Yup... this year's FlyFest will be kick starting the whole Live8 shebang... You see, it started when Sir Bob phoned me up... and ranted at me... it went something like this... Fly... Hello? Bob... Is that TheFly? Fly... Yes, who's speaking please? Bob... Shut the fuck up... people are fucking dying you welsh fuckwit... Fly... But- Bob... Don't fucking "but" me, you fucking wanker! Bob Geldof here... that'll be Sir fucking Bob fucking Geldof to you, fuck features! Fly... Ah- Bob... Precisely! And what the fuck are you going to do about it? Fly... Um- Bob... Good, glad you agree. Now, I've been told this FlyFest is pretty fucking amazing due to some arrangment with God... don't know how the fuck you managed to get that sorted... I thought Bono was the only fuckwit who God talked to directly! Fly... Well- Bob... Yes, we need loads of fucking wells! But buying wells is not the fucking answer!! Fly... Oh- Bob... So we're agreed then... FlyFest will kick start the entire Live8 event... with the best artists from across time and all that fucking bollocks! And it had better be good or I'll send Elton round to give a right fucking kicking you piece of fucking shit!!! (sound of line going dead) Fly... Hello? Hello? So... get your tents ready... get those cardboards boxes ready for the bottom of your garden... this time it's personal... coz I don't want to be done over by Elton John... the fucking eejit... Fly...
Hooray By the way, may I interest you in a Power Insurance Policy. We cover you in case of any violent Elton John or cheese-related injuries.
Bring Bring... Fly... Hello? Bob... Right, who've you got? Fly... Okay, urban music is big, right? So who better than The Bard of Birmingham, Mike Skinner and The Streets... paired with the OG... or rather, the OB... the Original Bard himself... William Shakespeare... giving it some blingin' beats and rhymes... (long pause) Bob... Is that it? Fly... Well, for a start. Bob... (calls off) Elton, get ready you fucking eejit!! I can see Elton getting changed into his rubber apron. Yup, he's polishing his truncheon!!! Fly... I'll get back to you! Bob... Do that you fucking fuckwit!!! (line goes dead) Phew... better not tell him about his special acoustic slot with Mariah Carey then... Fly...
Did anyone else get the vivid mental image of Hermia rejecting Demetrius, then Lysander strolling in singing "Dry Your Eyes, Mate"? Haha
Bring Bring... Bob... Whoever you are, fuck off! Fly... It's me, Bob. TheFly! Bob... You'd better have a good idea this time. I could barely hold Elton from racing out the door! Fly... Right! Bob... So? Fly... So, you like ROCK yeah? Bob... Yeah, so fucking what? Fly... How about giants of ROCK... none other than... QUEEN!!! Bob... Who cares? Fly... No, I'm not talking about some bollocks Queen that features Brian May and some bloke he got down from the pub... no, the original... I've got Freddie to agree to come back from the dead for one night only... Bob... Okay! Fly... But more than that, what could make Queen even more ROCK... picture this... Queen start the drum break into "We Will Rock You" supported by an army of one million Orcs... how's that for fucking ROCK!!! (long pause) Fly... Do I need to start running? Bob... Could you get that guy with the beard and funny hat who did the firework shit? You know that fucking Geldof the Grey magician bloke. Fly... Sorceror, you mean. Bob... Well, it's a kind of magic!!! (pause) Fly... Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... Bob...Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... Fly... Fucking deal... headline Saturday night... now all I need to do is to get God to agree to duet with Bono... Bob... Fuck off, that was my idea! (phone line goes dead) Fuck, I forgot to mention the new Rolf Harris Death Metal Band... Fly...
Corr blimey..... i'm exstatic.. the line up rawks Fly.. you've done Fly8 proud... ask Bob if Elton could do us a little show.. this ruber apron and trunchen deal sounds for to intrueging to misss!
