here I go again :(

Discussion in 'Women's Forum' started by Artsy_Adrienne, May 30, 2005.

  1. Artsy_Adrienne

    Artsy_Adrienne Member

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    About a month ago (May 5th) I had an abortion. Everything went smoothly, I followed all instructions, no complications. On the 20th I started having sex again. the sunday after my procedure I started taking Birth control (the 8th) Im supposed to get my period in the next few days and Im scared. On the birth control it said it would begin working within 7 days, the info the clinic gave said to wait a month, oviously I didn't wait a month, Ive only had sex twice, but Im still worried I don't know what the odds of being pregnant again are, any one have any advice please?
     
  2. icedteapriestess

    icedteapriestess linguistic freak

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    Why wouldn't you wait a month? The doctor told you to wait a month.

    My advice to you would be to get your head out of the clouds (or where ever else you head currently is). Use condoms, at the very least. If you can't manage to do that, then don't have sex.

    If you had sex then there is a chance you could be pregnant. If the man didn't wear a condom and actually ejactulated inside of you, then there is a greater chance you could be pregnant.
     
  3. twist1up4me

    twist1up4me Member

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    not to beat up on you girl, but why are you having sex so soon after putting yourself through that? i've been there, had the procedure & i know it doesn't seem to affect you all that much afterward. i know i hurt emotionally for a while, still do & it's been almost 9 years since my final procedure. why rush back into it especially if the clinic said wait. sex is not that important. love is & if you really love yourself then you should wait the suggested amount of time before jumping back on the bull. i hope you are o.k. i wouldn't want you to have to make that choice again. please, please be safe from here on out. even though b.c.p.'s say they are effective after 7 days the fine print also says you should wait 1 month for the full effect. take care of yourself girl.
     
  4. Co0kiezGurl

    Co0kiezGurl Banned

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    Oh hon, I hope you don't end up doing it again. You have got to be careful when you don't want babies. Either be careful or don't have sex. Always err on the side of caution and wait a month when starting BC again.
     
  5. RetroGroove_Grrl

    RetroGroove_Grrl I'm a big girl now

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    When in doubt babe, just don't!!!

    Its pretty silly that you havent learned your lesson after what you've already been through.

    Taking the advice you want to hear is never the best option. Especially since the person who told you to wait seven days was not a professional with medical knowledge and experience.

    Use condoms babe, they dont cost much and are worth 10 million times their weight in gold for the sheer peace of mind they can offer in one little plastic wrapper.

    Everyone makes mistakes, and these things happen, but if you made your choices, even though you knew better, you really only have yourself to blame.

    Keep your knees together babe until you've got it together enough to handle this sex business properly.
     
  6. innocentpoison333

    innocentpoison333 Member

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    Well said. Yeah like everyone else said just take it easy for a while. Sex isnt important theres other things you can do to keep you and your lover satisfied. It would be awful if you ended up getting pregnant again (although normaly pregnancy is a blessing), but since you dont want to get pregnant just dont have sex for awhile, unless you are at least using some kind of protection. Its better to be patient, then to rush into something that may have a bad outcome.
     
  7. Heat

    Heat Smile, it's contagious! :) Lifetime Supporter

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    Do you know the trauma that your body has gone through......do you wish to have it do so again.

    You are irresponsible. Once is a mistake, twice is stupidity.

    Abortion is not meant to be birth control.

    I have nothing against abortion and support freedom of choice. So that is not even the issue.
     
  8. velvet

    velvet Banned

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    hear hear..
    no offence.. but you're 19? You sure about that? Damn.. get some responsibility.. and quit the whining because you're the one in charge here..
     
  9. Wonder Girl

    Wonder Girl rhapsody in pink

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    I agree with Heat and Velvet,absolutely. Such irresponsibility is very sad,in my opinion.
     
  10. flyinglily

    flyinglily Member

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    Hi everybody!,
    I know that everyone here is trying to make Artsy_Adrienne understand that we, as women, must have more responsability , bodies are ours and we obviously should be careful with that. But I would like to say, we should also try to be more gentle to her when saying that, after all she is now worried and looking for some support ...yeah I know she could have done her mistakes but I mean, just try not to make her feel even worse now....I'm pretty sure she learned her lesson now...right Adrienne? :)
    We're all sisters , aren't we ? :)
    Sisters should be understanding with each other ;)
     
  11. Heat

    Heat Smile, it's contagious! :) Lifetime Supporter

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    No.....sensitivity came with her first post and not posting on it at all and understanding that we all make mistakes and respecting her right to choose what was right for her.

    That I do and did support with total understanding that we all make mistakes in judgement. Shit happens.

    Now is reality.....abortion is not birth control and going against medical advice is stupidity.

    Once is a mistake.....twice is stupidity.

    How many times do we read and understand before we say.....grow up.

    I think once is enough.

    Not downing a sister......just calling it as I see it.

    Anyone who then posts could I be in trouble again ......well, needs to grow up.

    If you are old enough to screw and to also get one abortion then you are old enough to prevent a second one.

    Take it or leave it. My opinion.
     
  12. maryjaneguitargurl

    maryjaneguitargurl I am just like you.

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    In my opinon a bad choice to be sexually active again however that soon. I think one time would have clicked but i guess not. I feel like you think its a form of birth control. That just doesnt make since to me why you would already be having sex after what happened. I agree that we should have pro choice but doesnt it upset you at all, but yet your having sex again?? whatever.. think of this word.."abstinence" it really helps.

    peace
    chickens
     
  13. xthevalkyriex

    xthevalkyriex Member

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    BC pills are effective after 7 days if you are a Sunday starter. The whole "wait a month" thing is bogus. I would think it would be normal to worry about another unwanted pregnancy so soon after having an abortion, but I would say you are not pregnant. BUT, if even being on the Pill is not enough for you, definitely use condoms as well. And going on the Pill IS a sign of responsibility; you felt (I hope!) you were ready again to have sex. There is nothing wrong with feeling sexual soon after an abortion (and of course there's nothing wrong with NOT feeling sexual after an abortion), as long as you take proper precautions.
     
  14. tigerlily

    tigerlily proud mama

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    you are much more likely to get pregnant after having been pregnant before... i agree with all the posts so far... with real concern i say, be very careful.
     
  15. Kastenfrosch

    Kastenfrosch Blaubeerkuchen!! Lifetime Supporter

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    I have read a statistic a few years ago, and it said something that women that aborted are very likely to become pregnant again in the following year. They explained it that there probably is a "wound" (psycologically) where the child had been, and that they want to make up for it.
     
  16. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    Val, two things. One, the newer BC pills DO require an entire month to become completely effective (the older higher dose pills didn't) but the other reason the OP was told to wait a month was that she had JUST had an abortion. An abortion leaves a wound in the cervix and in the uterus. Just like after childbirth, waiting to have sex is to help the womyn heal, and to prevent infection.
     
  17. lawngirl

    lawngirl Member

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    what brand of pill are you on?

    i take yasmin, and i hear it's a pretty popular brand now (it's "the #1 brand," so maybe you're on it too). according to my old gyno, yasmin is effective as soon as you start taking it if you're a day-1 starter. if you're a sunday starter, it takes 7 days.

    it might depend on your brand, and i'm not knowledgable on any brand other than the one i'm on. maggie, i'm not sure about the new/low-dose pills taking a month to become effective holding true all across the board, because yasmin is both new and a low dose of hormones. it's different from other birth control pills because it has drospirenone, which might be why it doesn't take a month to become effective?

    i'm not sure if/how changes due to a recent abortion might effect that, though. you should call your doctor.

    condoms are still good to use, though! the pill isn't 100% effective, and if you haven't been taking it long, you're probably not totally used to taking the pill at the same time every day. i'm not trying to judge, i'm just saying that it's easier to forget about the pill the first month you're on it. you might not think about it, especially at the same time every day, it takes a little getting used to. setting an alarm will really help with that, especially if you have a cell phone (it's like a portable alarm). think ahead, too.. if you've gotta take your pill while you'll be out running errands all day, make sure to bring them with you, or pack them if you're staying the night elsewhere. if you're going away for a few days and will need a refill while you're out, remember to get that refill before you leave town. things like that. so condoms are not only good for making sure that your brand has you covered already, but they're good backup while you're getting used to taking the pill. well, they're good backup all around, not to mention the pill doesn't do anything to protect you from stds.
     
  18. xthevalkyriex

    xthevalkyriex Member

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    OK, thanks for clarifying :) I still don't think there is anything wrong with having sexual feelings soon after an abortion, but you are right, intercourse should have been avoided.
     
  19. velvet

    velvet Banned

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    This whole thing is why I think that after having an abortion (unless it's after rape) BC should be obligatory for at least 2 years or sth.. you can get BC shots at the doctor once every 3 months or get 'implanon' (little tube inserted in your arm) or the thing that they put in your womb (dunno the english word).. stuff like this really pisses me off.. how can someone who has an abortion be a good mom a year later? Again, rape would be a different case..
     
  20. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    The "womb" thing is called an IUD (inter uterine device) in English. I forgot the name of the little tubes with hormones inplanted in your arm, but they are not as common, as a lot of womyn got strokes from them, and also had a hard time getting them removed. There is also Depo Provera, the three month "shot." But you should use a minipill (progesterone only) for a few months, to see if you get side effects before commiting to a non-removable BC.
     

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