just need to blow off some steam....

you know, sometimes life just throws you in the shitter and keeps flushing you futher and futher into it's shit-clogged pipes........

lol, yeah, I'm a little bitter right now.....didn't really know where to post this, but meh, I'll just do it here.
I'm just in a stressed out mood and I need to vent to someone. I'm not looking for a bunch of, "poor you,"responces. like I said, i just need to vent.

as most of you know, i'm pregnant right now, which i'm happy about and all. the shitty thing, is that my doc wanted me to quit my job because it was to physically stressful right now. so i did.
now i've started to try and find another one.....
i had a perfect job lined up, but it was at the other end of the city and my car no longer works. this would have been an awsome job, but the busses in our city stop at 10pm and the shift would have gone till midnight. so I knew i had to buy a new car.
for the first time in our lives, we had a nice savings account built up, and I found a car in the classifieds that I went to go look at. we bought it, drove it home, and the engine overheated and seized the second we pulled into our parkinglot.
so...no money, no car, can't get the job, oh shit.
well, there were a few places I'd worked in the past that I decided to call up that were close to home.
I called (shudder) walmart, who I quit because I was going back to school, and they said that I was not "rehireable." blah. I didn't put too much thought into it.....it's walmart.....i hated working there anyway.
Then i called this old convenience store that I'd worked at a while back. I really enjoyed working there, and when I found out that there was a new manager, I was really excited. I quit because of this one chick who decided to just go ape-shit one day and decided that she had it in for me. I wasn't the first person she'd done this to...hell, she used to sell drugs at work and get into fist-fights with the customers!!!!!!
SO I called up the manager today, and explained to him what happened, and he sounded really understanding. He knew about this other chick, and said that he made sure she was long gone.
I was supposed to come and see him this afternoon.
I was kinda worried about these 2 sisters who work there, though....they're the kind of people who are really nice to your face, but never have a single nice thing to say behind your back. They did it to staff, customers, everyone. I had a feeling it was about to happen again.
Low and behold, 10 minutes later, he calls back and says that after thinking about it, he decided that he wouldn't be comfortable with me back there and that I would be a waste of time to talk to....ouch!!!! I knew those girls said something to him...
I really don't know how I pulled it off, but I've got a bad rep where I live........I'm friendly to everyone I meet, but somehow, I just get myself twisted into these stupid situations. I really don't get how I do it.
Now that I've tried to turn things around, it's just gotten worse.....I really don't know what else to do.......blah I've got seriously bad karma, and i really am at a loss for trying to figure out what I should do now.
I must say, though, I feel better now. Still pissed, but better. :$

 

well, congratulations on your baby! Atleast you have something to look forward to.

 

that's what makes me feel better about everything
thanx

 

Wow.

If I were you I'd let that fairy of joy froggie of yours beat the shit out of those sisters.

 

Whether it be within yourself, or the way you treat others..... ALWAYS strive to do better. I'm sorry to hear about all that trouble you're going through. You've really had some bad luck, I think most people go through that..financial problems and such. Some are lucky enough not too..I damn sure ain't one of those people. Things are not gonna get any easier for you, but you know that. I find that when I stop to think about all the shit that is stressing me in a negative, "oh my what the hell am I gonna do" way then I tend to lose my spirit, and I feel like I'm losing control of my life. I always feel better when I just live, and think positive. Focusing on negative makes me feel negative inside. The way you carry yourself and present yourself to the world will come back like a reflection to you. Always be aware of that.
I got pregnant at 18, as I've told you before, and life changed the moment that little girl was born. I think back on how far I've come since then, and I literally don't see how I did it. I STILL don't see how I'm doing it, being a single mom of two who works 10 hours a day. It gets done though, and you can do it too sweetie..

 

about the only thing that is keeping me sane with me head on my shoulders is thinking about this baby's future. i just want it to be as good as possible. I'm just afraid that we won't be able to give him/her that. our baby isn't asking to be born into this life, and i feel almost selfish for doing so.
we need more money...we can barely eat as it is, we have collection agencies on our ass and I can't get a job. my boyfriend nor i never graduated (i'm so close, just need 3 more courses), so that doesn't help, either.
everyday, i get out of bed, and put a smile on my face. I look at all the things that we have, and know that it's more than some other people out there. but then crap like what happened today happens, and it just pushes you back down again, you know?
believe it or not, I tried to see the positive in this job situation....it's just hard when someone tells you that they believe you'd be nothing but a problem.

 

lol, they need it, huh?

 

So go try to find another job. To hell with those girls. Go take some night courses and both of you get your GED's. Like I said, don't focus on the negative, you can always make your situation better. Trust me.

 

see, i legally CAN'T go back to school right now. Already looked into that. It's complicated...see, since I'm 18, I can still go to a regular high school, but since schools almost done, i'd have to wait until september. by then I'll be 19, and I can't legally go to high school, i'd have to go to a college. You're not allowed to go to the colleges here to do upgrading until you've been out of school for a year, until you qualify as a mature student, which puts me at next January. By then I should be able to go back beacuse my bf's mom is moving in w/ us. (thank god!)
As for finding another job:that's where the problem is. One: I'm obviously pregnant. You can tell when you look at me.....
Two: I've worked at all the places close to home. The busses don't go to where all the new jobs are (it's a new area of town, no routes over there yet).
This is what's stressing me out.
trust me, I've been looking for a job. every day.
my resume either gets handed back to me, or i never hear from them.

 

Ugghh, sorry to hear about your unlucky streak sweetie. Things will get better though, you've got to believe that.

Much love and hugs...

 

BTW, how is your pregnancy going? When are you due again?

 

the pregnancy is going great!!!!!!!!!!!
I wrote an update on it in the parenting forum under the "finding out baby's gender" thread.
Babes is just a kickin away now! lol! It never stops! Especially when I'm trying to go to sleep! (lol, it starts already!)
I'm due September 15th! lol, 2 days after my sis's b-day, and a month after mine! I thought that was cool!

 

I'm so glad to hear that everything is going so well! Isn't it totally amazing feeling your baby moving? That's one of the things I miss most about being pregnant. It was so incredible.

Your due date is two days before my little sister's birthday!

 

it's really neat to feel the baby moving! It's getting stonger and stronger by the day!
lol, it's just frustrating when I'm trying to sleep! lol
And of course, the minute that I tell daddy that babes is moving, and he puts his hand on my tummy, and it stops, lol
there was one night when the babes gave him a good "boot" but then nothing since then! and the second he takes his hand off, and i put mine back on, it starts again!
poor daddy, lol