I've been together with a girl for 5 years. I feel like this isn't the real love of my life and that my life is passing me by, altough I do love her. But... more like a good friend now, you know? I am thinking about leaving her for some time now but the problem is that I support here financially and I am afraid she's going to hurt herself if I leave. We're also living togheter and I'm the one who does all the cooking and cleaning. I don't know what to do, I just know that I don't want to spend my life being her butler.
Leave And find the love of your life. This girl will soon find someone else who are willing to support her financially, do her laundry, clean and cook for her...
The sooner you leave her the better. If she isnt independant she will one day get a nasty shock, so by leaving her youre probably doing her more of a favour than anything. And anyone who doesnt realise that deserves to the left.
talk to her. I don't think you're being very fair if you know you aren't in love, yet you keep dragging her along.
I Was With My Ex For About 4 Yrs The Last 2 Yrs I Was Completly Miserable!!, And I Supported His Ass Did All The Cleaning Cooking Etc. It Took Me So Long To Get The Courage To Leave Him And I Swear It Was The Best Thing That I Ever Did I Did'nt Relize How Unhappy I Was Until I Did'nt Have To Deal With The Stress Of Being In His Pressence, Yes It Was A Hard Thing For Me And It Will Be For You Too But I Promise It Will Be For The Best And You'll See Maby Not Right Away But You'll See A Much Happier You And In The Long Run It'll Be Worth It For Her Maby Once You're Not Together She'll Relize Theres Nobody Thats Going To Take Care Of Someone That Cant Take Care Of Them Selves And She'll Gain Some Independence And Self Worth
i am now best friends with my ex, i mean were like brother and sister now because we broke up when we did rather then drag it out. it wasn't an easy break up and it took us a while to rebuild our relationship as friends but after about a year we really got to know eachother but in a different way. I am now with someone else and he has had other girlfriends and its all fine. I believe the best friends you have of the opposite sex are often previous lovers because once the sexual chemistry or 'what ifs' between the two of you are realised and you know it hasn't worked, any wondering or imagining is dipelled and your friendship suddenly becomes a platonic independant one where you support eachother from the wings. and chances are that if you've been feeling it, she has too. goodluck!
thanx for the advice. I hope it will work out for us like it did for u, Lillyblue. We were best friends before we became lovers. We would have been better off if we would have stayed friends, because now I'm gonna lose this wonderful person as a friend. Love isn't easy. And headymoechick, I know I have been dragging her along, and I feel like a son of a bitch for doing that. I really do love her, and we have been trough a lot together. But it just doesn't work.
I understand. I'm trying to reconcile things with my ex so that we at least stay friends. We have too much in common not to. but it's hard to not want to stay in love. Me and my ex fight like cats and dogs, but there's still love for some unknown reason. Good luck to you. I hope it works out for the best.
good luck to you to, headymoechick. It's strange that even when you broke up you still keep a warm feeling for your ex in your heart. Even if he/she was an asshole.
he wasn't an asshole. I mean, he could be, but I was a psycho bitch at times too. We didn't and still dont' know how to fight fair. We personally attacked each other. It got bad. Things are better now that we broke up. I'm even living with him again. It was really terrible at first. I hated him and we both went a little crazy. I mean, I was 16, he was 17 when we moved out and started living with each other. Then for almost 3 years we made it on our own. We didnt know how to live or function without one another. Erik did all the things you say you do for your girl. He wanted a break to teach me independence for a while, but I was the one who finally said ok, enough is enough. Like I said, at first, things were really bad. It got violent. I was scared. But things calmed down and we realized all our mistakes. We're friends right now and nothing more.
I think it is normal what you went trough, because I learned that having a relationship with someone isn't easy, you have to work for it and you have to learn a lot. Like how to have an argument without it ending as a riot an d such. For us it does not work right now but I do hope we c
Relationships aren't easy, are they? This is my first serious relationship and I noticed you have to work and learn a lot to keep your relationship healthy. Having an argument that solves something without it turning into a full scale riot is one of the hardest things you have to learn. What I am having with my girlfriend isn't working out, but I hope that in time we can become friends like you and Erik. You lost a lover but you also found a friend. Me and my girlfriend are having some serious talks right now. It isn't easy, but I think that I'm going to move out as soon as I find another place to stay. I'm sad, and actually a bit ashamed because I'm exited to start with the rest of my life. I have never lived on my own, so I'm curious....
i kinda have this problem too... except, ,im not sure how i feel, and i miss my ex.... anyways, enough about me! i dont know if i shouild give advice because im in the same situation, but... maybe you should wait like a week nad see how you feel, try to do stuff you used to do together.. see if you'll regret this before you break it up. maybe inform a freind of hers before you do if your afraid of her hurting herself, so her freidn can bwe right there for her.
oh, sorry ,did you already break up? im not sure if the friend thing is a good idea. im not even sure if my ex still likes me anymore.
hey rainbowcat, no we didn't break up jet. But we had a talk and decided to give each other some space, so we'll see how that will work out...I do think the friend thing is a good idea, maybe that will help her. Why shouldn't you give someone else advice? If you have have been in the same situation you can definetly relate to what is going on. I'm sorry that it didn't work out between you and your ex. Isn't it normal to miss what you had with an ex? I always missed my ex-girlfriends until I met someone else, or got used to being single. I hope that your feelings will become clear to you. I wish you a lot of happiness and love.
