advice AKA heres me sounding like a 3rd grader

But its an honest question: I'm usually really open and cool with stuff. Theres a guy ive been crushing on for a really long time... pretty much before i knew him i thought he was a cutie, and we got to know each other and we get along really well. Were friends, we have great conversations and have tons of fun together, we can always make each other laugh. I think im pretty damn obvious that i like him, because i just see no reason to hide it. Hes more confusing though. I'm good at reading people- sometimes he acts really flirty and just extremely obvious that hes interested. Other times he just seems like he wants nothing to do with me. Were friends enough that i cant just say 'gee theres physical contact, he likes me' because (hes taller than me- much taller) he often uses me as an armrest, or just touches me while talking... actually touches me a lot (that sounds dirty. haha).. So more or less im confused whether were friends or hes flirting. ANYWAY

So i guess this is where im asking guys for their opinion: I'm planning on (once im not working wth him anymore) asking him out. Just a simple "do you want to go out sometime" but if he doesnt like me as more than buddies and i get a big fat rejection- will it be akward? Would i completely lose the friendship? I know personally- ive had friends ask me out and i didnt care. I'm still friends with the people. But thats just me, everyone is different and guys and girls are different... So please respond with past experience or your personal opinions.

Also- his older sis (who also used to work there) is a close friend of mine. Would that be akward. I'm closer with her, but im friends with both and theyre like best friends. I know before i was close with the sis she always said her bro and i would be a cute couple... But im not sure if it would be akward now. Anyone ever have a sibling date a friend or date a sibling of a friend themselves? I mean, i feel that if i was rejected- hed tell her and it would be weird. If he said yes- it would be weird.

DAMN HORMONES/EMOTIONS. haha

I feel so... immature asking for this advice- its just that im a big believer in following my gut and dont want to destroy two friendships in the process, so im torn.

Thanks (and dont laugh at me too hard )

 

and i know this is easy to just respond with a simple 'its dependant on the people/situation' i know that. i guess im asking more for advice based on past experiences or whatever. I guess im not sure what im looking for. Whatever you have to say will be valued i guess

 

C'mon, be brave, i think you'll keep friendship if you don't hurt each other, when you are really friends, i think it doesn't matter, you just can say the things, you don't have to hide anything, no hurting is the solution. So, i think you should tell him, be sure that he's wondering the same as you but it's probably that he doesn't dare because he doesn't want to be rejected and make you think something weird about him, but I think he also wants it.

 

Hmmm...I'll have to agree with migle. If your feelings for him are this strong, then you owe it to yourself to find out what he's thinking. In the past I was in a similair situation, and was too scared to speak out. I wasted so much of my time always wondering and never knowing. It even made me question my sanity at times because the trepidation really began gnawing at me. In hindsight, I should have spoken up earlier and found out the way she felt. But, I was also scared of rejection.

You'll never know what could happen if you don't go for what you want. Sounds like you have the right idea about asking him out. Try to be somewhat casual about it, and just enjoy yourself. If he's truly a good friend, then even if he may not share the same feelings, he won't let something like this affect your friendship.

There's nothing worse than always wondering "what if". Trust me. In my case, after I finally revealed my feelings, I later realized I was better off just being friends. Sure, the rejection was uncomfortable for a little bit, but we worked through it and remain great friends til this day.

Go for it. Either way, knowing how he feels can lift a great weight off of your shoulders.

Peace & Good Luck

 

Go for it and if he says no, don't dwell. It would only wreck you friendship if you dwell. But by all means, go go go.