basically... Thinks I'm innocently browsing around in the mall when in reality I'm jamming out with these 20 year old hippies. Everything I've ever done out of my selfish way has been behind their back. What a rotten way to live life. I think you need to cut your parent's slack. You lost your liscense so you can't drive or get a new one. So sad! Now you can walk and get some exercise. It isn't the end of the world. Yeah, your parents won't let you go to a concert. Use CDs. Sometimes they do know whats best for you. I guarentee it. This is what makes adulthood so luxurious. Burn all the freedoms now and you'll be gone in 5 years. Respect the rents. They do alot for you. If you need to regain their trust take up some sort of hobby. Show them good grades. Give them good reason to give you some slack. Do some chores. Whatever works. Lifes a bitch.
um, it seems like they probably want good things for you... but are not doing a good job of helping you see that --- or of having you feel like you are making progress to being a trusted adult... tell them how it feels when they yell at you -- and that they are pushing you away with how they are acting and it is damaging your relationship. they are obviously scared that you will get hurt or somthing... ask them what has them freaked out and talk to them about it. someone is going to have to be the mature one in the relationship and it sounds like it may need to be you right now... otherwise your relationship could go down hill. i promise you that neither you or they want that . it sucks. trust me...
