Gin is an Abomination onto the Lord!

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Let it be known that I, in my glorious wisdom and impeccable taste in intoxicating beverages, do hereby declare that gin is an abomination unto the Lord. Furthermore, I hereby declare that all of England is forever cursed for inventing such a deplorable beverage and that Scotland, for their glorious contribution to the world in their invention of whisky, is hereby an independant nation and is to no longer be associated with England and their filthy gin. If they wish to avoid nuclear annihilation, England must henceforth shut down all production of that vile drink they call gin, and if they wish to avoid vicious trade sanctions they must double their nation's production of English ales within a year, since English ales are beverages of acceptable quality.

This has been an official declaration of Jesuswasamonkey, undisputed dictator of the Sol planetary system.

Thank you, and good night.

 

Hahaha, well said.
Can i just ask why your so against gin? (apart from the fact that it tastes like poisonous Trees and helps you NOT remember the next morning!) LOL

 

I'll be sure to get absolutely hammered off of a big bottle of gin tonight just for you

 

Why am I against gin?

Well, like you said, it tastes like poisonous trees and seems to have a more detrimental effect on brain function than most beverages, but not in a good way.

You do so at your own detriment, but don't let me stop you from spending your hard-earned money on an inferior beverage that will wreck your brain and tastes like poisonous berries soaked in turpentine.

 

Gin is part of a foolproof hangover cure, 1 part gin, 2 parts lager.......sounds horrible but it works.

I named it the Maria Louisa after my wifes 75 year old aunt who introduced me to it.

 

I have to agree with the Lord for this one time.

Don't get used to it.

 

Really? I particualarly like Gin..... pine needles.... mmmmmmmm.

Not as much as I used to, just because yes, it can fuck your world up if not drinken in moderation... most definitly a social sipper drink.

 

one time we accidentally made a huge mess of jello-shots with a cheap handle of gin...we thought it was a cheap handle of vodka (already too drunk to notice the label!) ... WHOOPs! it was gross.

 

I've never had gin before, the one thing I have yet to taste...

 

haha... gin and tonic is one of my all time favourites!

i'll have to remember that 'poisonous berries soaked in turpentine' bit though; too funny...

 

scratch that, I have had gin, it was so awful I had to forget it..yet it still haunts me...I had the gin and juice...than gin straight...so twice...ewww

 

Life without Gin....it pains one to think of such an abberrent life...I love it...bruised Martinis or Silver Bullets, and my consciousness is not long for this world!

But I do have to agree, there are few drinks that can mess one's world up so completely, so quickly!

 

Henrick's Gin...I hated all gin since one bad night in denver w/ a bottle of bombay but henrick's gin is amazing...it'll make a gin lover out of any body

 

Bombay Sapphire is my choice. I usually drink a Greyhound (gin & grapefruity juice).

 

Gin is great. Tastier than whisky. I like it's "modern" type taste (as opposed to whisky and other stuff, like rum).
One drinking day I drank only gin and I never thought once "OMG I'm so sick of this taste".

 

My hat is off to your wife's aunt, who obviously believes in the power & might of the distilled dicotion of the bitter juniper berry. I can't see how mixing any type of boiler-maker could cure anything but feeling well. And I still recall my 18th birthday & the 3.2 beer my buddies were pouring gin & vodka into when my eyes were on the dancers, but after regurgitating in every room of the house & a three day hangover--(folks on vacation! I can hold one truth to be self-evident: Never mix distilled & fermented beverages!

Liquor before beer, never fear; beer before liquor, never sicker. And a boiler maker is the latter. Unless this was her emetic.

However, I have found through years of apologizing to my liver that a megadose of Vitamin C the day before; a decent amount of food with the drink & copious amounts of water during the night-after prevents the morning-after & all the kidney destroying Advil you have to take to feel better.

And if I ignore the first two, a lot of water, I mean sipping a quart or more during 8 hours of your, "I'm gonna have a hangover tomorrow-unrestful sleep" will rehydrate your stir-fried brain to where you don't have headache or nausea & your boss will never know what a piss-poor job you feel you're stuck in so that you have to drink yourself half to death several times a week hoping you someday won't wake up to the same mundane reality.

 

Why do you say Jesus was a Monkey, when you are a drunken imbecile who has no sense? Imagine that you're lying by the side of the road someday & have to call on Him, cause there's nobody else around--you're gonna need it!"

 

Hell, I like monkeys a lot better than people. They may be a little uncouth, but they don't give a fuck about all of the stupid shit people fight over all the time. And they don't drink gin, although some monkeys have been known to steal rum drinks at tropical resorts, and there is a troop of chimps that has been documented brewing their own primitive wine, but no monkey, however deviant, has ever made gin. They're allright with me.

Besides, I'm a firm believer that if there is a god, it isn't the pompous egomaniac that all of those silly books make it out to be.

Now please, what does your little outburst have to do with the subject at hand? Have you been drinking gin or something?

 

Not since high school partying off parents' stash. Still I hope to get righteously shit-faced with God one of these days on pure whatever they drink, & you are certain-fuckingly invited. It sounds like you belong somewhere else. If you show up you are absolved of all bullshit...

 

Sorry Osama, but I just don't buy the same bullshit you do. If there is a god who is such a dick as to punish people for their beliefs, I do not want to spend an eternity with the asshole. If there is a god who created all in existence so that he could have his ego stroked by inferior beings, I will not bow to such a small-minded prick.

And I certainly do not appreciate hostile attempts to sell me bullshit.

I don't buy bullshit, I make my own. Please take your evangelical dickmongering over to the Philosophy and Religion forum, it will probably be much more welcome there.

This thread is about gin, which is a loathsome abomination, fit to be purged from the earth forever for being such an inferior beverage.

Holy-christ-fucking-his-father. I hate gin.

Nasty, nasty stuff.

In my book there are two offences punishable by a swift kick to the groin(assuming you are male and not castrated, otherwise the punishment will be a facefull of mace); evangelical dickmongering, and slipping me gin unawares. Offering me gin is only punishable by pouring the gin on your head and calling you an abomination, but the third offence will result in a swift kick to the groin.