Sexually Harassed....

I didnt know where to post this but thought it would fit here...

I feel as though I am being sexually harassed at work by a particular man. At first it didnt bother me as much and I just blew it off, but now its like getting worse. For instance, at first it would be little things but it would be every morning. Like he would come in and come right up to me and say things like "I saw you dancing on the table tops last night you looked good"(have no idea what he was talking about, he was basically calling me a stripper) "You're one of them wild girls arent you" and just basically things like that, which didnt really bother me cause i just thought he was a jackass and ignored it. But then it progressed and its getting worse. Now he sometimes rub my shoulders, and tells me how he is going to spank me, and then he will just lurk over me and I know he is staring down my shirt and he gets so close that it makes my stomach hurt and stuff. I act like a bitch to him so he would leave me alone, and it didnt seem to help. And its like now he has sidekicks that join in as well. There are a total of three of them that make comments constantly, and so others can hear as well. I just dont know what to do, I dont know if i am overreacting, or if i am not. I mean he is old enough to be my father, and he has a family and its just, ewwwie, he makes me have that horrid gut feeling. Sometimes he tells me that he will wait and walk out with me after work, and its like, no thanks, dont feel like getting attacked today...I act so bitchy, and I would think that would work, but didnt. I dont want to go to anyone and tell cause I dont know. I dont want him to get fired, i just want him to leave me alone. And i dont want to give him a bad rep at work, even though he is a disgusting asshole, I just dont know what to do..
If anyone can give me a few words of advice or anything at all, it would be greatly appreciated.

 

That is most definitely sexual harrassment...tell your boss....be kind of quiet about it, though...don't tell anyone at work, because rumors start, and you also don't want the guy getting to your boss first. It wouldn't hurt to record some of the stuff he's saying, or just tell a close friend at work to keep an eye on you so they could be a witness if your boss needed proof. This happened to me when I was 16...this 25 year old married guy kept trying to get me to go into the bathroom with him for a quickie.... I finally went to my boss after a few weeks. Luckily, someone had overheard him saying it a couple of times, even though I didn't know they had. So that person gave me a lot more credibility and the guy got fired.


So get a tape, get a witness, and tell your boss, so you can have a record that you filed a grievance or whatever. You might want to sue him later.

 

thanks happy..
I havent told anyone at work at all. I know this is going to sound lame, but I have wanted to go to my boss, but my boss is a man and i am afraid of what he might think cause i dont know, i know that sounds horrible and i shouldnt feel that way. My boss is a nice guy, but i dont know.

Thats crazy how that guy kept asking you that, dont you just want to punch them in the face..makes you feel sorry for their family.

Thanks so much for your advice hun

 

I think you need to speak up..your not being irrational. I think this guy will immediately back-down if confronted with this...nobody wants to think of themselves as a disher out of harrassment (couldnt explain it it better sorry)

dont take any shit from anyone ok...your your own best freind and this guy is wrong as all hell

 

You should definitely tell someone about this. It will just continue to get worse most likely, and it is not right, and you need to tell someone.

At my first job, I was being sexually harrassed by this guy who was probably almost 40 and I was 17. I didn't tell anyone because I thought I was overreacting and didn't want to cause trouble. But some of my other coworkers started to notice something and one of them (who felt really fatherly to me) told our boss and then they questioned me and the guy got fired.

I hadn't wanted to tell anyone, but I should have, and I'm just lucky that someone else said something. So I definitely think that you should tell someone.

 

Hey thanks Anti, and Nuggets..

You're right about the whole getting worse thing..I wish i could just kick him in the balls and be done with the whole thing. I know i need to say something, and I get so so close, but then I just get scared, I dont know why either.
Thanks again everyone for the advice...

 

if they keep doing it, record them. you can be much more of a bitch than you think and they deserve a hell of alotta shit for this, it's so disgusting and mean

report it to your boss, report it as high as your work goes, make it known that you don't take shit. i hope it stops soon, it must be nasty

 

Thanks Kier..

Yeah I tried being very bitchy..I know I could probably be more mean. Its just that hes like older than my dad and its sorta hard cause i want to ask him what if someone talked to his daughter that way or treated her like that...cause he has a daughter a little older than me..
Its very nasty, especially when he gets real close and i can feel his nasty hot breath on me...I shudder and gag just thinking about it..

 

i hope you stand up and put this guy in his place. you shouldn't have had to put up with it this long.

 

hey thanks piscean...

See thats what bothers me is that its not like a comment here or there..or like one or two times...its like every freaking day, and sometimes I seriously want to cry cause I just dont want this dude near me and it makes me feel, i cant really explain it but its not a good feeling at all...
I am about to go have a talk with my boss, I am nervous but I just want to tell him cause I dont think that I should have to feel this way every morning. Wish me luck cause I feel like I am going to throw up..

 

no, i meant be more bitchy by reporting him...it needs to stop, it's really unfair on you. don't put up with it, it sounds as if its gone way too far already, and it's worrying

 

Well I went and talked to my boss and it was horrible that I left and came home. What an ass, I am totally shocked and very upset at what he said to me and the way he acted.
I went to his office and sat down and told him everything. And my boss straight up told me that he is sure that "Bob" doesnt mean anything by it and that I am probably taking it the wrong way, but if I want him to, he will have a talk with him.
I laughed and shook my head and just got up and left to come home. I was so upset that I cried in my car, which dissapoints me because I am usually not like that but he just made me feel like complete shit and totally excused his behavior. Now, I dont even want to go back to work, I dont know whats going to happen. They're probably in his office smoking a cuban and degrading women..bastards.

 

damn, that sounds so wrong!!! yuk...is there anyone higher you can go to?...where do you work?

and don't be affraid of your emotions, i can understand not wanting to cry in front of your boss, but don't be scared of telling people how you feel, let your friends try and suport you

don't be affraid of reporting it all, or getting friends and colleagues (sp?) to help, they are sooo in the wrong. hope it get's better for you, it's a shit that something like this makes work feel crap

 

Thanks Kier..

Yeah, I was just really glad that I either didnt punch my boss in the face or cry. Part of me wants to just tell "Bob" to go fuck himself, ya know. Like tomorrow when he comes up to me, just tell him off ya know. Since my boss wont say anything, only if I want him to though, and I could only imagine what he would say, if he hasnt already.

 

only one solution: kill the bastard

 

lol...if only.
Or better yet make some nasty perv guy do it to him..

 

your boss sounds like a fucking asshole. does he have a boss you could go to, seems you need to tell on both of them...

 

Remember what he's doing is totally illegal. You have to go to someone who will help, if your boss won't.


This might help. I just glanced at it, but you might want to check it out:
http://www.eeoc.gov/facts/howtofil.html

 

Hey thanks happy and Funkyphresh..

When I came into work today a lot of people were staring at me and stuff, I dont know if its just me being paranoid or if my boss had a talk with him and he told everyone or what. My boss hasnt said one word to me today at all. When he came in I said good morning and he just noded his head a little...
And whats his face doesnt come in till later, dont know if I will stick around for it cause I feel odd being here and its making my stomach hurt.
I might go up to Human Resources and just talk to someone....

 

and thanks for the link hun..