confessions of a former feminist......

I am 47 now, menopause and middle age solidly upon me. Still, being a woman remains a challenge; being a new woman, "a new thing on the earth who encompasses a man" (Jer 31:22), the greatest challenge. No kidding. Is it any wonder that it would be all but impossible for a man to rule over a woman these days, with her giving voluntary surrender to his heart, thus fulfilling her created purpose? (Gen 3:16). Not only that, but also doing her part to restore the universe in the process? (Rev 12:1).


Woman is the key, but feminists won't like the recipe.


When I was a little girl around nine years old, I learned how to avoid little boys who gave me a hard time. I didn't like being chased and caught, teased and made the center of attention. It hurt. I did something about it. I did my best to avoid situations like that. It worked pretty well.


I went to private schools for girls and to a woman's college. In social settings, I only dealt with men whom I wanted to relate to and I did so on my terms. I cherished my heart and my feelings. I didn't want to spend them on anything but the real thing. During the rise of feminism in the '70s and '80s (in my twenties and thirties), I judged that I had done the wise and right thing to protect myself. I thought I had fared well in guarding myself from being unnecessarily hurt by men. I could cite a litany of my relationships, feeling like I had come out the other side relatively unscathed.



But as the years pass and the love of my husband brings healing to my life, I am only just beginning to realize some of the hurts that I caused men in the process. I had no idea, and what's worse, I don't even remember thinking about it.



I have been a new woman (Havah Hadashah) and a disciple of Yahshua for twelve years now. As time moves on, the scales are being lifted from my eyes and I am seeing more and more clearly how I have been deceived by schemes of evil, contrary to God, and how women today are probably the most deceived women of all time. To be deceived means to believe something to be true that is not true, even though you believe it with all your heart. Being deceived is the sin of Eve and of all women. It is sin because we are all accountable for what and who we believe (Proverbs 17:4). Do we trust good or evil, truth or lies? Eve doubted God's goodness toward her and fallen women continue to do the same, trusting in their own understanding rather than leaning on God and man. It is not theory; it is reality. Look around you — can you see it everywhere?



I'll give you just one example of a deception that plagued me for years and I didn't even know it. It is near and dear to my heart. When I was twenty-two, I suddenly fell madly in love when I least expected it. It was mutual. He was a few years younger and it took us both by surprise. It lasted a few months and then "puff!" — he was gone. It vanished faster than it arrived. I was devastated. It caused me great pain for years and I never could figure out what happened, no matter how much I pined away over it. I believed our love was true and I was utterly perplexed at what caused the bottom to drop out of it. We had no fight, no falling out, no final phone call — just "puff!"



Communication about it just didn't or couldn't happen. I never could reach any resolve in myself about it. Occasionally I would see him around. Mystified as I was by the whole thing, my tender heart toward him remained. I never felt distant or estranged or bitter, just severed. We had not been unkind to each other.


The years came and went. He married. When I saw a photograph of his bride in the newspaper, I knew he did not love her. Then the decades came and went. We had a few good conversations about life, never really about us. He divorced, moved on in his work, remarried. The warmth between us was never absent on the very rare occasion that we would cross paths.


A few years back my husband and I were talking. He told me he thought that this particular relationship took a chunk out of my life that I never recovered from. He didn't know how or why; he just sensed it. I knew it was the truth. I was surprised how he could single it out like that because the relationship had lasted only a few months. He wanted to help me. He wanted me to recover. He was not threatened. He always trusts my love and need for him. We talked in detail. He told me it was pretty simple what happened twenty years ago — I had devastated my old love when I said no to getting married. It was more than he could handle. The human heart was not meant to "handle" such things.



"I wasn't ready." " It didn't mean I didn't love him." " My parents couldn't take it." On and on. I had many reasons. But the fact is that I was as much "in love" with him as I knew how to be back then and it had never once, not in twenty-some years, occurred to me that I had hurt him like that, that I had driven him away by my unwillingness to become his wife. I felt so stupid and so bad. I broke down crying when I finally saw what had happened and faced the reality of how I had hurt him. I knew his life had not been particularly happy. I had such deep regret in me for hurting his heart, his loving heart that I thought I had treasured. The spirit of the times deceived me to think something else was more important — my life, my career, my selfish ambition. I trusted it. I believed a lie, but nevertheless I am the one responsible for what I did. It has taken me twenty-five years to see how our "free love" cost a lot — a whole lot.



So last year, after 24 years, I looked him up, went to his place of business, walked in the door and said I had something to tell him. He was stunned and not unhappy to see me. He made the time and we laughed. I confessed to him what I had just learned, telling him how embarrassed I was never to have realized my own selfishness and insensitivity. I repented to him in tears for hurting him, for not trusting the depth of his heart toward me enough to lean my life on him. I had used him and didn't even know it. All along I had unconsciously presumed that he was as selfish as I was. I was very wrong. He was in stunned disbelief that I never knew why he stopped coming around. He stared right at me, right through me and out the other side saying, "I thought you knew. I thought you knew you were the one that ended it. I loved you." I assured him in utter shame that what I was telling him was the truth. We both cried and smiled. I don't think the pain of how I hurt him will ever be gone for me, but I know I am forgiven and rejoice that at least now I am beginning to see these ways as sin, confess them, and receive mercy.


The problem between us was that our relationship went ahead of being in a covenant — a covenant of marriage. It is not the way it is supposed to be. Feminism doesn't teach you much, if anything, deeper than a woman's own self-interest. Feminism is a lie. It is a deceitful scheme designed to rob women and men both. Don't do to someone else what you don't want them to do to you. Remember? The Golden Rule. Why is it that women can fault what men do to them, but see it as their right to do the same thing back, or worse? Do you recall the popularity of the movie First Wives, glorifying revenge? It is an evil approach to life that cannot make anyone happy except those who glory in evil.


Often women feel used by men sexually — after the fact. But if they didn't sleep with men whom they were not willing to surrender their lives to, then they would not get used in that way. Neither would men. The deception is that women don't face how seriously they hurt men in relationships — it is wicked that they justify it. It is just as evil as men misusing women. Both men and women forget that they will have to give account for how they relate to one another, not on their terms, but on God's, who designed the protected covenant of marriage where intimacy could be cherished and blessed.



The sooner men and women realize they need each other to be men and women, according to God's created purpose (Gen 1:24-28), the better it will be — for everybody, including the children, the future adults on this planet. A man and a woman being one the way God intended — man ruling from a place of giving up his life for his wife, and woman surrendering totally to his love — is the beginning of restoration. It is the opposite of broken relationships. It is the foundation of wanted, procreated children who want to follow the vision of their parents, in pursuit of love.


"I've looked at love from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow it's love's illusions I recall. I really don't know love at all." There was truth in these '60s lyrics. No one can know love if he only loves himself. I am happy to be learning how to love for real and to walk in the forgiveness of the One who poured out His life for me when I don't. My husband leads me on that path and I am so glad I could see past the fears and the lies of feminism to surrender to his love, without reserve. It is wonderful to be a woman learning what my created purpose is. I have no regrets in that act of trusting.


To trust is the most feminine and most godly and most radical act a woman can do. Restoration must come through woman, through her voluntary surrender. The sorrow that I know is that which comes from the damage and pain I caused others in only trusting myself. I'm glad there is an alternative, a way to be forgiven and have a new life where I can learn to love and be loved, for real.

visit: www.hippiecrit.org
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felt this posting was needful what with all the rebellious women of "christianity" that post on this forum.

yes needful, yet will there be those who "hear"?

no matter, for while there is breath(spirit) there is hope!

hope that there would be those who would accept The Creator's Order.......

peace, even as war(spiritual and carnal) rages....... francisco

 

that was written quite beautifully.
i haven't done much reading by feminist authors, or generally on the subject of feminism, but i would agree that what i do know leads me to believe that radical feminism (or perhaps any belief system that becomes fanatical) is wildly off-base.

you call feminism evil because it teaches nothing but extreme self-interest and disregard for the opposite sex. some more gentle and intelligent feminists might argue that feminism simply calls for equality between the two sexes, and in fact among all human beings.

Gen 3:16 states, "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

Does your husband rule over you, or is it a mutual and equal relationship, with no 'ruling' whatsoever? What do you make of this verse?

You say that the most feminine act a woman can do is to voluntarily surrender, that is, to God I would assume. Not to men? Do you believe in a woman's right to be treated equally in the world? Should a woman be looked down upon if she's interested in pursuing an education, if she's interested in travelling, or in a career outside of her family? What about a woman who is uninterested in having a family?

If that's what feminism is all about, creating fairness and respect between the sexes, would you still consider 'original' feminism to be evil?

I liked the story of how you went back to your old love and asked for forgiveness for how you ended the relationship (unwittingly). I can think of a few people I've probably hurt in the past..
Happy to hear that you're living a joyful life,

Peace,
Sophia

oh, & i tried to look into it, but..
i thought i'd tell you that your link to a description of 'Yahshua' is broken.

 

Why blame feminism? Not all feminists are selfish. Feminists can love without reserve. It sounds like you are blaming feminism for what really a personal problem.

Women can push for equality while maintaining their religious ideals and their personal relationships. The bible never said women shoudn't vote, or don't deserve equal pay to men, or that they can't be raped by their husbands. But that's the way it was in America before feminists demanded equality. History shows that women have generally been treated very poorly across the globe, and in some places still are. Just in the past few decades has equality for women finally been catching on both in the US and worldwide, thanks to feminists.

 

so sad for you fransico :-(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

 

Hope you don't mind a guy adding to (or taking away from) the post.
IMHO ~
We tend to get caught up in this gender thing. It happens all the time.
But the thing to get caught up in is Love, but nobody teaches us that. I believe that almost everyone will attest to the "fact" that as children we are almost warned off falling in love so that parents lives aren't complicated by early pregnancies, local gossip, reputation, all that stuff.
But Love is the One thing that we ablsolutely need to have. And to have it we need to be able to recognize it. And to recognize it we must have had it, felt it, seen it, heard it, in order to know it and recognize it.
Unfortunately, psychological studies show that 96% of western world families are dysfunctional, where funtionality is the ability to know, recognize, and relate Lovingly, and dysfunctionality is the inability to know, recognize, and relate Lovingly. That is why we stumble and bumble around in our adolescent attempts at expressing Love. That is why it is such a hard thing to do for so many people. And that is why the world is so screwed up right now. Not just your world, Francisco, but the world of each and every person who, by merit of being born blind to Love, is unable to know it and see it and touch it and feel it and want it and hold it and do it.
You're the right age for this Francisco ~ listen to Janice Joplin sing "Get it While You Can".
Janice was no feminist. She would have said she was no lady! But Janice Joplin lived life every moment that was available to the fullest extent that was possible. She lived her truth where others feared to, and she loved without restraint, because......."we may not be here tomorrow............."
Thanks for your post
& thanks for the opportunity to respond

 

janice knew much of "The Truth", and yet she was unable to succumb,
unable to submit to The Truth for her "status" and "death"style finally
overcame her.

she could "see" "Life" and yet was unable to prevent her own destruction
because "her" fleshly desires were so strong.

sad that her "we may not be here tomorrow" was prematurely realized due
to her cluttered conscience.

yet, "freedom's just another word for nothing else to lose" will always
ring true.

thing is when one believes in "death", "death" rules and becomes the only
reality such a one experiences....... they "think" a lot of "Life", and write
about "Freedom", yet experience only "death":-((((((

seems those who believe in "death" also believe sexual relations between
a man and a woman is "love", yet the "Love" they believe they "share"?
is naught but "lust".

yet, while there is breath(spirit) there is hope!

hope there would be those who experience "Love"!

hope there are those who experience The Reality that is "Love" for
all that is Real is Forever.......

peace, even as war(carnal and spiritual) rages....... francisco
http://ASpiritualJourney.Org

 

thank you cerberus, for that shows you care.......
so many laughing, yet not caring:-((((((

yet while there is breath(spirit) there is hope!

yes, even for such as "i" and "u".......

peace, even as war(spiritual and carnal) rages....... francisco
http://ASpiritualJourney.Org

 

Nice post. It reminded me of a former co-worker who became a manager. When I asked her which she valued more, her new born daughter or her new job, she said she loved her new job more. I thought she had misplaced priorities.

There was also this dispatcher that I really liked. She had sex with a manager then filed charges against him. Her settlement was that he got fired and she got his job.

I knew a computer operator who had sex with a co-worker. He decided to call off the relationship. She filed a complaint against him and he got fired.

Meanwhile I was bought up on charges because I asked a woman out to lunch. I was cleared of all charges. So I never bothered asking another woman out at work again. And if they asked me out I refused. I was bought up on charges yet meanwhile while walking down a hallway I saw and heard a woman telling another woman what a fine ass she had, something which I would never say to a woman.

At another place I would go into an office where the woman hung her bra on the chair. I would have to ask her to please move it before I worked on her computer, least I be bought up on charges for touching her bra. Meanwhile the woman next to her had a postcard sized picture of a cow which she had written on it that she takes it up the ass.

Those are my recollection of feminism. That and while walking down the street there was a feminist protesting pornography. As I walked by I read what was on her poster. She looked at me and accused me of wanking off. I called over a police officer, told him what she said and he made her pack up and leave the street corner.

 

White Feather - yeah, but you won't get beaten up at 3 am like women are. And besides you're a member of the male collective.

I didn't realise this until I made similar statements in the Wimyn's forum - charming guy by the name of Feathers. Good luck.

 

Having grown up in NYC and working the 3rd shift I had my scares. But yes, I do know that women are raped and physically abused, along with mental abuse. (My sister is a woman who chose the wrong men in her life, the first one hit her so hard that he cracked her skull. Meanwhile my ex-wife left me and married an abuser who used to hit her all the time. (Something which I never did.)) That didn't help my cousin where his wife used to beat him up all the time. He finally got a divorce when she knifed a burglar and she confessed that she thought it was her husband. She killed the burglar. My cousin had been knifed by her before.

Men get abused by women, too.

http://www.cyberparent.com/abuse/maleabuse.htm and
http://www.google.com/search?q=men+abused+by+women&start=0&start=0&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial
http://www.batteredmen.com/gjdvdata.htm :

It's a sad state of affairs all around.

 

White Feather - seriously, mate, we're on the same team.

Go to the wommmyion's forum and check out some posts by "Feathers" - he'll basically tell you it's the "male collective's" fault that she was like that, so men are to blame anyway.

 

what you have shared is very interesting.

brings back memories of when i was going to initiate
"men's lib"

yet then, i realized all that is happening was prophesied
many year ago, especially the prophecy that speaks:

"there will come a time when women will rule over men
and children will be their oppressors, oh, MY people,
they which lead you cause you to err":-((((((

all women? well i yet hope for a woman whose desire it
is to be a "woman".......

yet, "there is no wickedness liken unto the wickedness of a woman":-((((((

and "from clothes come the moth, and from women wickedness""-((((((

sad but true, and recorded many moons ago!

yet, i believe there are women who have "seen" their need and
whose conscience has not been "seared with a hot iron", i believe
there are women whose desire it is to be a woman!

and one such woman's testimony was posted at the head of this thread.

so, while there is breath(spirit) there is hope!

hope that there woul be other women who would take heed unto
their Creator and desire to be what HE intended them to be.

oh, the blessedness of a "help meet" in the service of Our Father!

peace, even as war(spiritual and carnal) rages....... francisco
http://ASpiritualJourney.Org

 

sad for such ignorance:-(((((((

not a question of blame, but of Truth!

and Truth is today there are more he/she's and she/he's then
there are men and women.......

and they are very "gay" in their perverse "death"styles.......

simply, dis-ease, disorder and delusion are their legacy.

yet, while there is breath(spirit) there is hope!

hope there would be those who "see" that The Life is for those
whose desire it is, to be that which they were created to be.

Creations Genius is revealed to all who desire above all else:

"Father, not my will, But THY Will Be Done"!

peace, even as war(spiritual and carnal) rages....... francisco
http://ASpiritualJourney.Org

 

wanted to add here, for clarity.......

no, i do not believe that all the perverseness, dis-order, and
dis-ease of this day is of the woman, for there are multitudes
of men who choose to follow and do the will of women.

yet Truth will remain that it was "the woman who was deceived and
and transgressed" against The Creator:-((((((

yet, while there is breath(spirit) there is hope!

hope there would be those who "see" "the simplicity that is in
The Messiah" and in "seeing" take heed unto The Call of
The ONLY TRUE GOD to:

"Come out of her, MY people......."

all who "come out" of this wicked world(babylon) and it's systems
of religion and begin to "set their affections on things above" will
begin to receive of Our Father, for they will begin to follow
"The Way to The Truth of The Life" as revealed in the
Teachings and The Life example of The Messiah.

and The Messiah desired above else:

"Father, not My will, But THY Will Be Done"!

simply, such desire is "The Way to The Truth of The Life".......

peace, even as war(spiritual and carnal) rages....... francisco

 

That (in bold) seriously shocked me

 

Francisco,

There are still many good women in this world. I knew one intimately who was a great mother (she had two children from a previous marriage; her ex-husband was an old friend, who became an enemy, who became a friend, and who was a womaniser). I should have married her. But her children scared me. I was a coward and the scripture of condemnation of marrying a divorced person posioned my soul. My being divorced (my wife threw me away) caused me scriptural anguish - actual soul-deep anguish ('think the' first Superman movie where he finds Lois Lane dead and he cries out from the depths of his soul).

My mistake was marrying young and marrying my first (we were both virgins). We played the usual games couples do and paid the price. She refused me sex for over 9 months and I finally went outside the marriage for it. Later I found out that she was having an affair with the man she would eventually marry. While I was watching NFL football on Sundays she was dallying with her lover, after telling me that she was going to see her mother.

We were both church going Christians who got swept up in the world. The only thing she left me was my bed and stereo. But at least I knew months before that we were headed for divorce. It was coming and there was nothing I could do.

The divorce rate is about 75% now. So at least 75% of the women are being thrown back into the pool. Women lament that it is hard to find a good man, but it is just as hard to find a good woman. I'm still holding out for a good woman, but I may have to go to the old country to find her. The fear is that she will get corrupted once she enters American society (I've seen it time and again).

Such is life.

Is there any hope for the divorced person in God's grand plan for humanity? If one reads the scriptures literally, one is doomed to eternal damnation.

 

and what is marriage?

certainly not "colored marks written on a dead tree" for a fee?

no "license" to "marry" can join two together as one.......period.......

and no "frocked, unfrocked, defrocked, ordained, commissioned, authorized"
person(pastor, minister, priest, rabbi, elder, deacon, judge,,,etc,,,) can join
two together as one.......period.......

what is believed to be "marriage" in this time of "strong delusion" is but a
contractual agreement that borders on insanity and is most certainly of
"the god of this world" and his heretical systems of religious dogma......."

and so if there never had been a marriage, if there never had been a husband
and wife joined together as one by The ONLY TRUE GOD, how then can there
be a divorce?

a broken contract, yes. and in most cases the man must pay, yet in this
perverse time it is hard to determine who the "man" is and so often times
today the she/he pays the monetary price for the broken contract and at
times the physical man will receive "custody" of the children, even if he did
not "father" them.

and if one believes that the methods of "christianity" can fulfill the purposes
of marriage as instituted by The ONLY TRUE GOD, well such a person has
been deluded to the utmost.

such a one needs cry to Our Father for understanding, and when one receives
understanding, it will then become clear that "christianity" is Anti-Messiah,
which is to be anti-marriage!

and all "who love this world and their own life in it" "fall" under the influence
that is the "strong delusion" of this world's religious systems. for those who
"see" how evil those systems are generally tend to desire to be "free" from
all "spirituality(atheistic)". and so they also remain but servants and slaves to
"time".

so the need for all to heed The Call of The ONLY TRUE GOD and:

"Come out of her, MY people......."

so the need to "come out" of this wicked world(babylon) and it's systems
of religion. all who do so will quit serving "time" in the prison that is this
world for they will "set their affections on things above", and as The Messiah,
they also will desire above all else:

"Father, not my will, But THY Will Be Done"!

simply, such desire is "The Way to The Truth of The Life".......

peace, even as war(spiritual and carnal) rages....... francisco

 

*

 

{déjàvu, or I saw your response to the above in a dream months ago.}

I think that man wrote that contract so that he would make sure that his property went to his true heir, that the woman would be his property. But said marriage goes back to the very beginning of civilisation and is not limited to just Christianity, or any religion. At best you can rail against American society or the material world. Man may not live 'by bread alone' but he still needs bread, he still has to be part of the world.

 

ah, the simplicity of "in, not of, this wicked, evil world".......

for The Children of The ONLY TRUE GOD have taken heed unto HIS Call
and "Come out of her......." they have come out of this world and her
systems of religion....... "in, not of, this wicked, evil world" indeed!

"marriages" of the mind and flesh, have been, and will always be.......
hope is that there would be those who would "see" what "marriage" is.......

and civilization? "either you heathens and savages do what we say or we'll
kill you".......

"man" writing a contract is a bit different than "government" taking such
writing and enforcing said "contract".......and then to need a "license"?
well i guess it gives woe-man the "license" to rule these days:-((((((

yet those insecure, fearfilled, fleshly ones who but serve "time" in the prison
that is this world, they need such "government" and their security is their
"contract". oh, how woefull:-((((((

a man, and a woman, truly joined together as one, they know who their
"governor" is and HE has provided the marriage "contract".

"woman created as a help meet for man's service to The Creator", "a woman's
body is not hers but it belongs to the man, and the man's body is not his, but
it belongs to the woman", "come together often lest you be tempted of the
devil because of your lack of self-control", "wives submit yourselves unto your
husband", "husbands love your wives", "let the women be keepers at home,
teaching the children", "the man is the head of the woman", "i suffer not a
woman to teach nor ursurp the authority of the man".......

"let the women be of a meek and quiet spirit, let their chaste life be the
example for all to see","let the women be as sarah, who called her husband
"Master", "the man is to show respect unto the woman, realizing she is the
weaker vessel",,,etc,,,.

"marriage"?

as in all things, the "god of this world" and his systems of religion have their
imitations, their images. and when one realizes that atheism is a religion:-((((((

may you "experience The Messiah and The Power that resurrected Him"!

peace, even as war(spiritual and carnal) rages....... francisco