Blind sided entirely....need advice

I’m not sure where to start, I’m still stunned.

I’ve been in a relationship with a manic-depressive for 2 years….or should I say was. Yup, he had issues and has issues to this day, but I fell madly in love with him. We have been through so much and I always stood by him no matter what, even when he felt hopeless and lost his job because of his depression (he is doing better now after switching meds), he could always count on me for anything.

Now I will start informing you all why I’m here. I have bought a place (me and MY daughter are currently living with my folks) and we were to all move in together, we picked out the carpet and paint color 3 weeks ago, every things was going accordingly. He told his roommate that he was moving in with me and that he would be out by June.

Three days ago he told me (4 weeks before our position date) that he loves me but is not in love with me anymore (news to me), he says the thought of moving in with me and taking on the family roll scared the living daylights out of him and he can’t do it. He says he lived with a person for 8 years in the past and fell out of love with her and does not want to go thought that again and be trapped in a place he despises being in. He says he is such a loner and loves his loner, beer drinking lifestyle and that he is terrified of making a change that would mess up my life and his even more… He has problems isolating him self a lot, I just figured this would be good for him and thing would just fall into place.

My problem is I just can’t understand why one minute we were picking out appliances and him being all for it and the next minute he dumps me.

I am absolutely devastated, heart broken and confused.
I’m ok with him not moving in with me if that is what he wants but to break it off with me and to say he is not in love with me that is a shock.

If anyone could help with any advice, I’m sitting here dumbfounded.

 

Hiya Heather130. I'm sorry to hear about your mess. So he gave you the old "I love you but I'm not in love with you" bunk? I think that's straight out of the Lame Wuss Excuse Handbook ... yeah, here it is right next to "I'm a loner, a rebel" and "It's not you, it's me." Maybe he's telling the truth, but yeah, it's very strange how this suddenly happened right when he was on the verge of making an important commitment.

Well, I have absolutely no constructive advice to offer. And even if I did, it wouldn't be fair to the guy, since a lot of my opinions are speculation. But hey, for what it's worth, um, welcome to hipforums

 

maybe he's afraid to allow himself to feel love?

also, sometimes when a person finds out just how well another person knows them, they get insecure and freak out. some people are real good at doing that...

is he seeing a shrink at the moment? i assumed he was, since he's switching meds... maybe his shrink suggested that the move would be good/bad for him, and that impacted his decision?