Darnit, I live in New Hope- NEW HOPE!!!! The gayest small-town ever, and there are NO gay kids or bi guys to date! (Besides one kid who I'm not friends with). Whyyyyyyyyyy! Im sure some of you read my posts baout my friend Mike, but I think I've given up on him...I need to move on, I'll still be his good friend and everything, but I'll just haveta let it go- if he IS actually bi then I'll find out sooner or later. But now what gets me is that my friends sister has a friend from Germany visiting, and he is gay. Now, I don't have a crush on him, but its sad because he is exactly the type of guy I would want to date- he's intellignet (he speaks nine languages fluently), funny, down-to-earth, he's a hippy, fun, and cute, lol. I guess that soudns like I have a crush, but I really dont. But it makes me sorta frustrated because I want to find a guy to date badly, and he's the type of person I'd want to be with... but Im not going to just find someone and go out with him for the sake of it- I want to find someone I like. But it seems hard...maybe once Im out of highschool and in the real world it'll be easier? I hope so...
Damn, at least your somewhat out of the closet. I'm still dangling from a hanger! But, I know how you feel. Especially since we're still young and our access to the gay/bi community isn't exactly wisdespread. Travel and independence are two important aspects that enable human beings to explore and discover. Since we're not yet considered adults, that's an obstacle. But anyway, being in the closet for me isn't easy since my chances of dating are slim. If no one knows about it, then I can't easily meet other gay guys that I can relate with. And because of THAT, I'm always desperate to miraculously find a way to be with a guy, and my interests widely range from several straight and gay people. So as you can see, my situation has also led me with the desire to date guys because I'm desparate. It's frustrating! Felt like I'd rant with you since you're not all alone, lol.
i can't help feeling that ur friend mike is worth jumping anyway: bi, gay or not. he's certainly leading u in that direction. i think lots of guys r more bi or gay than they care to admit. when i go to indonesia or thailand i meet lots of 'straight' guys and nearly all of them want to/can have sex with me if i want to. i know that's not the same as dating but my point is lots of guys are very flexible. they only need a friend like u to give them a helping nudge in the right direction. good luck
If I were you, I'd at least spend some time with the German guy. OK, so you don't have a crush on him. At the very least, it sounds like you need gay friends. Talk to him; if nothing else, he has the advantage of being someone who you can see face to face. You have some nice things to say about him and he's gay. Don't "date" him, but get to know him and enjoy his company. I have never felt that having a crush on a guy was a requirement for dating him. Some guys I've had crushes on have turned out to be real jerks. Other guys who I didn't give a second look turned out to be really special. What I would have you do is meet as many gay guys in your age group as you can. Right now, you may have to rely on the Internet or other similar outlets. If it means going to Philadelphia or some other big city for a day, do it. There are some good people out there, and you probably won't develop crushes on too many of them. Go out, meet people and have fun...and be fun to be around.
If you're looking for gay youth info, try PFLAG www.pflag.org and check for a nearby chapter. They may be able to turn you onto something in your area.
yeah..I am totally out of hte closet, everyone I know knows that I am bisexual, and prefer guys. The onyl thing with the German guy is that he is here visitng my friends sister, not me, so the amount I have to hang wiht him is limited. THe good thing is that whenever I do hang out with my friend, her odler sister and the GErman guy like to hang with us, and let us hang with them- and I hang with my friend every day almost, so that's good. Its just I feel like if I were to have a conversatoin about homosexuality, I would rather it be when my friend and her sister weren't around, even though they both know about me. It just may be awkward for them, beacuse they'd just haveta sit there and listen to us talk, cuz they can't really relate to us. I'm sure that before he leaves for Germany again- july 17th- I'll be able to have atleast one conversation wtih him about homosexuality, hopefully. Its just frustrating seeing someone who would be really cool to date if he were 1.) my age and not 20, and also if it would 2.) not be incredibly awkward and just plain not work out. Its almost a tease, its like "Hey Dylan, I'm the type of guy you'd want, but we aren't gonna date because it would be awkward and wouldnt work out and I'm only going to be here for just under a month, so sorry!" ugh...hopefully someone will pop up for me Cheers and Love, Dylan
Dylan, I understand that you are frustrated. Consider this scenario: You talk to your friend or your friend's sister or both and explain that you would like to talk to the German guy alone. If you get grief about it, explain that you have very few chances to talk to another gay guy and that you really need to talk to this guy alone--to compare notes. The German guy was almost certainly a 15-year-old gay guy himself a few years ago, and if he's as decent a guy as you make him sound, I think he'd be willing to talk with you. If nothing else, he'd probably be willing to let you vent to an understanding ear. This guy could be a great friend even if you don't date. Meeting and talking to at least one gay guy you think is cool is going to be great practice for when you do meet someone more datable. Don't deprive yourself of a good experience just because it's not going to be a great or perfect experience. I know you don't want to hear (read?) this, but you'll be 18 years old soon. You're going to have more opportunities to meet guys, and life will get better.
