OK, I'm going to start out by saying that I am NOT a jealous person...Never ever been described as one...but I need some advice/opinions... So I did this survey on my myspace account where you had to list twenty people that you know and answer these questions about each one...Well this guy that I really care about (a lot...A LOT A LOT) filled it out. Now, a little background on him and I. We aren't TECHNICALLY in a relationship...but we may as well be, the time we spend together. Well, he had this girl on his list (we'll call her, oh, I don't know...TALITHA) who he had sexual relationship with, but says she and he never were technically a couple (are you sensing a pattern here...as I typed that out...I kinda see the relationship)....and he also claims that he is totally over her. So the question about person number one (which was me), said something along the lines of "Describe person number 1" and he writes "She's my hippie woman". The last question on the list said "Is person number 13 sexy" and number 13 just happened to be Talitha...and he writes "Talitha is pretty damn sexy!" I had this total stabbing feeling in my stomach. I felt like someone just came up and ripped the heart right out of my chest. So I replied to his post and wrote "whoa, talk about a stab right in the gut". The mix between how little he said about me...and what he said about Talitha...totally rubbed me the wrong way and made me feel like total crap. We talked about it over the phone a little and he said "Oh, Annie, it's just a survey. It's no big deal" and although he apologized, I don't feel closure with it. Am I totally off base? Is it not that big of a deal after all? I asked him how he would have felt if I had written something like that about someone else and he said he'd probably feel the same way...although I don't know if that was really a genuine answer.... So what do you guys think?
he did it to fuck with your head if it was on your page, which is highly immature. do you really want to be with a game player anyway?
i think he didnt realise the wieght of his words. he probably would have kept that to himself as a courtesy if he couldve preconcieved your reaction. emotions are quite irrational when it comes down to it. You both felt these reactions instinctively(him sex, you hurt), and now you have to try to rationalise them, which is totally futile. so uhh, good luck. I'd say he slipped because he wasnt right in front of you, and or it was a joking comment that had a little too much truth in it. no help of course, just a comment.
Perhaps he doesn't quite know what he wants and is staying a step back from both of you, hence the vague survey statements. I mean, if I were in your shoes, I'd probably feel just as (or possibly more) hurt if he called Talitha his "hippie woman" and just called me "pretty damn sexy". The wording of "MY hippie woman" sounds more affectionate than the generic statement of "pretty damn sexy". Pretty damn sexy is what you say about someone when you don't know what else to say. And think about the alternative: hurting his friend's feelings by saying "No, Talitha is NOT sexy". Either way it's a bit of a lose-lose situation for him and it seems as though he just did his best. I think the real matter here is something you just barely hinted at: your uncertainty about whether he is serious about YOU or if he is just in it for the ride.
I'd be jealous too, but that's my nature and I'll admit it. I'd get over it, but I'd probably bitch a few times. It sounds like me may be playing a head game, but maybe not. Tread carefully.
