He's threatened me once....is that a bad sign?

I just got done watchin Oprah and her show was on battered women. She said all the signs n stuff. All this stuff ive heard b4..but it got me thinking. I am torn between staying with my boyfriend and not. I really dont think we will be together much longer...but still want to know opinions. He has an anger problem and supposedly its gotten better (more like hes holding it in now). He threatened me once that he would hurt me if I didnt turn around and look at him and he has called me a B**** a couple times. We have been together for over a year...he has never hit me though. It seems he has reformed from his old ways...but i am not sure if it could be done that easily. He still gets so angry he gets destructive...though not around me anymore...but then again we dont see each other as much. My father was abusive to my mother while they were married...maybe thats why I am attracted to these kinda guys. I am afraid that if i did stay with this guy...his old self will resurface....it has leaked out little by little verbally, when we argue and such. My bf has anger issuses, is way over protective,jealous...etc. When he isnt this ugly mean person he is the greatest guy ever, so im a bit confused. Sometimes I am afraid of what would happen if I left him. Is what he has already done in the past (more than 6 months ago) a reason to still be afraid? Seeing the oprah show freaked me out. did anyone else see it....or has anyone had a bf like this?

 

It sounds like he tried to change for you. And he's really trying by holding it in and not being desctructive around you. I would give this guy more credit. Though, recommend he goes to anger managament. Give him a stress ball or something too.

 

Sounds like you know what you should do... Why wouldnt you be together much longer.. thats not a feeling you should have if you are happy with him or if things are going well...

 

i would never advocate any woman staying in an abusive relationship whether it be physical, emotional.....whatever. The fact that you are even worried about the potential for him to hurt you in some way or that you think you might have a reason to be afraid is very telling. i once got into a relationship with a guy that i had been friends with for a while. the very day we made it "official" we actually moved in together and that same day he started showing signs of being possesive, jealous(id never suspected it before at all) ......my exboyfriend had called me at our new number and he cut the phone cord so that i wouldnt be able to call him back like i said i would. i left then and there and then found out later that he used to hit his exgirlfriend. trust your intuition and do whats BEST FOR YOU. I wish you so much luck~

 

this has got to be just one of your 20 billion posts on this fella and his bad behaviour... What do you want, all of us to go "awww poor thing" every five freakin seconds. if hes so bad and you know it , that you cant talk about anything else, ditch him... if youre not going to, then just accept it and get over it.

simple man.

 

harsh retrogroove grrl,but kinda along the line of what i was thinking. You're obviously not happy with this guy and there is no way its going to last forever so leave him now. I know its hard and you'll miss the relationship stuff to begin with probably,but think about all the bad stuff and you're not happy at all. You will be happy without him! You can have fun and stop worrying and flirt with other guys and girls. I saw a post of your's saying you were going to break it off with him,i think you should go for it. Get rid! You are strong enough to do it.

 

yeah, i'd end that relationship if i were you.

if it seems like he's holding his anger in rather than expressing it constructively, and that might be a clear sign that he won't really get better. it sounds as if he's just bottling up the anger and you said he's destructive, though not around you, and that you hear his 'old self' leaking out, verbally... really, it sounds like he's just going to EXPLODE. the destruction he causes will eventually be around you, i doubt he'll keep it away from you forever.. and as for it being his 'old self' i would question if a change has actually taken place. but anyway, when he does explode, all of that anger he's been bottling up is going to come out.. so if i were you, i would leave him because it sounds like if he is going to get violent, then that time is fast approaching. if he's been mentally/emotionally/verbally abusive in the past, then there's no reason to stay with him even if he doesn't hit you.

on a side note, i think i might have seen that episode of oprah. i rarely watch tv, let alone oprah, so i kind of feel silly saying so . was that the one where the lady was shot in the face?

 

He has anger AND jealousy issues??

Oh shit. That's a BAD sign.

Don't submit your life and happiness to an infatuation which could potentially be dangerous to your health.