This Girl...She's Incredible

swwetheart, forget her. she's not worth your time. Dont go with someone who doesn't know what they want. Go out and get what you want.

 

wow...wierd, like a trip of some kind... good story for a movie though-at least a book
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED

 

how's it going with you now??? I sooo much wanna know...please tell me more!!!!!!
luv, take care & enjoy life...

 

I'm sorry but seriously, tell her to go fuck herself. Don't let her walk all over you. She doesn't no what she wants and don't you spend time trying to help her figure it out. Leave her alone, forget about her and move on. I know it's not that easy, but believe me I've been in a similar situation and I just kept crawling back to her everytime she needed me and it just leaves you bitter.

 

An exacto knife in a tire will make you feel better.

 

-sigh-

My friend Jaimie (Liz's friend too) had an end-of-the-school-year party today. And Liz was there. I pulled her aside to talk. I asked her why she broke up with me, and she told me she likes this other guy named John. -sigh- She doesn't even know if he likes her back, and I hope he doesn't. lol, I know that's a horrible thing to say.

Urgh. And after Jaimie's party, we all went to see Star Wars. And afterward when Liz's dad came to pick her up she gave my friend Haley a hug, walked right past me, gave everyone else a hug, and left. And I just stood there like a loser watching her leave with tears in my eyes.

I don't know. I'm just so lost and confused right now. I've never felt this much hurt before in my entire life. And I can't cope with it very well. -sigh-

 

ok, she's a real &^%$*......this really makes me mad......
she just seems to like prancing all over everyone else to make herself feel better. That hug thing was REALLY immature. I know how that woulda felt. Just keep your head up.

 

I talked to Liz today. =\ I've had a really hard time accepting the fact that we're really broken up. It happened so all-of-a-sudden. I'm not ready to let her go. And I know I should...but I just like her so incredibly much.

(i'm earthflower, she's peanutbutter4311)

peanutbutter4311: are you mad at me?
earthflowersoul: not really
peanutbutter4311: not really? =(
earthflowersoul: =\
peanutbutter4311: whatever....
earthflowersoul: okay...=\
peanutbutter4311: ...
peanutbutter4311: i mean
peanutbutter4311: its not like you don't have the right to be freakishly mad at me
peanutbutter4311: if i were you i wouldn't even be talking to me right now
earthflowersoul: liz...i can't be mad at you
earthflowersoul: i just want you to be happy, even if it's not with me
earthflowersoul: and yes i'm upset, but i'd be happy just to be your friend
peanutbutter4311: okay...
peanutbutter4311: = (
peanutbutter4311: i just feel like a dickhead
earthflowersoul: don't, it's okay
peanutbutter4311: okay..
earthflowersoul: =\

It took me a long while to be able to say that and mean it. Many sleepless nights. I've been thinking about her nonstop. And I can't help but think...that maybe she still likes me. It's probably just my own wishful thinking. But, it kind of seems like she broke up with me because being with that guy would be easier. Her parents are homophobic and we live in the south. So, many dirty looks and hateful comments have come our way. And I talked to all my bisexual friends and they said they probably would choose a guy over a girl just because the relationship is easier. I mean, it does sort of seem like she still likes me. I'm probably just imagining it though. -sigh-

I don't know. I just...I need her. I really do. I need her in my life.

 

I'm very sorry you're having to go through this. I hope Liz gets her shit straightened out too.

 

There is an old song by The Carpenters called Breaking Up Is Hard To Do. Karen Carpenter's beautiful soprano voice singing those sad lyrics makes, at least for me, them sound much happier, so more sweet than sad.

I think of that when I have someone break up with me. It is one of the songs on my list of songs that I play with tears streaming down my cheeks as I'm having the wake of the relationship that hs just died.

I'm not saying that you have to raid your parent's old 8-tracks to find the song to hear it although it may help you the way it does me, I can't say...

The reason I do bring it up though is just the juxtaposition I mentioned earlier. The concept of breaking up is just plain gut wrenching. The lyrics convey that very well. Her singing & even the orchestration of the song are so beautiful though that it is a reminder to me that this really isn't the end of the world, even though it may seem like it.

Something I also remember is what Confucius said when asked what to do about children. (OK, a little off but this fits). He said, "Love them & let them go."

I'm sure that you have already had many good crys & your own wake for this relationship. I see that she actually broke up with you about a week ago. They are important. Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't cry about a relationship that ends. It is so healthy & needs to be done. Let the tears fall like rain & wash clean your soul so the sunshine of a new love can come in. It will, believe me. In what little I actually know about you, I know that you will be able to find someone that is right for you. You are a good person with a wonderful spirit. It all shows through in your writing.

I would suggest that you do remain friends with her. You are going to have to see her in school & that will make it just that much easier. Who knows when she matures more she may get her head out of her tush & figure out that she can love someone of the same sex even if her Mommy & Daddy don't approve. It eventually happens to most healthy non-heterosexuals.

I hate cliché` sayings but there is 2 that I never can avoid in a break up.

• She isn't the only fish in the sea. There are plenty more, even better.
• When one door is closed another always opens.

They both are actually about the same thing but one is on the personal level & the other is more on the situational level. Looking optimistically, you will be able to find another person who is better able to love the you that is you & more capable of handling a love that is the way you need it.

I will end this likely too long message by saying. I don't think that she is your match. You & her are in different places spiritually. I think that everyone has someone that is. You just haven't found the one for you yet. Smile & look around so you can find that person.

 

Snowdancer, that was just so beautiful! I had tears in my eyes and everything! haha
But snowdancers is right, you should cry, it's the best thing if you're feeling down. The days and even weeks after you brakeup with someone are just the worst.. and crying really does help. It isn't a sign of weakness like some people say, crying is a part of getting over someone. So it's only healthy!
I know it might seem like it's the end of the world, but it really isn't. Some day, maybe when you least expect it, you'll meet someone knew. Right know, it might not seem possible, but it is, and it will happen! At least you can be happy that you did get a little time to spend with her, that's something right?
I wish you all the best love, and don't worry, there's someone out there for you

 

Wow, thanks Snowdancer and everyone. Thank ya'll so much. You've really helped me through this hard time. Today Liz and a bunch of our friends went bowling. And afterward she invited me to the movies with her. Just me. And, of course, I was thinking "ohmygod! maybe she's going to kiss me or something." But, she didn't. I wanted to put my arm around her so much. But, I didn't want her to be like "wtf are you doing." So, yeah. I think we're definitely just friends now. Good friends, though.

I've forgiven her for screwing me over so much. That's all a person can do, really. Holding grudges isn't good. And I've accepted the fact that we're at different points spiritually and emotionally. My heart will always be open to her though. Maybe someday she'll fall in love with me. But, definitely no time soon.

Again, thank you guys so much!!

 

that's awsome to hear that you guys are friends now. that sounds like it's the very best for both of you.
all the best luck to you

 

go for it!! age has no mattter when it comes to the heart. grab onto this girl!! good luck!

 

Hey guys. Sorry for dragging my depressing story on so long. I just need a place to let out my feelings.

It turns out that Liz likes my brother. And he likes her too. But, he's still getting over his ex-girlfriend and needs some time. Liz is all depressed. And I'm her shoulder to cry on. Even though everytime she mentions my brother, my heart breaks into a million more pieces. I just want to be here for her.

peanutbutter4311: i can't think of one guy who thinks i'm pretty.
earthflowersoul: guys don't know anything
peanutbutter4311: so...if they don't think your pretty they won't want to date you
peanutbutter4311: i'm gonna be alone forever
earthflowersoul: no you won't...=(
earthflowersoul: you'll find someone
peanutbutter4311: yeah right..
peanutbutter4311: i always have dreams i meet some famous guy in a band at a concert and we live together happily ever after
peanutbutter4311: yeah i'm stupid, i know
earthflowersoul: no you're not
earthflowersoul: okay, if i know anything about love
earthflowersoul: i know that...it's impossible to love someone who doesn't love themself
peanutbutter4311: ...
earthflowersoul: =\
peanutbutter4311: i'm just scared that no one likes me
earthflowersoul: i know atleast one person who likes you...
peanutbutter4311: you?
earthflowersoul: -blush-
earthflowersoul: maybe
peanutbutter4311: = )
peanutbutter4311: ...
peanutbutter4311: so, umm
peanutbutter4311: what's up?

I don't know what to think. She just kind of...changed the subject. I don't think she likes me back. But, gosh do I like her. I like her so much I'm willing to let my heart break over and over again just to be her friend. It's terrible. I don't know anything anymore. My feelings are just so jumbled up. I'm just kind of...numb. The only thing I feel is my overwhelming desire to be close to her.

 

My heart hirts for you doll. I am sorry to say you really need to drop this girl. She is walking all over you just to hurt you.