hey everyone, it's been awhile since I posted, but I haven't been on the computer that much... any way I need help, what do people talk about? I never seem to know what to say, I guess that's why I don't have any friends or any thing, I'm not shy or anything at all, it's just I never know what to say, it's like when I'm talking with someone I can never figure out what to say, and then there's that award silence, and I just stand around like I should say something, but what? and it sucks. I just don't know what to do with my life any more, it seems like nothing can ever go right any more, I feel like I'm at the bottom of a hill and at the top is happiness, and whenever I start to get to the top someone is there to kick me back down to the bottom, it really is, it's like I keep getting happier starting at the bottom going up getting even happier as I start getting to the top and then when I'm just about up there, to full happiness I get knocked down and then I'm really depressed for a few days then the cycle just starts again. I can never get ahead, something always goes wrong. and I'm really just getting sick of life I just don't think I what to live any more it's just not worth living, I just want to die, I really don't think any one will know I'm gone, I mean really. like my teachers don't even know I'm there, like this report card it said that I had like 4 days out from the school, which is right, but every class had a different number of days like one had 11 or something and one even had just 1, it's like I'm glad you don't even know when I'm here or not...I can't stand having to be home all the time, well besides school, but it really sucks, every time I go any where I have to go by myself, I wish I had someone to go to concerts, of even just to the mall with...I find my self drinking and stuff more just to get away from everything, it really sucks to drink, or smoke alone, I end up just getting depressed and crying about how life sucks. and when ever I try to talk to any one about it they just don't really pay attention and just say well every one goes through this, or your life is fine stop being so dramatic, or some ting, I'm really going to kill my self it's just not even funny any more...well back to my original question how can I talk more, what do people talk about?
first of all, if you kill yourself it will have a bigger impact than you think. people will be hurt in so many different ways if you do. people are just wierd, all mixed up in their own stuff that they don't have time to notcie the pain of others. suicide is no way to make things better, believe me, i've been there. about the not having anything to say part. just say whatever the hell you want, and if people don't like it, then fuck 'em, they're not worth talkin to
seriously... you will get over it. this happens to everyone, some point in peoples lives they are depressed. you stay depressed for only an amount of time, your dead forever. you will get over it. just talk about your interests, bands music, movies, talk to people about smoking then or drinking, like experiences or funny stories... yea... haha talk about who you are and dont lie, nobody likes liers. good luck!
I had depression as a teen but didn't know what to call it. It still hits me sometimes, and it is still hard sometimes to talk to people that I don't know well. Try to find a small group that you feel comfortable with, whether internet or "real life". This forum has a lot of niches where you can get started. the personal forums are good for that. In your day to day life there is always someone who probably is interested in you and you don't even know it. Just say hello to people and if it leads to a conversation, just be yourself. People mostly understand, we all have our shynesses. If one person ends up being a jerk, just shrug it off and go on. that shit does happen to everyone.
Oh, shut up... you bloody attention seaking drama queen. Be fucken greatful for being alive, and stop bitching.
suicide is never the anwser. things will get better. if you want to send me a pm i would love to talk to you. maybe we could be friends.
