Need Some Rainbow Love And Advice

Hi
It's me again. I am in search of a midwife that is going to the Nationals this year in the US. I have posted before but no one really has gotten a hold of me. It seems that I am really alone right now in the planning of my child's birth. I have lost a lot of hope in my friends and family here where I live, but I know my real home is at the Gathering. I think that's why I want to have my baby there so much because I know that there are loving brothers and sisters who will be willing to share and be apart of such a beautiful experience. It seems everyone here in Babylon is tied up into one thing or another. My best friend said she would not be apart of my birth because she does not approve of the father of my child who will also be present. My doula has just taken a new job and said that if she had to work on the day of my delivery than she couldn't break away. I don't have a supportive midwife and only an authoritative doctor who seems to be very "by the book." Some of you may think I am crazy to want to have a baby in the woods, but this is what my instincts tell me to do. I have been having nightmares about having my child in the hospital. I don't even want to go into the details of my bad dreams, but lets just say they are really bad. I am due at June 30th and this is my second child. So I don't expect to go early, but hey anything could happen. I want to take the appropriate measures and I have informed CALM adn the AGR mailing list that I am coming. (maybe some of you have seen my posts)
I cannot figure out why I am getting flaked off by each person that I would trust being there for me. I am one of those people who pride myself in being there for others and then when it comes to them being there for me, they've got something else to do. I am a busy person myself so its understandable, its not like I sit around all day. I am a full time college student and I work pt at a food co-op. I also have a step child and one of my own, 4 and 2 years old. So yes I have my hands full. But I manage to still make time for others. In fact, I want to devote my life to service, being a nurse.
Is there anyone out there who can help me with some advice...
Should I just go to the Gathering and "expect" that my fam will be there for me? (I hate thinking about it that way) or...
Should I stay where I am and be forced into the hospital birth without the real assertion that I will have a doula or midwife?
I do not want to take my troubles and make them yours by any means, but I am really at my last wick's end here and getting worried. I don't even feel the spiritual connection with my unborn child like I should because of my anxiety.
What can I do?

 

I'll be there for you if you need me! You can't go expecting "the family" will be there for you, IMO, but you can go with the spirit huge inside you, and a few at CALM supporting the birth process, and knowing that out of 10 - 50,000 people there will be a few who would trip over themselves for the chance to help. You may have noticed that rainbow mamas are in short supply compared to brothers at a gathering. Have you actually emailed, called or otherwise contacted a specific person who is midwife-trained and will be there?
Also, most importantly, do you have a place to go after the baby is born, after the gathering? Road life is really no fun until baby is a good couple months old again, IMO again. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM chill_mama loving you

 

Hmmm... I would certainly not advise having your child out in the woods without adequate preparations. While most in the rainbow family are of the best intentions, things tend to slip through the cracks sometimes. However, I see no reason that you cannot go in with a plan that will work.

I would be very happy to help in whatever way I could. I'll be going to nationals, and I'll probably be getting there two weeks early at least. I don't have many aplicable skills. But I could haul wood and water and build fires and all that. Just make sure that everything runs smoothly.

But you need someone who really knows what she's doing. And I don't know of any midwives that are planning on being at the gathering. If CALM can't find anyone, and nothing else comes through, I would say don't do it out in the woods with no plans and no skilled assistance. But if you decide to do it and you need help, let me know. I'm gonna PM you my e-mail address.

 

If I were in a similar situation, I'd go for the woods. Seeing that you're due June 30th, there will probally be more midwives than you'll want to deal with (ha,ha). Anytime before June 21, could be tricky, but should that be the case, take any advice that Kiddie Village Mama (L.) gives you, she might not be a midwife (or she might be now, haven't seen her in a while) but a least one of her kids was born at a Gathering & most/all (?) of the others have been homebirths. If you can, bring all the basics that the midwife would want (sterilized sheets & towels, anticeptics like rubbing alchol & peroxide, surgical scissors; Baby Basics, especially a nose cleaning bulb, plenty of clothes, blankets, diapers; several gallons of bottled water is a very good idea. If you're fully knowlegable of home birthing & have you supplies with you; the midwife will fall into place for you.

Much love; may the Spirit walk with you & yours.

Cinnamom of the hippiestead

 

Try asking on the OTHER Rainbow Newsgroup....BUT dont tell them we're over here!!!!

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.gathering.rainbow

Oh yeah, Watch out for trolls....

Tradin' Bill a.k.a. Fla_Hippy

 

Watch out of trolls? What do you mean? :O

 

thanks everyone
i am truly glad that you all are in support of this birth
i kinda figured it was my fate. i haven't missed a gathering for 5 years now. my partner has never been. what a way to spend your first gathering with your child being born at it!! i am really eager to go. i am trying to get my van together so i don't have to sit in my car. it's comfy but i want to be able to lay down if possible in my van. gas will be horrendous but worth the journey. i have checked into birth kits, and found someone who will come along for female support. but the more the merrier i believe. this way, i won't opt to take drugs because hey there won't be much of that around except the good old green herb. and i won't do anything else.
i could use as much help as possible. i will be staying in kiddie village i am sure unless for some unforseen reason i need to hide somewhere from the LEO's I have heard that they have tried in the past to drag laboring women to nearby hospitals or even arrest them for abuse and neglect. can you believe that? kinda scary.
oh and why do you not want me to mention this website on that newsgroup site? what do you mean trolls? do they make cruel judgements of this forum or what? i have been out on the agr twice but no one has contacted me as of yet. i don't want anyone to get into trouble for assisting the birth but i don't want to have it unassisted either.
oh please
can a midwife please come forward?

 

yeah i went to that web group off of google
wow, it was really scary harry in there.
i see what you mean by trolls
i will never doubt you again
i like it better here
thanks for the warning
i see why you don't want them coming over here to make trouble
not that they shouldn't let their voice be heard, but seriously come on...
i could barely keep up with what they were talking about
it got way off the topic and got into digs with personalities
too deep for me
i just want a midwife and i will trust that the gathering will always go as planned
you cannot keep us out of the woods, but we can definetely cause trouble for each other if we cannot join together for peace
what is their deal anyways..?

 

I'm wondering about your previous birth history...any complications? Also, you need to know that 2nd deliveries may be faster than the first one. As well as a risk of bleeding greater amounts because of the slower contraction of the uterus (shrinkage)...so get pitocin, and a sterile syringe for an intermuscular injection. Have that with you. Also you may need suture thread and needle, to repair a vaginal tear if need be.

I also suggest that you and your compaion take a CPR course that includes infant CPR.

Contact me sweet Chill~ MaMa: thegoddesswolfstar@yahoo.com

 

to answer a few questions
yes i have a place to go to after the gathering. i actually have an apartment. it's in the sticks but yes i guess i am not very rainbow for having a "steady place" to live and work and eat and retreat but it's home for now
to answer another question
no i have not had any complications in my last birth except that the dr. liked to me and gave me pitocin and it went horribly bad after that, but no c-section. my baby was fine as is this one, as far as i can tell.
any more?

 

that you are going to do what you want to do....I'm a nurse and I wouldn't touch this...just from the vibe that I'm getting.

The pitocin was most likely used to help your uterus to clamp down after the birth..to help stop the bleeding from the detachment of the placenta.

If it was during the birth...then it was to help you along with your contractions, meaning that perhaps your contraction weren't getting you anywhere. I can understand your (what sounds like bitterness to me) misgivings...I went through transition with that mean ol' pitocin myself...my Midwife said that pitocin contractions are wayyyy harder than the ol' oxytocin ones that your pituitary gland puts out.

I'm glad that you had a regular/normal/no problem previous delivery! But EVERY BIRTH has it's own identity.

Remember that giving birth is about the delivery of the CHILD...you want to have those apgars in the 9's. (Meaning that your child maintained a good level of oxygenation throughout the delivery) This prevents conditions like CEREBRAL PALSY (brain damage).

Now I know that us Rainbows get all sensitive and hurt sometimes when it comes to reality checks....so please put aside your ego. And think about this event that you want to happen...

What would be optimal for you and the baby would be: to have excellent pre-natal care right up to the 36th week and and then have a Nurse-Midwife at the gathering to help you the rest of way...

But in reality that is asking for a huge risk...not only for you and the baby, but also for the Midwife...you have to understand that it's getting harder and harder for Midwives to even practice in this day and age, and sometimes it takes years and years of education and practical training to obtain that license. And the malpractice insurance is in the thousands. I'm sorry but what you are asking is a real big liability to any Midwife. Think about that.

Here's an alternative: have the baby at home and then IF you are healthy enough...go to the gathering after. But then there is also the risk of hemmorhage and child-bed fever...but IF you are conscious enough and I mean extremely hygienic...you MAY be able to pull it off.

~on a wing and a prayer~ succulent