Ok, i have been reading alot in this womens issues forum, and it seems like there are alot of women out there that really care about people, and are real mommys. So i thought i would see if anyone can relate with me, or give me advice that truly wants to help.... Well, i am a junior in high school, and to be honest, i hate school. i try to stay out of it as much as possible. I just cant comprehend the reasoning behind keeping growing kids inside a building 6 hours a day 5 days a week. but ive always barely passed my classes, just trying to get out of the place....but my mom was scared i would fail so... they put me on adderallXR, and at first i really did well!! i went to all my classes and took time to do my work. but as time went on, i started to realize i lost my soul. i had become like every other kid in school, brainwashed to be like everyone else ... i had no personality. i wasnt sleeping, i wasnt eating, i sat around and cried. but ohh i did my school work!! and thats what is important right? now if thats what life is all about, then i dont want any part of it. but im being optimistic, and i know theres so much more to life. so i went off adderall. but i did even worse in school, i failed every subject last semester, because i never even went to school, and if i did, i just slept. my parents got really worried. so today i went back on my adderall, and i stayed in school all day long, but the whole time, i didnt tlak to anyone, i just went to my classes, did my work and came home. but throughout the whole day i was depressed. literally, i have never felt that crappy in my whole life. i cried in the middle of class for no reason. in one class i just told the teacher i had to go outside to fresh air, and walked out. i really want to just get high school over with. i have so many ideas and plans for afterwards. but i dont want to drop out (well my parents would never let me) and i dont want to fail all my classes because then i would have to go to summer school, or repeat another grade. but i cant believe that adderall is the only answer anyone has come up with to help me. ive tried to be a strong person and just suck it up... but everytime i think about school, i just think of another reason how messed up it is. please ill take any advice... i hate the person i am when im on my medicine. i cant do this everyday
It sounds like either you are on too high of a dose (how much are you taking?) or it is the wrong med for you, or maybe you don't actually have ADHD. Did a psychiatrist or a neurologist diagnose you? Or a pediatrician? My oldest dd is on regular Adderal. (She tried the XR and it made her feel nasty and awful) and it does not effect her personality. She has true ADHD, and functions better on the med than without it.She is happy on the meds, she says it helps her focus without weirding her out, and she is nice and quirky, the drug has done nothing to change that, I am grateful to say. I would get a second opinion from a Specialist, a Psychiatrist or a Neurologist. Adderal and drugs like it should never be used to CONTROL children, they should be for children who do not function well without it. Good luck honey.
I started at 10mg, and moved up to 20mg... both gave me the same effect. My dad and my brother both have been diagnosed with ADHD, and i had the same symptoms and such as my brother, so they just guessed i had the same problem as him. I did try to go get a different medication, but the one they gave me (concerta) made me sick to my stomach everytime i took it.
If it is keeping you awake at night you probably shouldn't be taking it.If you truly have ADD or ADHD you would have what they call a "paradoxical effect" Adderol is in the same family as speed (Methedrine,Dexidrine,etc.) It stimulates most normal people,but when given in the proper dose to the hyperactive it helps them to concentrate and slows them down. From what little you have said,I think you have an emotional or psychological problem with school,or actually school might be having more of a problem with you. I think you need to find someone that you can really comunicate with,like a councillor or a psychologist that can help you make sense out of why you feel the way you do.Maybe help get you into some alternative education so you can learn stuff that makes sense and won't leave you totally inprepared for some of the tough stuff that life could throw at you later,without being as stupid as school often can be. It's not always a young persons fault that they don't get by in school,sometimes the school just sucks.,But that doesn't mean you don't still need an education.
hmm, perhaps you should look into a GED? high school just isnt the way for some people, and many colleges accept GEDs instead of a HS diploma. just a thought
I would advise you to talk to your doctor about it. Let them know what's going on. Maybe they can try you on something else. My stepson has ADHD (among other things) and we had to try several different medications, before we finally found the combination (yes, he took more than one) that worked for him.
Also, see a specialist and maybe try regular Adderall. My dd says the effect of the XR (which is an extened release tablet, developed so parents wouldn't forget the afternoon dose and so school nurses didn't have to be bothered giving it out in school) is nasty and keep her up at night. Maybe plain, regular acting Adderall is best for you, or maybe something else. I would see a good Psychiatrist (I know, but they do know ADHD) or a Neurologist to help rediagnose you and set up a treatment plan that you will feel normal on. If you feel like garbage, the drug isn't doing you any good.
You could also check into homeschooling. I have heard of some teens getting their education via a correspondence or online method. Maybe you just need to change the enviroment in which you learn.
thats actually what ive been looking into Bree! just homeschooling or internet can get pretty expensive compared to public school. but changing my enviorment, most likely i think im just going to move across country to live with my sister ... would this help me at all? im scared my problem is going to stick with me no matter where i go
im not too familiar with knowing about diagnosis and actually i think that more than 1/2 of the time, ADHD is just a bunch of crap that adults put on their kids when their child doesnt fit the "mold". i think you should move with your sister...i would, and maybe still look into homeschooling. i just want to give my support, cause im a junior in high school, and im in MD too, and im going thru situations with my parents also. not so much as in school, b/c i guess im lucky enough to enjoy it. or maybe the trick is to make the most of the your surroundings. but man, school isnt for everybody, and as long as your willing to work hard for your goals, i think you can make it. but a degree will always be a "fall back" plan. but most of all, i wanna just say, i mean for teens that kinda go against the grain with parents who are so caught up into comparing you to the "normal" teen suit, its not easy. i mean, literally, last night i made the declaration that im going to live away from my home when i graduate...i guess what im trying to say is that i know how it feels, my parents say stuff like that always (but luckly they havent done it, and i applaud you for taking it on your moms request, b/c i dont think i wouldve done so, which shows your trying, and not just some rebel without a cause) but what ive recently realized is that someway you have to wein from it the more important your induviduality is to you.
underwhelmed~ First of all, I can see that you are a smart girl by the way you write, and by the way that you are in touch with your instincts and intuition. There is nothing wrong with you, and I have been where you are and I have come out of it into a comparatively joyful place. I can help you. Answer these questions with your heart first (your mind will run away with this and take you with it, but go with your heart or gut feeling) Could the people who love me (your family) and the people who tell me they know what's best for me be wrong in giving me drugs that make me into an average, unhappy homework machine? Could the people who love me be so blinded by wanting me to 'succeed' and fair well in the world, that they cannot see that these drugs and this school is making me unhappy and dissatisfied, --making me doubt that this world could possibly be a place of beauty, peace and serendipity? I'm going to tell you something that will make your heart gasp with joy and relief (because it knows this to be true), and the part of you that listens to your parents and school will almost as quickly swoop down to try to snuff out any hope and calm knowing. Did your guidance counsellor ever tell you to consider quitting school? That you have other choices, quite beyond lifelong hamburger flipping or inner-city crack dealing? That legally you can find a way out of school, that once you're out you'll learn and grow better, faster, and more naturally than you ever did in school, that there are zillions of alternatives, that you can quit school and still go to A Good College and even have a Real Life in the Suburbs if you so desire? Just in case your counsellor never told you these things, I'm going to. I suggest you go to the nearest library and take out the book The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education by Grace Llewllyn. I used to go to a public school of 2000 students, I was on Celexa (anti-depressant, anti-anxiety), I was a depressed pot-smoker, my grades had gone from mostly A's and a few B's to almost failing and some failing. I was fearful and unhappy and scared and disappointed with life, careless, mean and hurtful to myself (physically and emotionally). After the first term of 2003 I left. I am now part of the Self Design Learning Community. I'm off Celexa as of a year and three months ago I'm a crazy, easily-excitable, nice, free, forest-loving, artistic, conscious, aware, listening, enthusiastic, learning, growing Alivist. My life is so chock full of miracles that I can't comprehend it. Every day something surprises me and fills me with ecstasy. You're parents, the ones who love you, the ones who have taught you much of what you know, are likely going to give you the most trouble if you so decide to get free of drugs and school. But let's save that for later. PM me when you've read the book. While you're at the library, I also suggest picking up a copy of From Magical Child to Magical Teen: A Guide to Adolescent Development by Joseph Chilton Pearce (alternative title: Magical Child Matures). Another excellent book. Don't be intimidated by the ridiculous-rebellious titles of these books. If you are, I can give you some exerpts to entice your natural curiousity: http://www.lowryhousepublishers.com/tlh excerpts.htm base site:http://www.lowryhousepublishers.com/TeenageLiberationHandbook.htm Trust yourself. Even if it means not saying no to your parents, Adderall, even me.
flythefloydflag, i hear ya Thank you white ginger, i think i really need a high dose of inspiration. Ill pick up that book today. I just have to find out how to go the right way about all this...but im figuring it all out
I definitely agree with a lot of people in this thread. To me ADD and ADHD is shady business that you really have to be careful about. It seems that anytime a child has a problem that automatically the answer is to medicate them instead of actually dealing with the fact that it could be something else. I was on regular adderal for about 3 years before switching to XR and I hated it. I felt like I was constantly having an out of body experience. I felt like a ghost that was just floating around, like I had no real thoughts or purpose, a robot. When I turned 16 my parents gave me the choice of going off of all pills and it was the best thing I ever did. I was forced to take responsibility for my school work and my life without the pills. I met with my guidance counselor and really took my education into my own hands, maybe votech or even breaking up school with work release could help. I'm not saying what you should do or anything, but I think either a change of medication or just re-evaluating could be what you need. Diagnosing ADD or ADHD at 17 is a lot different than it is with kids. Everyone has their own experiences though.
jusst a thought- did you ever consider trying a natral (herbal) "medication" (lol...i dont mean drugs...)Ive tryed severaly and diffrent ones seem to work well for me. there was this on vitamin shake i was on for awhile that really helped me...but was allso rather expensive. i tryed figuring out what exactly helped my ADD but im not sure. i know vitamin B helped my depression.....none of the stuff had negative effects on me
under, dear, have you tried therapy. I am the parent of four kids. Two medicated for ADHD, one with ADD and not medicated, and one who is only 5 and we aren't too worried. IMO, (as a mama, and with having a degree in Psych and a MS in Child Development) is that ADD and ADHD are REAL diagnoses. As is Depression. Throwing a pill at a child every day won't solve the problem, BUT often the meds and therapy together can really help. MOST kids with ADHD are depressed at one time or an other. I think every child who is prescribed these drugs needs to be in therapy for at least a year or more. Talk to you mom and dad. See a pediatric neurologist (that is who treats my kids for adhd and Tourette's syndrome, NOT a pediatrician) and get into some good one on one AND family therapy with a well trained child psychologist. And living with your sister won't change your brain chemistry. If you have ADHD and or Depression, living somewhere else will just move the problem. This needs to be dealt with, and it can be, but your parents have to pur more effort into it than JUST a pill once or twice a day. Take care, sweetie. Therapy can really make a GIGANTIC difference. There is HOPE!!!!!!!!
I do that every school day, go to school, talk only when spoken too, and feel awful. I know that some collage students take adhd medicine so that they can study/focus, but the side effects are truly awful, similar to what you described. If its keeping you up and effecting your eating you shouldn't be on it.
