Not sure where to put this, but please help!

Alright, well basically ill give it to you in short version. Im 18 years old. I will be 19 on June 30th of this year and i will be graduating in about 2 weeks from highschool. I have no job, though im VERY open to working. I smoke marijuana....my parents just now found out about this and oviously (being drug detox councelors) their views were set before they even knew. So yea oviously they dont want it to happen. To problem is that its my life, and its causing no problems with anything but themselves and thats just not important enough anymore. Sounds bad but they brought it to that. Anyways. Atfer i graduate from highschool they told me i must move out. They said they werent paying for my college, or support me any bit financially. So basically they leave me with the shirt on my back and say, "hey have a good life, hope you dont die." they took my car away so im not sure how i could get to work even if i had a job. So anyways. I have no problem living outdoors or in a small tent or something. What should i do. What can i do?

 

Go to your local co-op or university, check out the "roommate wanted" adds on their bulletin board.

Find a job -- (maybe at the co-op!)

Once housed and employed, reassess your situation and formulate some longer-range plans.

 

Dark,
Sounds like my predicament some 36 years ago! First thing to do? Found a job and a place to stay-nothing to boast of but hey-got me on my own for the first time. Next...school? Well I would recommend trade school for most people-college is overprice and overrated and-unless you have something you must do-a waste of time and money. Trade schools are the most expeditious means of getting into a reasonable to good paying profession.
Your parents seem to have confused you with a crack or meth user that they blew you off so totally. As "educated people" they should know that pot is not all that serious (and certainly less physically harmfull than alchohol!). Ah well-I assume their objections to be ideological? I hope you don't find yourself doing self destructive and crazy things to lash out at them like I did. Everybody's situation is different but some I know never had anything to do with their families of orgin again after blow offs like the one you just described. Me? Well I certainly never trusted them again and always saw them as ignorant trolls, but we did get along at family functions after a fashion.
Good luck to you,
Tundrahopper4

 

Dark,
There are 'Communes' around that you could stay at while you went to 'school' although some of them charge a fee now, I'm sure alot of them will trade work for room and board till you get on your feet. Also if you are rueal maybe you could hire out as a farmhand and get room and board and maybe a little cash.
Your parents need a refesher course in compassion and understanding and above all they need to show a little LOVE LOVE LOVE.
I hope you find your way.

 

well basically its like this. My dad in his time was a legal drug detox councelor but ended up stopping his profession because he was tired of seeing the druged out adicts that allways came through the door looking for treatment. My mom, is now the main boss of the place she works at, which is a pretty known detox facility named The Watershed. She and my father are both "maximum and no exceptions punishment" followers and will push me to their very last breathe to stop me from smoking or doing any type of drug. You see ive been down the road of addiction. From cocaine to meth.. and ill tell you one thing, if i have learned anything from all of that, its that i should be carefull and CONSIOUS about the choices i take in doing recreational drugs. I never want to lead that type of life again, and im lucky to have had friends that took me out of that slum. So now about a year later ive based myself to stickly pot. It has been the only substance that has, to this day, caused no problems with anything BUT my nazi mother and father. Anyways what im trying to say is that they tell me that im going to go down the path to destruction but to be perfectly honest...i already have, and i know what not to do to get myself into those situations. Anyways my parents do need to find a way to build compassion in their hearts, because you dont just throw your flesh and blood out on the streets with just the clothes on their back, because they decide to put smoke into their lungs...i mean its unresonable and rediculous. Im looking for a job and i hope things work out. They suggested a halfway house for a short time, so i can get my feet on the ground before stepping out into the world. Which is really not too bad of an idea. I mean i dont NEED marijuana to be happy and i dont NEED marijuana to live. If they do follow through with that plan, then ill be clean for as long as i stay there while working and saving up money to get out on my own. Thatd probably be best. But anyways im rambling. Thanks for yalls support, keep it coming

 

just get a job that pays good and save up. you can go to college in a year, it wont matter. a friend of mine has the same problem only his parents let him use his truck but only to go to work and school. otherwise once school gets out, hes kicked out.

 

Its amazing how families will turn their backs on each other during a crisis.

Some of it is probably based on embarrasment and guilt..."if I'm such a great councelor,
how did my child slip through my fingers?"

Sounds like maybe you need to sit down with your mom and maybe approach it from that point of view. Just ask her if this is making her question her abilities. And let her know that it wouldn't have mattered what she did or did not do that you have a mind of your own and you are willing to be responsible for your own choices.

Ask what they are willing to help you with, if they say "nothing" then at least you know that they choose to keep a wall between you.
Taking an 'all,or nothing' approach is very rigid in my opinion, and they are leaving no room for you to grow and make your mistakes and learn from them.

If you are serious about going to school then you will find a way, and just start taking steps in that direction, maybe they will come around when they see the efforts you are making to be in control of your life.
You make your own priorities, if school is number 1 on your list then be willing to give up things that are standing in your way, if getting high is number 1, then be willing to give up things that will make you give up getting high.
Those choices are yours.
I have no problem with pot (I love pot)...but if it was preventing me from achieving other things I wanted that I couldn't have without it, I would consider putting it on the backburner (lol) for awhile.

Tell them that you have been thinking alot about this, and you need to know if there is any chance of a comprimise. And then tell them what you are willing or not willing to do.

Good luck sweetie, and just remember, it is a tough world out there, we all need all the support and help we can get from our friends and family.
Teepi

 

we here at the farm are always open to folks like you coming and helping out till ya get something stable set up..

please feel free to check out our website and if your interested in coming and helping out while ya sort thru your options wed be happy to have you...

Slackers need not apply..

 

Thirty + years ago I moved into a commune -- curiously called "The Farm" -- after I left college.

Just how many "Farm" communes are there?

 

we are not a commune ,, we are a working farm that we have set up as a way station for the vagabonds travelers and the lost and lonely of this world..

25 years ago folks did much the same for me and made 7 years on the road a lot kinder than it could have been and i am eternily grateful and will never stop giving back..

if youd like to see what we are all about just click on the link in my sig..

Dilligaf is going to be updating it for a while this morning,probably into early afternoon so it may be down for a bit,,but just check back this evening and it should be all updated and refreshed..

Luv~N!Lite
hilly dilli and clan..

 

Sorry, then. I stand corrected.

I like the pictures. Your farm looks great!

 

no reason to be sorry brother,, tis a mistake folks make all the time..

We figured out a long time ago that anything more than a 60 day stay winds up creating your typical family issues,, so we dont accept long term residents anymore..
tis better that way everyone gos away with love in there hearts and the desire to revisit us..

Im surprised it was up,, usually when dilli is workin ya cant get into most of it..
tis a good rainy day project for her,, and there are lots of long overdue updates being done..
Be sure an check back later,, will be pics from when the katuah tribe had spring council here etc..

me im downloadin games and browsing the forums,, was gonna cut wood today but the weather man was a day late on his forcast for rain.. so thats the way it gos...

 

Dark,
If you have a previous history with other drugs maybe u need to stay away from them totally. I smoke pot but never did anything heavier. Your parents are just concerned about you. You being soo young maybe u should listen. Family is more important then any drug. When I was your age I had something similar happen to me. The difference is lost alot of my parents trust. It took years to gain it back. I earned my dads trust 3 months before he died. It took 5 years to gain it back, he always loved me but I could always see the look of disappointment in his eyes. Until I returned to college and got an A my first semster. All Im saying is think about what is more important in the long run.

 

the issue isnt getting high over my parents. The issue is the way of life i am choosing to pursue. My family has a major problem with trust. Not only because of my issue with drugs, but trust in general. My family has to know..

1)where i am, at every given moment
2)who im with at every given moment
3)what their parents names are
4)they wish to speak w/them to see if its alright for them to be out w/me
5)how much its all going to cost
6)when im going to be home
7)how im getting there
8)how im getting home
9)if there will be people there in charge to watch over our activities
10)and they wish to speak with them to confirm...

now imagine being close to a month away from being 19 years old, and still having to answer to every one of those needs.As well as having to be home at 11:30pm on weekdays, and 1am on weekends, and not being ALLOWED to smoke ciggarettes (even though im about to be 19),curse,have sex, wear "unapealing" clothing, or listen to "unapealing" or drug related music. They pick up the phone when i get a phone call and listen to our entire conversation. They listen through the door to figure out what im doing and what im talking about. They read my notes to friends that i have written or have been written to, they look through my school backpack to check my grades and anything incriminating, they have a calander that they got from my school that tells them every single event in my school and every date that a progress or report card is given, and has the nerve to tell me "oh look, it looks like a report cards coming up, dont forget to give it to us" as if i didnt know, they sneak up behind me to see what im looking at or typing on the computer (probably behind me now), wouldnt let me wear hemp necklaces because it condoned the use of marijuana,give me random drug tests in which they listen in on the door to make sure nothing is going on, they time the amount of time i use to take the drug test, and restrict me from friends or girlfriends they feel are inapropriate to be around, and took away a truck that they gave me as a christmas present....

now i dont know about any of you...but this is a hell of alot to deal with on a daily basis. in fact, its alot to deal with on a monthly basis. i know i live under their roof, but come on...this is rediculous.

hippiehillbilly: i have check out the farms website and it looks amazing. Im assuming that there is a very freespirited group of people living there, and that gives me hope. I have allways been open to new ways of life, and just recently have been considering the option of communal living. I understand that your farm really isnt a commune and thats fine. I am very interested in yall's establishment and would love to know more information. Sometimes i feel like thatd be the best life for me, and sometimes i feel like i need to stay here. its all such a big decision, because this is my life you know. Im still hanging on the idea but id LOVE to know much more information of the farm

 

only 3 here full time brother,, an we fight babylon everyday..once again we are not a commune ,, just a waystation for wayward souls..

life as you dream it is much harder than you could ever imagine..(unless its your calling and its in your soul)

there is no more information on our world than whats on our site.

We have chose to build a dream and have a open invite for all who are willing to contribute to wander in and out..

it eases the burden when we have strong young backs here,, and wed like to think we are giving something back to those who visit..

I dont articulate well in this world,, and ive been known to be acused of antagonizin etc.. dilligaf articulates to well an has been acussed of the same..

only thing i can say is the doors open,, come see for yourself..

Luv~N~Lite..
hilly dilli an clan

 

oh an iffin ya speakin of the commune that was once the farm but now is a joke,, heres the link..


http://www.thefarm.org/index.html

this old "city kid" was there in its hayday,, when there was a 1000 vagabonds livin a dream



his last visit he said theres 200 full time an they want 6 bucks for a meal and 20 bucks a day for a campsite..
communal living in the united states is a joke young man...

tis why we dont claim to be a commune..

communal livin in the united states is all about makin a profit an decent life for the elders on the land..

wich aint all that bad if they wouldnt try an say its equal, cause it aint..

N~E~way,, theres ya link to "THE FARM"..

An theres the truth in my minds eye about it...