some of you on here must have had kids that went through their teenage years. so is it normal for a 13 year old girl to bunk school in the summer, lie to her dying dad where shes going at nite and with who and generally cause the family home to be a warzone and everyone around her to dispair of her behavior?
<<some of you on here must have had kids that went through their teenage years. so is it normal for a 13 year old girl to bunk school in the summer, lie to her dying dad where shes going at nite and with who>> I have 3 grown daughters and I don't find that behaviour unusual. I'm especially thinking about daughter #2, now 24 and happily married to the young man with whom she engaged in the above when she was 13. << and generally cause the family home to be a warzone and everyone around her to dispair of her behavior? >> I'm suspicious that it is dying dad and everyone around her who is causing the problem, not her. She just wants to do what she wants to do, which is what everybody wants, and it is others who are trying to impose their will on her that is causing the friction.
All of the above, in the title post, are pretty much the way it was for me and my friends when we were that age. Cutting the apron strings can be adversarial, rebellious, and a challange for all parties involved. All kinds of behavioral problems seem to pop out of nowhere at this age... but if the girl was not raised in secure and receptive enviornment from an early age, the constant stress of family life... which releases cortisol, a neuro-hormone that actually destroys the brain tissue of the cortex, temporary brain damage can result. Stress during childhood also sets up the Flight, Fight, or Freeze reactions as a permanent way of dealing with stressful situations too... so to call a physiological response, resulting from stress, a behavioral problem is not where it's at. Learning to modify reactions to stressful situations by providing rewarding outcomes is a much better way for a person to deal with this very real, physiological outcome of stress. Only problem is... it takes most folks until well into their adult lives to recognize this, and longer to find a way to deal with it.
If it's any consolation, my sisters are worse. One is fucked on bars all the time and having sex with men years older than me and the other is a drop out wino with no job who hangs with a four hundred-pound gangster.
As usual, Sam has wise words and I agree. I have a daughter and two sons who are now in their late thirties, when they were that age I was on my own with them and we had a rough time with money. I was very tolerant of them because I remembered what it was like at that age and I remember having said to myself, self I said, when you have kids be kind and loving to them no matter what. I did just that and, I think because I had them so young, we grew up together. I told them I trusted them to do the right thing and respected their judgement and they knew they could always come to me about anything. They were and still are my friends. My daughter and I clashed a lot at times when she was older and my oldest son caused a few problems ( walked by a cop car and said "fucking cops" and got his ass dragged to the police station). I understood though, I used to call them fucking pigs (they were and still are), so who was I to judge. You will get through this time and be a better person for it if you don't do anything too stupid. You are our hope for the future, don't screw it up any more than it already is. Listen to Sam and deal with your stress in a positive way.
Hey, I just noticed you are from Brighton. I am from Northampton and grew up in the UK. I was born in WW11 and had to live through the aftermath for years. Us kids did whatever we wanted, I was smoking and drinking by the time I was 15. But it wasn't so dangerous then. Be careful and deal with the stress as best you can. The people in this forum are always here if you want to talk.
it's nprmal tleast from what i've seen, I have alot of friends like that. try and not be so controling or they will hate you and just be worse. i'm not a parent so I don't know anything aboiut child rearing but i'm sure theres people here who can help you.
I can tell you that my sister is evil and she is 13 so.. yea sounds normal.. 13-17 are hell years.. Its funney cuz im a 15year old boy but I know plenty of older girls cuz I go to a very small school in Little Rock, Ar. and everyone knows eachother.. even the girls who are more conservitive do stuff like that.. u shouldn't get mad but u know dont let them walk over you someone i know's fauther let them and now she is 19 and pregnent.. and has an STD.. and may be into crack... so u know.. Oh crap.. I hope I havn't scared you. lol . oh well I would think you'd know best but yes it is normal.
