Am I going mad... again?

Hello there.

The other day I was at a gathering, drinking and smoking a bit. Later on in the evening I just sort of 'woke up' except I was in the middle of the room talking to everyone about a "witch" who had been, sort of, one degree removed from me in the recent past. The thing is, I don't know who the fuck I was talking about. I remember Amelia asking if I meant Julia, who is the only witch I know, but as I phased from one locus of control to another (one of which I can remember the experiences of, one I can't), I was pretty sure I didn't mean her. I don't know what I had been talking about previously and the last thing I can remember is going to the toilet which felt like about 10 minutes ago, but I can't be sure.

I've been told that schizophrenia is not in fact a split personality thing. But it seems to me that what is happening is basically, I'm surrendering my body for someone else to control for small amounts of time. I don't have any control or memory of him (I actually suspect it may be a her... I girl called Orane that I met and exchanged parts of my soul with a while back... 6 years back in fact.), except during the few seconds at the transition, and she doesn't seem to have access to my memories or, my self.

Umm, I was diagnosed schizophrenic about 6 years ago and have been on anti-psychotics ever since. Recently my dose of Piportal (which has a usual maintenance dose of 50-150mg) was reduced to 20mg and my last dose of that was about 2 months ago (usually monthly). It has been being reduced gradually over the last couple of years. I have my psychiatrist's permission to do this but he's a bit wary because I still smoke a (very) little bit of weed.


I'll leave it at that for now, what do you think, am I going mad?

 

You are right.
Schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder are two completely different things.
Schizophrenics have paranoid delusions and also experience hallucinations, most of which are auditory.
I have a very good friend that is schizophrenic and when I went to visit him in the hospital last time he tried to convince me that sound of the door squeaking shut was actually a way of aliens trying to communicate with him. Schizophrenics hear things that aren't there.
There is no cure to schizophrenia, and it is believed to be hereditary.
The most important thing for a schizophrenic to do is to take their meds, ALL THE TIME. Schizophrenics should also see a psychologist or therapist regularly.
The hard part about this is that once on the medication, the schizophrenia subsides and the patient believes that the need for medication has passed. So, they stop taking their pills and they once again experience paranoid delusions and hallucinations.

What I think you should do is talk to your doctor and psychologist about this. This is a serious matter concerning your mental health, why consult a message board with whom these people are not aware of your medical background, do not have the proper training for, or really have any idea about what kind of person you are.

 

MY MOM HAS Schizophrenia AND IT'S NO JOKE..IF THEY ARE LOWERING YOUR DOSE AND YOUR DEMONS ARE RETURNING I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR DOC ASAP..I WOULD HATE FOR YOU TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN..GOOD LUCK MAN.

 

Well, partly because I don't really appreciate the opinions of psychiatrists, who essentially are all the same and haven't actually lived any kind of real life. They've never had any adventure, never taken any real risks, they've always been secure (financially, I mean), never experimented with drugs etc etc.



Partly because talking to my psychiatrist will likely mean going back on the medication and also, possibly, back into hospital which is the shittest place on Earth.



I was doing a lot of drugs of all kinds when I was diagnosed and there is a query Drug Induced Psychosis. The meds have a lot of side effects and, imo, which the psychiatrist values not a lot, are worth trying to come off. There are actually a few people who either have, or think they may have some kind of 'mental illness' on these pages, and are living with it, and to be honest it's them who I'm asking. No one else actually has any real insight.

My 'illness' is damn cool. It's all good fun up until I'm hospitalised. I never do anything dangerous. I'm just a bit mental, in a happy way. I don't have any demons, just spirits.

 

Well Then Whatever ...don't Ask Questions If You Really Don't Care Fucking Loser

 

you exchanged part of your soul with somneone? how the fuck woudl you go about doing that?

 

being crazy...

 

Yes, your going mad again if you don't take your meds and dont even TRY to work with your Psychiatrist. Deal with it and take the meds. If you done take the meds and then you end up on psych unit it is your own fault...no one to blame but yourself...I am taking over 30 pills a day from Dr. I NEED them because I am Mentally Ill. I would get the bags packed for the Hospital if not on meds and refuse to talk to your DR.

 

You are not going crazy...you ARE crazy.

No, illness is "cool". And if you believe for one second that it's fun to be schizophrenic...well, then I feel sorry for you. I've dealt first hand on many occasion with my very schizophrenic friend, and I've seen him threaten the life of our other friend, someone he has known since grade school and grown up with and loved. That is most certainly not "cool" in my books.

 

Schizophrenia is not just an illness you can just ignore.
You HAVE to be on your meds, this is absolutely vitile.

 

Jesus Christ. What's your problem? Just cos I don't value your opinion doesn't mean I don't care or value anyone else's. Get the fuck off my thread you wanker.

 

Well, in my philosophy the soul is like a liquid being carried in the vessels of our bodies and you exchange parts of your soul with everyone you interact with. I spent a lot of time talking to this girl about a lot of deep things and hence, soul was exchanged.

 

*sighs*... I just said I've never done anything dangerous. I've never threatened anyone's life. As you probably know there is no test for schizophrenia. It's not like you can do a brain scan or something and say "yup, this person has schizophrenia". It's all based on your psychiatrist's opinion which in turn is based on the opinions of soulless motherfuckers who went before him who thought that any kind of spirituality or spiritual experience was madness. My psychiatrist, according to both my CPN (community nurse) and psychologist is an arrogant wanker (I'm paraphrasing obviously) who has no respect for his patients.

I don't want to trust my life to him.

Also, to all of you fatalists, 1/3 of diagnosed schizophrenics recover. Lets just say that again shall we, in case you don't understand fractions... 1 in 3 people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia, recover from said illness.

 

people who think docs cure folks must be nieve ...stay out of hospitals ...stay out of trouble ...choose yer own poison .....you couldnt be crazier than bush !!

 

I watched this film the other day ...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/cinema/features/blue-orange.shtml

http://society.guardian.co.uk/societyguardian/story/0,7843,1420067,00.html

It was realy good..

what colour are oranges, Andy ?

 

also there was a movie 'a beautifull mind '

 

i hope he kills himself before him kills someone else...and you dont' care cause if you did you would take care of your problem instead of making it worst..and wanker is so fucking old..you little bitch. wait....maybe this is you...or the government...maybe we are in your computer.......making you feel like you are talking to so many other people....i see you...

 

see he is crazy

just cause you havn't hurt anyone or yourself yet dosn't mean you won't..you obviously havn't had a all out episode yet...my mother is mentally ill..i am bipolar i had to do rehab in a dual program with people on drugs and mentally ill..it's not a joke..i'm angry cause i feel as if you are playing with yourself..what about the people around you as in your family...you think they like seeing this shit..you are so fucking stupid.

 

Dude, I almost pissed my pants laughing at such idiocy

 

christ people, do you have to be so agressive. And just for a moment consider someone else might have thought or understood something you cant grasp, hip folks are generally a lot more tolerent and open minded than some of prats posting here.

That said, i'd just like to let you know something. Andy has never been violent towards people, ever, through years of serious shit. And guess what, his family support him coming of meds, as a trial which is what right now is, because the meds fuck him up more than the illness, the diagnosis of which has been questioned recently. he's allways thought on a different plane to most folks but his madness is in part a good experience for him mentally, the down side being he loses touch, something he had no reason to care about before. now he has a family. what he hates is being locked up for his own good. and i support him totally, i know what hospitals have done to him, and i never want him back there.

Im his wife, and its me who's got to cope with our son if the shit hits the fan, im not stupid enough to risk my husbands mental health for nothing. He may well need the meds for a while yet, or forever, but im dammed if im going to sit back and let him rot on them for nothing...oh by the way the long term effects of these wonderdrugs is kidney and liver failure. Thats why hes off his meds before you accuse him of being irresponsible. And as someone with experience of the health service and certain standards of care, i can confirm his psych. is a disgrace.

so please respond to this question with a bit of sensitivity, and think before you judge.