His hips kind of buckled when she approached, pebbling her way over the long mansion drive with thin sandals on. The rich boys party was booming and shaking overhead in the anicks. Fireworks were spouting out in shrills and purple green spectacular lighting. The night was incredibly dark and the stars whitened bright and exclusive for the young ones. He lent his spine back on the trailer and felt his jean pocket interior, the soft cotton was wearing thin but he liked the way it felt so soft to his labourers hands. His knuckles were broad and calloused, they had white bone shining through and when she emerged out from under the barns leaning shadow, they reflected the white enamel grin that peered invitingly from his weather bronzed flesh. The flashy eyes also brightened and featured his relaxed standing there as supremely sexy to the girl who came closer towards him. ‘Uh’ she said and shook her silver hair backwards, trying to stand straight enough to elongate her belly and at the same time point it towards his own. She smiled nervously and shy at his obvious appeal. He didn’t stop his simple observation of her waist and face delicate in their own way different to the more pulsing parts of outwards breasts and cupping bum. It made her feel strange, but also glad that this guy was so clearly recognising her interest. He took the back of her waist and drew her in to meet the softening grow of his jeaned zip. It was a way of showing her he was pleased, and really wanted to get to know her, more. Even though it was blatant that he was drunk, swaying to the music billowing from the disco lighted brawl inside, she didn’t care and kind of liked the alcohol smell intoxicating her even more into his steady grip. He wasn’t going to let this one go tonight he thought. This is mine, he grinned, my dinner. Without stopping to think he leant down and brought her into his muscling tongue. Whoa. She thought, this guy is a bad kisser, I can hardly breathe here. He was pushing through every space he could find with his great big mouth. He seemed to be trying to eat her insides and lick them into his own flesh. She was stunned and taken aback at this intrusion. Somehow though it also took her in. It certainly wasn’t what she expected but for some reason the forcefulness of his desire drowned out the terrible lack of romanticism and she took on the fight. He loved it. He could make her nearly choke and then she’d have to play with him even harder to make enough room for her breath. That was the plan anyway; push her till she pushes me. Get that crazy animal out in the open, he thought. Let’s have her show me how to fuck. Harhar! The moonlight was glaring down on the two, he was older by a few years and drunker by a decade. But she was up for this, she was up to the challenge.. ‘let’s do what teenage fun is’ she said chirpily and he laughed swaggering in the cold night. He chugged some vodka to warm up and they stumbled over fences past horse trodden fields to a far muddy corner fenced in. They showed each other their pants laughing and hers said, ‘don’t judge a girl by her knickers’ He kissed them and then licked them softly feeling underneath to pull them aside. He couldn’t find the right place and she sighed again thinking with sarcasm, this night couldn’t get any better. But then he lay on top of her, fumbling with the jeans he still had belted on. She was horrified. What was he doing? They blatantly had nothing for protection out here and she shouted to him ‘Jon, Jon! What! Are? you doing?’ He looked up through fuzzy drunk sloping eyes and mumbled. ‘Sorry’ Then he stood up awkwardly saying… ‘Let’s go back’ he could hardly stand by now. Crossing the field he swayed marvellously out of time with her. He leant heavily on her tiny shoulders and laughed incoherently. The fence was slimy cold and they had to hurdle It with increasing effort as they climbed each wooden barrier. Jon had lost his way dramatically and fell over the top to land in an awkward slump on the other more lighter side. He reached out to her and babbled something quietly. The night had reached his bones and he was deliriously pissed. She left him for a while to wander around alone, erratically stranded from pillar to post at the daunting party. Men were slunk, or should I say young boys, skulled edgily on the parameters of the anicks walls, smoking big tusks of dirty smoke into their bristly lungs. Hooded attire shrouded their pretty babe faces from view, and they got up infrequently to loud the bass or change the dodgy techno tune halfway though to another, equally sad repetitive beat. She felt downhearted. This was clearly a crap party. The people hated each other and had their separated clans. Luckily her friend arrived and they howled and spun outside in circles to their own music chosen by themselves. For a short while, anyway. Till he came back towards her, and by now she’d drunk quite a few of the free beers. Her giddy excitement rushed upwards as he just came straight into her space and pulled her into his arms. His legs wrapped cone shape to support her own heels and he kissed her in that awful strangling way again. 'Enough!' She said and dragged him to the black car, waiting silently on the driveway. Her friend was abandoned and she took him inside the small space to try and speak or maybe share a cigarette and some warmth. He kind of sat stupidly slow with brain washed liqueur drooling out as the few words he would utter. His mad cap was stuck to his head and let out a few tufts of hair. He couldn’t look at her. She was so pretty, and smart. Cute and energetic. He didn’t want to spoil her. She should just leave him alone he thought. I’m no good for this girl. And so he tried to maybe warn her in a way that his life was random and intentions rarely stayed for very long. All of this he composed to her through the silence that he perpetuated in her confused awkwardness rising. She jabbered funnily to him and sweetly kept checking to see if he could hear her under his hat and hair. If she touches me again, he thought. I’m going to have to hold her. She’s talking quite a lot, [too much] and I’m very drunk. I can tell that now. The air conditioning is whirling in my head and my jaw feels slack. He sucked inwards, the saliva in his mouth drew in and swallowed down and he turned to look at her. His face said it all. She saw the way his eyes looked as if they were shaking his head, in ‘no’ gestures. As if he was saying to her, don’t ask for it because I wont remember what happens. Sure, I’ll go along with it and probably you’ll get some part of me come out in unexpected sexual heat. But I am telling you now. It’s not going to be pretty. All of this again, came from the silence in his barely available eyes. But they carried on anyway sharing small gestures of being there. Digging out lighters and smoothly sucking in smoke of green delightful tastes. She couldn’t bear it anymore. He was too quiet and indecisive, she wanted sex. She wanted heat and pumping rivers of raw strumming. She started to take off her clothes and let him sit pretending for a moment not to watch. But he was. And then he thought, so what?, this girl is crazy, she can take it. She can have it if she wants. He drew in on the spliff with crackling force. His eyes brightened and sharpened immediately to see her better. As if another person came alive within that car, he easily took of his hat, and jacket, he undid his belt without a hitch and looked up feverently again to see what she was doing. She only had her bra on, her shoes had pushed each other off and the low-slung cotton hipsters left little to the imagination. Her pants were always poking out to be seen. It was the fashion. She had hardly moved towards him when he clambered into the back, taking her with him by the arms. She fell on to him and he made sure that she did. She was sitting on his legs wide open as he lay back on the backseat middle, holding her naked hips and stroking her back to find the clip. When it came into his hands he just ripped, no point it fucking about he thought. The tearing sound also yanked on her chest; the bra lifted momentarily high and the wire underneath pulled onto her nipples. As it tore off he brought his body round again to sit a little higher and took the rest of the black lace off her shoulders. ‘Okay, he said, I’ve got this and this'; he retrieved two golden sachets from his pocket. And she gasped as if they were not real ‘Where from?’ she asked earnestly. ‘Bill gave them to me, he’s a friend’ he hummed in a distanced tone. His mind was on a different wavelength now. He gave them to her and then looked blankly at her waiting for her to take her cue and undo the shiny wrapping, take out the rubbery thing and push it onto his ******. ‘Come on.’ he eased her with puppy love and gentle coercion. She didn’t say anything but shook down his blue jeans and let him be aroused by her bending down to do that, she let him be wide mouthed as she took her head down and palmed it on with her mouth following to take it further. He waited not at all when it had been done and heaved her up with a sudden strength to move her legs on top. She relished the touch, his ****’s end was pleading to go further and she slunk down upon it in opening reverie. The slow suction shuddered them both into pleasurable wariness of their movements. He groaned upwards as she whined down. This is it, they both thought… ‘Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, this is it’ --------------------------------------------------------------- thanks if you read that, i was hoping you might tell me how the style feels to you? is it enjoyable or slow? easy enough to understand? descriptive enough?!
i enjoyed reading this, so ill give ya some feedback, i thought that it captured the whole teenage party scene rather nicely, it may just be that im a little hungover from my own night of partying last night but i found it somewhat hard to read. although i wouldnt change the style one bit, i felt it had a good tone. i hope that you can gain something from my feedback. much love and happiness towards you. good luck and continue writing. if you want anymore opinions or just want to talk i would love to hear from you, my AIM address is happyinside921. hope i helped.
hello there! im glad you liked it! some people have read this but not replied...maybe they didnt like it! or something... thanks for the feedaback t is helpful...i need to make my writing more clear o understand...you're not the only one to say that..so thanks again p.s much love and happiness to you too party person!
Once again you've surpassed yourself Keramptha. Your style is escalating at a rapid rate. I loved the perception and insight of your writing. You kept the sexual tension hanging on a tightrope. Loved it.
