Sorry its so long ! Back in the beginning of April I posted about a guy I'd met on the phone chatline, and that I wanted to please him online, but as I'd had no experience or even a boyfriend was clueless about how to descibe the acts. I'm 30yrs old. Well, someone slap me - HARD ! I have been very stupid. I'm not angry at him, just at myself. I was soooo naive ! SLAP ME ! The last couple of times we spoke, he bacame...well...quite frankly, downright creepy. I started doing at home a Cardio Striptease workout regularly, and not only has it increased my mobility (I'm disabled with Arthritis in my ankles), but my weight has dropped a little. This of course increased my confidence, and this guy who was formally very sweet, always very complimentary, understanding and patient, really helped bring sexual awareness into my life. I'll always be grateful for that, and will always have the memories. Anyway, over the time period we spoke (some 5 months almost daily) he would make book reccomendations, especially on female erotica - which I actually really enjoyed - and would sometimes ask me to read some to him. He would make suggestions on music and films, and I would check it out and we'd discuss it, he had great taste and it was great fun. Then a few weeks ago, he started talking to me like I was a bit of a thicko. Explaining technical things on sound engineering - which I have a degree in and used to do it proffessionally, and basically, when I'd voice my opinion, he would 'shush' me and continue. Weird. Things went downhill from there. Instead of going straight into private 1-1 calls, I made him wait and said I was exchanging messages with other friends and I'd talk when I was done, but we too could exchange messages in the meantime. The last time we spoke, this went on for a while until he was literally every message. It should be noted that there are 1000's of peeps on line at anytime, so it was odd that he could find my messges so quickly and repeatedly, and he often said in those messages, 'be careful who you talk about, you never know who is listening'. I wasn't actually messaging anyone, and his messages were soon becoming very confusing as they were also replying to different messages I was sending to him. He began to get impatient. And I left a message saying that he should not message me so much as his messages were leaving me confused. That's when it got freaky. He just kept saying " Confused" on every message. Once or twice it's ok, but 40 or 50 messages, and all in a creepy voice....NOooo ! All it needed was for him to bust down the cable and leave my carcas in a bloodied mess for the horror movie script to fit ! When we spoke, I told him that I wouldn't be on-line for a week as I had a horse Trails competition to attend and wouldn't be home. He got all angry and said that I should have told him because 'arrangements' could have been made, and that how long had I known about it. I told him its a yearly event for me for the last 20 odd years, and we would never meet anyway, thats what we both wanted. The previous time we spoke, he was strange too, but I thought it was me, and after phone sex, he fell asleep. I tried calling him, but he didn't stir, and so I put the phone down, hoping the system would cut him off after a while too. The line is free for girls, and the guys pay. He had a go at me for not waking him. He said I should have made more effort and that it would have saved him a bill. He said I was unfair and when I asked him "didn't the system cut you off ?" he snapped 'how should he know - he was asleep thanks to me!'. Basically he went all weird, and it really freaked me out. Then he started the run in to the phone sex lead-up. I was stupid to engage in it, but did - I was horny if disturbed by the conversation ! He was aggressive in tone, and 'fast and furious' in the actual descriptions. When he'd done, I asked if he were ok, and he said "I'm fucked" took a deep raspy breath and hung up. That was it. It was the first time he'd done that. He usually liked to chat, afterwards, but it was his tone and attitude over the past few calls that started setting the alarm bells ringing. The phrase 'Grooming' came into mind - friends told me to be careful as there were too many issues, too long to go into here, that were there, but I just didn't notice them before. Now friends have chastised me for being naive ! I don't know how to be any other way, and needless to say, I will never chat to that guy again - trust your instincts ladies ! - I really do think I have made a lucky escape. I had enough sense to never give him my home phone number or address, and only my email address, but I now really do think that I had a lucky escape. I'm so gutted - to the point of tears - that I now have all these sexual feelings, ideas, and thoughts, and not the courage, or opportunity now (after a serious car crash, I'm now slightly agrophobic), to meet a guy, and also that I don't want to just have a one-night stand for my first time. Any guys who know I'm a virgin at 30years old give the very tactful reply of "We can soon sort that out for you! Haha!" like its some kind of disease and they know the cure. And half of me wishes, I never even experienced all those locked up sexual feelings that he helped open up in me, as now I haven't anyone to share them with, and still have really horny moments. The problem is that I will always be in a vunerable condition because I wear my heart on my sleave, like a flashing neon sign, find good in all people and blindly act like they are all trustworthy. I am so stupidly naive. How can I be less Naive ??? How come you guys come across so worldly and how did you get to be that way ??? Seriously people, you may now beat me over the head with a very large club! Maybe that will knock some sense into me ! All opinons welcomed !!!
I think the only way to be less naive is to have experience and be aware that some people suck. The thing is, just by realising that you see the good in people and stuff and that they could take advantage of you makes u less naive, so maybe ur less naive than u think haha how did we get so worldy? i just did lots of stupid things i regret lol Im a bit crap at this advise thing actually, hope that helped tho xZx
