Christian Persecution in America

TrippinBTM · Apr 29, 2005

How sad for the Christians (There's many more at the website)

http://www.infidels.org/misc/humor/lioaca.html

<H1>Life In Our Anti-Christian America

I'm certainly glad this has finally been brought out into the open. The anti-Christian bias in our society has reached absurd proportions. Consider:

During the 1988 election campaign, George Bush said that Christians should not be considered patriots or real American citizens.

Bill Clinton steadfastly refuses to give any speeches at local churches.

Both major political parties are dominated by anti-Christians. The Republican party, for example, gave us such hard-core atheists as Pat Buchanan, Dan Quayle, Phyllis Schlafly and Ronald Reagan. And the Democrats have given us such personalities as the Rev. Martin Luther King and the Rev. Jesse Jackson-- both noted for their vicious attacks on all forms of Christianity.

Let's talk about the media. On Sunday mornings, nearly all major television channels broadcast pro-atheist shows; it is nearly impossible to find religious programming during that time period. Further, Madalyn Murray O'Hair has her own cable TV channel, while Pat Robertson has been unable to obtain one for himself.

Most major newspapers run a special weekly section devoted to atheism. There are no equivalent sections for religious news.

Anti-Christian shows such as the American Atheist Forum are broadcast by major national networks. Meanwhile, Billy Graham is only able to get on the air through public access TV, which is watched by few people.

On news programs and "reality" TV shows such as Rescue 911, nobody is ever shown giving thanks to God after surviving a disaster.

It is almost impossible to find a shopping mall with a Christian Armory book store, while Atheist Book Centers are featured prominently on every corner.

While atheists couples who marry rarely have any difficulty finding a place to do so, it is nearly impossible for Christian couples to find a church where they can marry.

For that matter, churches themselves are extremely rare, while atheist meeting centers can be found every few blocks.

Recently, several atheists have shot and killed Christian priests as they were going to work in their churches. Similarly, atheists are well known for blockading churches on Sunday mornings.

Nearly all of our elected public officials are atheists; they even have to swear on a copy of Darwin's "Origin of Species" in order to take office.

In a similar vein, jurors must take an oath upon a copy of the Skeptical Inquirer before they can serve. There have even been court cases thrown out because one of the jury members was a Christian who insisted on swearing on a Bible.

And of course, people are free to wear pentagram jewelry, but those trying to wear cross-shaped earrings or pendants to work will be politely told to remove the jewelry or lose their job.

Speaking of the workplace, Christians often find it nearly impossible to get time off work for religious holidays such as Christmas.

Even our language reflects the radical anti-Christian bias that pervades our society. For example, when somebody sneezes, most people say "Darwin bless you". Similarly, "Voltaire dammit!" is a common cussword.

All of our money has the atheistic slogan "We do not trust in God" printed on it. (Contributed by Mike Hurben, <hurben@lamar.ColoState.EDU>.)

In school, our children are made to recite the pledge, "One nation, anti-God, indivisible...." (Contributed by Mike Hurben.)

One cannot rent a hotel room without finding a copy of Nietzsche's The Anti-Christ in the room. (Contributed by Mike Hurben.)

Organizations such as the Boy Scouts deny membership to Christians. (Contributed by Mike Hurben.)

In the military, it is nearly impossible to obtain Conscientious Objector status for religious reasons, even though those with philosophical reasons can obtain C.O. status relatively easily. (Contributed anonymously.)

Christian churches are forced to pay exorbitant taxes. (Contributed by Rick Gillespie, <rwg@abbyroad.fc.hp.com>.)

You can't drive anywhere without seeing a Darwin fish or a "Jesus Was A Fraud" bumper sticker stuck to a car. (Contributed by Rick Gillespie.)

Georgia recently passed a new law requiring schools to have a "moment of noise" during which children are encouraged to degrade Christianity. (Contributed by Rick Gillespie.)

College campuses usually have dozens of atheist organizations, but few if any for Christians. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom, <maanstro@iastate.edu>.)

There are several well-known atheist campus preachers who lecture on college campuses on the virtues of atheism. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.)

Also common on college campuses are groups of students handing out copies of Betrand Russell's "Why I Am Not A Christian"; some even force people who don't want these books to take them. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.)

Campus newspapers often print editorials extolling the virtues of atheism. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.)

People look at you funny and wonder if there's something wrong upstairs if you admit to being a Christian in public. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.)

Many Christians are afraid to admit their Christianity to their parents and friends, for fear their kin will consider them immoral Christian scum and want nothing to do with them. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.)

At presidential inauguration ceremonies, Madalyn Murray-O'Hair (that well-known friend of several presidents) gives a short pro-atheism speech. (Contributed by Matt Barry, <mbarry@u.washington.edu>.)

For decades, high school and college commencement ceremonies have included brief speeches at the beginning and end of the ceremony in which atheism is praised and Christians deemed irrational. Christians who object to the practice, or who ask for an opening prayer instead, are regarded as cranks at best and subversives at worst. (Contributed by Matt Barry.)

Not only do commencement ceremonies feature pro-atheist speeches, there's usually an entire two-hour ceremony the day before graduation dedicated to upholding the atheist foundation of our educational system. (Contributed by Jed Hartman, <logos@cathay.esd.sgi.com>.)

"There are no Christians in foxholes" is a popular slogan in our society.

Most hospitals are full of atheist symbols, and many prominently feature statues of Nietszche, Darwin, and so forth. (Contributed by Bill Pursell, <pursell@mathfs.math.montana.edu>).

Communities set up atheist brainwashing facilities, and apply social pressure to citizens to report to these facilities every Sunday morning. Furthermore, attendees are expected to contribute money to support these facilities, and to build others through "outreach" programs. (Contributed by "me", <silly@blend.ugcs.caltech.edu>.)

Most parents in America indoctrinate their children at an early age to be atheists by forcing them to attend these brainwashing sessions, whether they want to or not. (Contributed by "me".)

While atheists hold huge rallies in 25,000-seat amphitheatres, Christians are so few in number that they can only dream of holding such rallies. (Contributed by Payton Chung, <pchung@unity.ncsu.edu>.)

At baseball games, you can often spot people carrying signs that read "Origin Of Species, page 34".

Hospital waiting rooms usually come equipped with children's copies of Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History Of Time", complete with order forms so that parents can send off for their own copy. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

Atheist magazines such as "Atheism Today", "Today's Atheist Woman", "Atheist Homeschooler", "The Atheist Century", "Atheist Ministry", "The Atheist Archeological Review", "Atheist Parenting Today" and "The Atheist Science Monitor" are featured prominently in newsstands across the country. (Contributed by Payton Chung. Additional magazine names contributed by Dave Chapman, <chapman@ims.com>.)

The Fellowship of Atheist Athletes has local chapters on college campuses throughout America. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

According to recent Gallup polls, approximately 86% of Americans do not believe in God. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

Politicians often refer to America's "Agnosto-Atheist heritage" when trying to woo voters. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

Atheists are beginning to subvert the American political process. For example, the American Atheists recently published over thirty million voter's guides for distribution at atheist meeting-houses. These guides gave specific instructions note to vote for those who oppose atheist values. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

It's easy to buy checks with quotes from Thomas Paine, but almost impossible to buy checks with Bible verses on them. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

Businesses often refuse to admit that they are Christian owned and operated, for fear of being boycotted by their atheist customers. Meanwhile, atheist-owned businesses often feature Darwin-fish logos in their ads. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

There are large networks of atheistic private schools in America, while it's nearly impossible to find a private Catholic school. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

It's difficult to find people with good Christian names like John or Paul or Christopher. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

Most gravestones in America are engraved with pentagrams; those few graves which are engraved with crosses usually end up being vandalized. (Contributed by Payton Chung.)

Atheists have often invented "deathbed deconversion" stories about famous Christians, claiming they became atheists just before they died.

Around the time of Darwin's birthday, Christians have to put up with songs about Darwin, which are played in shopping malls, restaurants, and even public restrooms. (Contributed by Dave Chapman, <chapman@ims.com>.)

We number our calendar years according to the number of years that have passed since Darwin's brithday. (Hence the term "A.D"-- "After Darwin".) (Contributed by Jeff Lowder, <jlowder@infidels.org>.)

Christian gatherings and funerals are often disrupted by atheists shouting slurs and holding signs that read, "Nature hates Christians." (Contributed by David Gellman, <dgellman@coho.halcyon.com>.)

Books which promote Christianity are often removed from library shelves in response to atheist pressure groups. (Contributed by David Gellman.)

A popular bumper sticker reads, "No Jesus, Know Peace. Know Jesus, No Peace." (Contributed by Stephanie Anderson, <ska@gas.uug.arizona.edu>.)

Insurance companies refer to natural disasters as "Acts of Darwin". (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein, <dentar@infinet.net>.)

Forms for job applications, government aid and so forth often ask what type of atheist you are, with checkboxes for "atheist", "agnostic", "humanist" and so forth. If you are a Christian, the only thing you can do is check the "other" box-- if one is provided. (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein.)

Sports teams often read from the Humanist Manifesto prior to the game, in the hopes that doing so will increase their chances of winning. (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein.)

Atheists constantly threaten television and movies producers with boycotts whenever they portray Christianity in a positive light. (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein.)

Atheists often hold bonfires at atheist meeting centers, where Christian literature can be thrown into the fire. (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein.)

Gambling is freely legalized for secular purposes, yet churches have to have their bingo halls in Las Vegas, Atlantic City or on Indian reservations. (Contributed by Clive Feckus, <yfcprod@localnet.com>.)

Baseball games and the like have "The Star-Spangled Banner" sung by hard-rock groups bellowing out lyrics such as, "Foolish god-crazed slaves (whip crack)/At the altar of Rock and Roll you'll kneel!" and the singers will encourage any Christians in the stands to get eaten by lions held ready on the playing field. (Contributed by Tatiana Covington, <tatiana@gas.uug.arizona.edu>.)

New military officers are expected to say "God does not exist" at the end of their commissioning oath. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.)

It easy to support atheistic charities like, "Atheist Children's Fund", "Agnostics Against AIDS", etc., but virtually impossible to support important causes through *Christian* organizations. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.)

Well-known atheists like Michael Martin and Quentin Smith have set up ministries to witness to Christians, but it is virtually impossible to find Christians who specialize in debating atheists. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.)

Congress starts each session with selected excerpts from Michael Martin's Atheism: A Philosophical Justification. Each house of Congress also has its own "Atheist Chaplain". No Christian prayers are ever made in Congress and no Christian chaplains are available. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.)

The word "Christian" is recognized as a term which represents the worst of human attributes: cynicism, pessimism, selfishness, and moral turpitude. The word "Atheist," on the other hand, is used to signify all that is virtuous, as in, "That's mighty Atheist of you!" (Contributed by Chad Docterman, <DOCTERM1@MARSHALL.EDU>.)

On sitcoms and movies of the week, the parents make references to how their lack of faith in God helps them get through life's troubles. Meanwhile, Christians are protrayed as pathetic folks who end up converting to atheism. (Contributed by Tara Powers, <tap@cs.umb.edu>.)

Many American cities are named after noted atheist figures; for example, there is Corpus Darwini, Texas and San Voltaire, California. (Contributed by Scott Bigham, dsb@cs.duke.edu.)

Click to expand...

Soulless||Chaos · Apr 29, 2005

Haha I didn't even realize that was a joke at first, cause around here (the bible belt) I've heard people saying shit like that and being serious.

Sera Michele · Apr 29, 2005

Hahaha

I knew it was a joke as soon as I read "Christian persecution in America"

gnrm23 · Apr 29, 2005

jesu kristu... there's 217 items on the original list...

Mononucleosis · Apr 29, 2005

That was a very satrical joke on how some Christians view other religions, good for them to show it.

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Christian Persecution in America

TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

Soulless||Chaos SelfInducedExistence

Sera Michele Senior Member

gnrm23 Senior Member

Mononucleosis Member

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Christian Persecution in America

TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

Soulless||Chaos SelfInducedExistence

Sera Michele Senior Member

gnrm23 Senior Member

Mononucleosis Member

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