society's standards for women are fucked up

i had the most wonderful conversation with a lady from brazil a couple of days ago... her name is katcha... she is absolutely GORGEOUS...

she told me some completely amazing things... i commented on how my body would look bad in a bikini, and she said "no, jeana, everyone is beautiful... in brazil, everyone wears bikinis, no matter how much you weigh, and everyone is considered beautiful, no matter what size, shape, or color you are..." that is so beautiful...

i wish the united states did not have such high standards for women. i mean, fuck, how many women are ACTUALLY a size 2?!? a small percentage, of course. how did society GET these standards? the MEDIA. the media airbrushes these models, to make them look "perfect", so these little girls and boys that are so impressionable are affected... its sad. there are more cases of bulimia and aneorixa then ever before... this is becauses these kids think that if they dont look like these "beautiful" people, they will be shunned... and they are. people are so shallow, now-a-days.

i was at the park a couple of days back, and i heard a couple of kids bickering... they just kept verbally abusing each other until one boy said to another "yeah, well, at least my mom isnt fat!"... the hurt in the boy's eyes was indescribable... even TODDLERS are affected by the media... thats really patetic.... do the money-greedy CEO's REALLY get that much more money by influencing these little kids? unfortunately, yes... its because they ARE influenced so easily... its a never ending cycle.

and im not saying this because i have low self-esteem or anything... i am very accepting of my body, and i love the way i am... i mean, sure, i get a little insecure sometimes, but hell, doesnt everyone?

everyone is beautiful, in some way. everyone.... i wish people would realize that. it is NOT what is on the outside, it is what is on the INSIDE.... people need to realize that everyone is simply gorgeous, from the inside out.

did you know that hollister and american eagle only hires people that are "beautiful"? what the fuck!? what IS beautiful? society says blonde, 5'9'', 100 lbs.... but i say a person that is THEMSELF, and is comfortable to admit that they have imperfections, is beautiful.

it completely amazes me how many shallow mother fuckers there are out there.... in fact, its quite depressing.

 

I've proud of being a chubby, poofy haired, short, brunette damnit!

We had a conversation in Spanish a few months ago about how Latin American countries view beauty totally differently than we do. South American people value the "gordita", or the curvier girls. The way I see it, screw the people who try to judge me for being overweight. Those types of people are worthless, regardless of how otherwise wonderful they are. I have exfriends who have made fun of people in front of me for being too fat, not dressing trendy enough, etc and that's why they became exs, despite the fact that otherwise they're pretty good people.

The sad thing is that bigger people tend to have the hardest time socially just in general. If you grow up under the scrutiny of all around you for being heavy, you're going to be shy and reserved and meh. :\

 

as a teen I have been seriously overweight. then I lost weight, but I am still curvy, and I like myself that way.

In my experience, real man, the once that are no teenagers any more, said a lot of times, they like curvey women a lot better then the totally meager ones on TV, that look like they might die of starvation in the next minute.

And wen I see the girls now, where I could almost fit with both hands ( I have don't have big hands) around their wastes, I feel disgusted. this is a lot worse then when I was a teen. This is not a natural slimness, it's sick! And it's disgusting. I feel sorry for them and their self-image when I see them.

I have lived in arabian countries, and for them, also women that have something to touch are a lot more beautiful then the skinny ones.

 

My daughters, who are only five and (almost) eight years old, are already stressing about this and have been for some time! GRRRRRRRRRR


So, I have forbidden their grandmothers from talking about how supposedly fat they think they are. (Chronic dieters.) And when I see super skinny people on TV and stuff I comment on how hungry and sickly they look. When I see curvier people I comment on how gorgeous and vibrant and comfortable they look. Now my kids are starting to do it, too.

Even when I was lighter than I am now, I was curvy. The girls who starve themselves and suffer might be surprised to find out how many times men have told me that they prefer women who don't look like skeletons. Men have been telling me that since I was about 14.

I am not skinny, but I'm in good shape. I can maintain a conversation at 20 beats per minute above my target heartrate. I have good blood pressure. I have legs like an athlete from walking everywhere. Health isn't about looking like a famine victim.

 

Sizism is one of the last bastions of stereotyping that is accepted wholeheartedly by the media. And in the US, the media controls a lot.

We need good sized womyn, getting good roles in movies. I mean, crap, Paris Hilton can get more roles than Kathy Bates, lately, that's a fucked up society. And any actress with some meat on her it told to lose it, or she doesn't get roles. Sad indeed.

STOP going to see movies with nothing but unrealistically thin womyn in them. Don't buy "Fashion and Beauty" magazines. (Especially, if most of their copy is about stupid "diets" and "how the stars lost weight." Write the studios and tell them you want healthy looking womyn on TV and in movies. Make an impression.

 

You are so right peacelovebarefeet. It's really sad the way women are put down, and made to feel so inadequate, at younger and younger ages. It's frustrating to hear little girls stress about their bodies and want to be "sexy" at such young ages. It's heart breaking to hear of the more and more eating disorders and self image distortions that women are suffering from.

I know, because I am one of those women who have dealt with eating disorders, self distortion issues, and lack of confidence from the time I was 9 years old. True, a lot of my problems stemmed from other issues, but I still, to this day, struggle with learning to love myself and not seek the "perfection" that supposedly is what the average woman should be in the eyes of the media.

 

i am almost overweight, but not quite.... sometimes, yes, i do wish i was curvier, but i do like myself as i am now, too!

whats really sad is when i see these little girls, like 5-7 years old, in skimpy little miniskirts, and little tiny tube tobs! DISGUSTING. being cute and showing a little skin is one thing (as in a little sundress or something), but little girls trying to be "sexy" and looking trashy is another. who are they trying to be "sexy" for? their moms??

i dont know, it seems like EVERYWHERE i look, there is someone or something telling me i need to slim down, eat less, excersize more, and while yes, excersizing is a wonderful thing to do, people SHOULD be able to accept themselves the way they are!

 

Yup, totally agree with all of you...I'm learning about my body all over again as I get older (I'm in my 40's)...funny the affect gravity has on a body! I'm roughly the same size I always was (a little heavier), but things are just a little lower, and clothes don't fit quite like they used to...a part of "body love' for me is rejecting some of the societal stereotypes about how older women lose their atractiveness just because they've gotten older...I'm learning to see the beauty in a body that, in a few years, will be the body of the crone...and seeing that, even though I don't have the 20 yr. old physique anymore, I am attractive in a whole new way...I am wiser, my voice, my experiences, and my spirit go deeper than they ever have...and I have a whole new phase of my life to look forward to!

 

That's a totally awesome outlook Sus!

 

sus, that is a great attitude indeed. i am about to turn 41 and yes i have noticed a few changes recently...i am a pagan so this past spring i felt, for the first time, a little embarrassed (at beltaine)...but then i thought, fuck that. why should i be ashamed of my age? we shouldn't be ashamed of our looks, weight, age, color, nothing appearance wise. for a long time i too battled anorexia/bulimia issues...and i wouldn't wear skirts or shorts for years because i have thick muscular legs and i was embarrassed by them...and that's stupid isn't it? this is the way i am made! diet wouldn't change them,and they are strong, they work well. my daughter is six now and i can see that she will be built just like me, with curvy legs and a tiny waist...sturdy but slim, not "ideal" skinny...and i worry that she won't like her body when i know she will be beautiful...(adult beautiful as opposed to the child beauty she now has).

 

Society isnt forcing these standards on us. WE are setting these standards..."society(aka corporations)" is just giving us what WE want. It is not society that needs to adjust its standards..we need to learn to be content with ourselves. Will that happen? doubtful..self improvement and insecurity seem to be natural traits of humans. Are companies preying on our insecurity? Yep. So what?

 

Just Me dolls? whats that?? maybe im too young for that...

i think we should all write to those magazines and tell them we want normal sized women (and men!) on the covers.... im going to!

 

Bulimia and Aneorixa are caused when somebody sees others hail an image (brought on by the media, a guy whistling at a hot girl on tv, while all the other girls visiting his house get a message sent through their heads, or vice versa (it can happen to guys too) but much less often) then they think they should be that image. Your pretty right.

I'd only reject a girl for her appearance if her weight was a health concern (Obese). I equate obesity with smoking, they are both preventable causes of death (and the top in the country).

I've seen it in wemon alot more than men. In this day and age there are more wemon than men, so its difficult to find a partner for wemon. I mean, why is everything "Gross". You stick out your tounge, and some girl is going to say "Gross".

 

I agree with what everyone has said here. However, I want to point out that it's just as wrong to skinny-bash as it is to make fun of obese people. Women come in ALL shapes and sizes, and that needs to be appreciated. Of course, I fully agree that we need more positive, healthy role models for women today.

 

let us not forget that brazil has the highest rate of plastic surgery in the world.

that being said, not every body is going to be pleasing to everyone, but i bet it's pleasing to SOMEONE. my sister in law and i are perfect examples. neither of us can understand why anyone would find the other attractive, yet we've both seen evidence that we ARE very attractive. we are each just so far out of each other's taste in women that we just can't really relate. our taste in men is just as opposite. that's just how people are.

 

Well, on the male side we have bigorexia, stressing about hair loss, and of course, that wonderful scene where Brad Pitt takes his shirt off in Thelma and Louise to show a body that can be maintained in that state for about a day or two (bodybuilders time their dieting, diuretics etc. to the hour when preparing for a show).

You think being 20lb underweight is unfair try holding 5-6% bodyfat.

 

so i made your "Fuck your facist beauty standards", into Screw your capitalist beauty standards and put it on a shirt, fuck to screw becuase censorship is strong at school. but i need to get the message across, of course the shirt will be worn with no bra, i am proud to say that i have stopped wearing them.