HELPPP MEEEE.....about this love thing...

I have a problem....it's committment.....i cant do it. People say i just haven't found the right one....which is probably true....but I've met this guy and he's incredibly nice, very sweet, fun, FUNNY, great personality, motivated, has goals, treats me like a QUEEN......and is in total love with me.....i mean TOTALLY.......all he cares about is my happiness and that i'm competely satisfied with everything. He is entirely focused on making sure I'm treated the way I should be......he's very cute....a little taller than me, green eyes, short brown hair...nice tan, 3 tattoos that are HOT...pretty smile, great music taste...enjoys things I enjoy.......and nice muscle tone

PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!

After the first few dates, i thought I could be with this guy forever.......but then little things got under my skin, really shallow things that i should totally look over and not even think about ..........and i started getting these feelings of irritation being with him, and that he was too friendly, too approachable for me.........just another plain ole guy that I wasn't that interested in anymore....i kinda felt gross kissing him......SOOOO BAD....i started thinking bad thoughts and how I couldn't even picture myself having sex with this guy...that it would totally gross me out.

PROBLEM....!!!!!!!!

I get like this EVERYTIME i start to get close to a guy, and I see he is wonderful and that i really like him......and then I get turned off by him after a certain number of times of going out with him.....BLAHHHHHH!!!!!

I hate feeling like that b/c i've competely done guys wrong in the past for those reasons stated above....i mean i start feeling grossed out by them EVERYTIME i try and date someone. and get close to them.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!??????????????????!???!?!?!?!?!?


Tonite we sat down at a coffee shop and he told me he knew something was wrong b/c i wasn't acting the same way around him as i had been before. And i couldn't open up to him at all....and now he thinks i'm just totally hating him and don't want to be with him at all.....and he's very sad now and that hurts me more than anything.

I do like him.......but i always seem to get those feelings when I get around him...how i don't even want him to touch me...or ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!

Does this just mean that I HAVE NOT found the right one....and should absolutely let him go and try and find someone new.....or is it that i'm just being stupid and need to actually TRY and make it work out and just tell myself that the feelings of "grossness" is just fake and not real? should i really try and have a REAL relationship with this guy?!?!? ANd try and make things work........?!?!?!??!?!?!?

This happens everytime i start to get close to someone.......it needs to stop b/c i'm starting to feel i'm not capable of loving ANYONE or ever having a relationsihp!!!!!!!! I'm scared to death........


So are my feelings really true and they're telling me that he is not for me........or am I being ridiculous and just need to give him a chance and forget about those horrible ideas and feelings i'm having?



He said that tomorrow.....i either call him and continue our relationship....or don't call him and end it like that......b/c he can't stand to be dragged around anymore like i'm doing with his feelings.........which i compeletely understand....HELPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE!

 

do what you want to, are you satisfied with him or not, if not dump em

 

if you're grossed out by somebody, leave them... it's so much easier to stay single and date around until you find somebody you really like, and the feeling actually lasts more than a few days, than it is to try to make yourself like somebody that you're grossed out by.

also, i see a problem with falling for a guy way too fast... you don't really KNOW the guy after 3 days.. you're seeing what you want to see and then when you see the real him, it's annoying and gross.... you might want to try to work on taking relationships slooooooowly and get to know a person before you let yourself fall head over heels for them.. don't expect ppl to live up to your expectations, you gotta learn to love ppl for who they really are. and it's tough, i know. so many times i have been around ppl and then i find something new out about them and am shocked and my feelings change, because they're not quite who i thought they were.. does that make sense? it's not a good quality and i've worked hard to try and change it (still working on it)

it sounds like you're imagining a perfect guy, imposing it on a new guy who fits some of the characteristics, and then realizing he's not that "perfect guy", so you're no longer attracted. either wait for that perfect guy (and how will you know he's perfect unless you get to really know him inside and out) or lower your expectations a little. high expectations are good, but figure out what you really want in a guy and be accepting of other qualities. it's important to love ppl and all their humanness we aren't really perfect at all...


hope that helps... didn't mean to sound harsh at all, i've certainly done what you have a few times...

 

thankssss for that...it does help

 

ya like if you lost feeling for sombody ....which is perfectly natural and ok ....then your doin nobody a favor fakin da funk ....id rather be knowin you were bein real bout it ....being honest with yosef n him is the way to go and mabya few of theese defused love relationships can evolve into carring friendships ...some wont either .

 

Your just not ready to settle down yet. That's all.

 

Commitment is overrated.