Joke for you all to enjoy.

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was then heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.
6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the customer replied. When told "Egghead" was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."
8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was bad and an invalid. The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: Hello, is this Tech Support?
Tech: Yes, it is. How may I help you? Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed Tech: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder" Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer. Tech: Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped; it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, like at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it? Caller: It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has 4X on it.
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive! Another well-known one that I can add is the true tale of the user who called up complaining that the instructions said to load the four diskettes into Drive A" but he couldn't possibly get more than two in.


I actually have a Video of # 12. Cup Holder!

 

I do not believe most of those stories... the cup holder one is fathomable... hell, i'de call customer service and do that.. just for shits and giggles.

But fer the other ones i dont think anyone would be that stupid to put a disk in their typewriter or expect a computers monitor to send faxes

 

Some of those stories are VERY old as far as computers go. The typewriter one for example. THAT dates back to when we used both 8 inch and 5 1/4 inch soft disks.
#2. About the mouse Dust Cover. I actually KNOW people like that!

 

you give users WAY too much credit.

seriously.

there's a good reason the first questions you always ask are "Is it plugged in?" and "Is it turned on?"

pebkac errors abound.

 

Yeah, there are some slooooooooooow people out there when it comes to computers. Dad works on them for people in our area and he runs across stupid scenarios similar to these all the time.

 

well than it seems my job will be cut out for me when I get into the PC repair business.

 

haha, oh yes, it will be . Good luck with that .

 

i am tres 1337
reset your cmos.

 

LOL.. love stuff like that.. and yeah.. users càn be thàt stupid

 

dammit, i thought he meant to find some geeks too

 

I used to think they were made up too... until I worked ISP Helpdesk for a year, and got a few similar calls myself... yeah, people really are that stupid.

(one of my favorites: one day we handed out floppy's with internet software at some kind of event -yes, this was old too, back when most people used Windows 3.1/3.11 that didn't include dialup software. Next day we get this phone call, "Hello. I got this disc thingy from you guys yesterday, with internet software. Do I need a computer to use that?" Eh, no, you could try opening it up, reading it yourself, and whistling into the telephone to make the connection... )

 

​

 

I would never have believed people were this stupid....until I had to walk my grandmother through how to get to a solitaire game...or the time she tried to free up space on her computer by deleting a bunch of files that she didn't think she was using (a bunch of really important ones!)....idiots...

 

I once pulled a Peanut Butter sandwich from a VCR that "Won't accept a tape!" No shit lady! Keep your child away from it. Was what I told her.
Made an easy $50 off of that job!

 

LOL. Jer has a client that still uses her drive for a cupholder! She hasn't broken it yet.

 

I have, on my computer, a VIDEO of someone using it for a cup holder. Shorted out the whole system!

 

Do share!

ooooh...that must'v hurt! x_O

 

they're most likely old people who call in like that. my grandpa would be really stupid about computers if he had one. damn, i could just imagine him trying to figure it out. lmao
peace & love.

 

My lord...... I hate tech support, it's evil..... now I know why, they hate computer owners......

 

Here's my Email experience with MusicMatch Tech support.

ME: I have a question about "Visualizations"? (Like WMP does when you listen to music?)

Tech: What version of the program do you HAVE sir?
(They are UP to like version12.8765658734683)

ME: 7.0. Shouldn't the visualizations work on any version? Like they do with WMP.

Tech: I can't help you if you're gonna be argumentative, sir.

Me: ???? and I ended the email thread.