hey all, i haven't posted on here for ages, but i could do with some constuctive criticism peace x [font="]Frozen[/font] [font="]A shattered shell of painted shadow, No breath, No life, No love, No soul. No flowers grow here anymore; This garden is dead. The songbird long since fell from his bough, And I from mine. Bound and broken, a rag-doll cast aside, A crumpled bundle shrinks to the ground. Alone. Alone, Tears on ice the only sound. No stars to guide, No candles burn, Only Winters indigo sky, Glacial waters grip the heart.[font="] No hope. No fear. Alone. [/font][/font]
I really really like this! It paints a picture in my mind of a wild overgrown garden with thorns and stuff and some beautiful maiden in a white dress all alone and sad. its really atmospheric, yay i like it a lot!
Regeneration Eastern clouds part, dissolved by pink rays; Silver shred silk tinged with crimson. Cold slumber will pass, awoken by dawn, The earth silently breathes. Old songs fade as fresh promises call, Blood flows through frozen veins. All things must heal at the coming of spring, Crumpled wings must find strength to take flight. Pale skin shivers as cold tears meet the air, A spirit reborn, A light afar, Indigo skies shimmer in flame; Flowers of fire melt the heart, A grieved soul remains untamed. [font="]I actually wrote this one as counter to the one above, I don’t much like it, I think its clichéd, maybe its because I didn’t really feel it when I wrote it, anyhoo, dissect away [/font]
