I am one of those girls now

i'm so sorry to hear this headymoechick, but i'd say your not one of those girls - because instead of doing nothing about it, and maybe letting it happen again, you've stood strong - you've kicked him into touch and are getting on and sorting things out.

you know you deserve better than that. alls you got to remember is its not your fault in anyway. peeps have arguments, people fall out, people have big bust ups - but thats no excuse for beating anyone.

he sounds a right c u next tuesday!

my dad used to get violent with my mum ( they split up years ago now thank fuck ), so i kinda understand it must be so so difficult for you, but to me you seem to be strong and on the case, so good luck headymoe - all the best from the uk and if hes ever in the uk let me know

 

thats fucked up, to dark. i've just read your journal, he might need to talk to someone special like to help him deal with whatevers happend thats made him like that - cos i'd say theres something going there or somethings happend in the past to make him that way. obviously you probably dont care about him now ( or want to not care ), but maybe if you do see him just say look geezer - you should maybe talk things through and sort your anger out - cos he needs to sort it before he blows again with someone else.

maybe i'm talking crap though, i'm no psychiatrist or anything, so sorry if i've upset you or anything with this post, but i'd hate to think that he could do that, or worse, again to someone else.

 

any comments and advice are appreciated. thanks.

I just don't like being told it was my fault for "opening his valve"

thanks for supporting me and recognizing that I am trying to be as strong as i can.

 

Someone on here said "How could a man hit a woman?" He's not a real man if he hits a woman. My father taught my brother and me that only cowards hit women.


Guys if you can't control your temper you shouldn't be in a realtionship. If ya wanna hit something go buy a punching bag

 

I liked your post. I feel that a women who stays with a man who has hit her may not be getting it across that this is totally unacceptable behavior. I think if women on a whole just started walking out maybe they (meaning violent men, or women for that matter) would start understanding this?

 

^ i have an agreement with that post by TARABELLE, i think that actions speak louder than words and that 'sticky by' a guy (or girl) in their eyes, or maybe subconsciously, they feel that whatever theyve done they can keep doing it b/c he/she isnt going to leave them, so you end up being used, emocionally/physically drained, and hurt in the end.

same thing with a cheating bf you keep going back to or anything along those lines....i mean you'll know when they are really sorry, and again, actions speak louder than words, leaving proves you really mean it rather than just saying it

 

i'm sorry that has happened to you. its not your fault! don't ever think it is. abuse in general is wrong, no matter how much spin is put on it. abuse in a relationship, either its a man hitting a woman or vice versa is wrong on so many levels. i don't understand how someone can hit a person they are supposed to be loving. i just don't get it.

my sister was hit by one of her ex's...i don't know if it was the right thing to do, but i went on instinct and i beat the shit out of him. i just don't tolerate that on any female, nor my sister.

i hope you do the right thing for yourself, whatever that may be. (((hugs)))

 

It happens.
When I was 20 something, a friend of a friend got beaten by her BF. We brought her back to our place to stay. I have never seen anything like it - she was beaten to a pulp, eye damage, kicked in the kidneys - it was horrible looking. BTW, she crawled out of their apt. while he was kicking her, and a church was letting out across the street and they all just ignored it. Anyway, after she healed enough to walk, her brother took her with to her BF's place so she could see as he beat the shit out of this asshole. The BF started crying he was so scared, oh, but he didn't have any trouble doing it to someone else.

 

a girl should never put up with it ever...... i had a friend that was real abusive physically, and not to mention mentally. Always putting her down, and if she stood up for herself he took it as a threat. Not good in any situation, he was our friend, but we had to help her get out of the relationship. Unfortunatly he was never one to even agree to go to counseling....

 

i say we all get together and have a nice big "kick the shit out of headymoechick's man" party....hipforums style....i get first hits

 

yeah damn you for not socking him back and for letting him hit you-how silly does that sound now...
obviously it's not your faul nor is it the fault of women who 'let' themselves into that situation

 

1. Hit him back.

2. I've seen your gallery. You're a very pretty girl who looks like she loves life (the smile says that). Someone like that deserves better. I hope you know that.

 

I appologise for my gender. never put up with that again.

 

OMg LIKE LOlz !211!

I feelz no sympathy fer u.Girls like u are dumb and ask to ge thit by staying around.Lol

 

wow.


you should be shot for that.

 

read the thread and you'll see she didn't stay around. and just how do girls ask to be hit? if it were your sister, mum or mate, would you still have no sympathy?

c u next tuesday!

 

people like that don't bother me at all. All he does is flame everyone until he/she gets banned. Let him have his fun.

Just to update, I have stayed strong and I didn't go back to him. It's been hell. He keeps calling and showing up and begging me to come back.

 

wHOA! red flag alert! usually abusive partners have a lot of issues and emotional problems and being in a relationship is the last thing they need! i'm not saying you shouldn't LOVE someone who is like that, but being AROUND them and living in the same house as them can be very dangerous! they may be aware of their abusive tendencies and WANT to change, but they can relapse too!

 

did you change the locks? i'm really proud you've been so strong good for you! maybe you should get a new apartment, if that's an option. and a new number. if you fall off the radar for awhile, it might actually help him to move on. and you, too. if you keep seeing and talking to him and vice versa, it'll make the whole thing harder. just my $0.02 and how it's been in my experiences in the past.

 

Erik has realized the gravity of his actions almost as soon as it is over. He feels bad and begs for forgiveness. It's so hard to turn away from someone you love. I am having a very hard time staying away, because I DO love him and want to belive him. But I don't. I think that he does feel bad, and he wants to change, but he could easily relapse. It's like an addiction. If he feels that I hurt him, he dwells on it until he is angry enough to hurt me back. When he gets it out, it's like a fix. He knows it works. That's what scares me the most.


I did change the locks. I would like to move into a new place, but that costs money I don't have!!

I have been doing all I can to stay away. It's been hard. He will come to my friend's house or work. He cries and it makes me feel so bad. I wonder if he really wants me back, or if it's just a manipulative trick.