I know it may sound trivial and I know that I am not the only one who thinks this but... I CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME. And i HATE that I do care. I give off the impression that I don't care, but yet inside... deep inside... it really bothers me to think of what people are saying. And this is something i just recently started to accept. Sometimes, well lately, i've been feeling so lonely. Like I just have few true friends and I know its true because I'm very careful about who I choose to get close to. I get depressed. I've only recently came to this conclusion because I used to be in denial about it. I used to tell myself that NO, I DON'T CARE! But, i do and that's my weakness. But this is what really bothers me... there is this group of people, specifially girls, where i work. Well, I don't like them and I'm sure they know that and, in return, dislike me. I REALLY DON'T LIKE THEM. They annoy me yet it seems that everyone else likes them (my other co-workers, even the ones who are my friends). And I've finally accepted that... I want them to like me. And I want to like them too. I guess I just want to be accepted, even if it's to a group that I can't stand. WHY IS THIS???? I don't understand. There is a rational part of me that is saying, 'Be yourself and don't care about anything else' yet the other part of me wants me to be "fake" in other words to not be myself, and just try to fit in. This bothers me. I have friends, true friends who love me and accept me just how i am. And i like myself... at least, i liked myself when I didn't give a fuck what people thought. Even through high school (and its petty drama) I kept my tough girl exterior. Does anyone have any thoughts or words of wisdom? I think this may be a faze... I hope it is. But yeah, thanks for reading and thanks in advance for your responses. They will truly be appreciated. -Beetle
Well there is nothing wrong with wanting people to like you or caring what people think about you. I mean, is it better to want people to not like you? Or to be an asocial hermit? You have probably met folks with a "Well I don't give a shit what you think of me" attitude, generally those people are assholes. Similarly you probably have met folks who want to make sure that everyopne knows just how tough they think they are; also assholes. The problem arises not when you care what people think about you but when your life begins to center on what other people think about you. It's a matter of giving such things their proper significance. If you start doing stuff that is harmful to yourself or others just so that people will like you then there is a problem, similarly there is a problem if you significantly alter you habits or lifestyle so that people will like you. It's all a matter of porportion, if you go too far one way you'll turn into an asshole or a hermit, too far the other way and you'll be a miserable, wimpy, kiss-ass.
"It's all a matter of porportion" exactly... always the middle road, it's ok to be "fake" to a certain degree to avoid useless conflict and dramas just so long as you dont sacrafice your "true self"
This is so well put. Thanks for your words, Professor. And thanks for caring enough to reply. Thank you too, Xac.
caring what people think of you keeps you normal. you conform to societal norms-which can be a good thing. your personality should be more definitive within or on the near ooutskirts of them but not deviant. basically being a follower isnt a bad thing as long as you know how to lead yourself.
I care to a certain extent what people think of me too... but I try not to think about people opinions of me too much.
Ahh, a woman after my own heart. I too care way too much about what people think of me, and I am almost 27 years old with 3 young children of my own. I will admit that I've relaxed a bit throughout the years, but I still focus way too much negative energy into worrying what others think. Why should I care? Why should I waste so much time trying to figure everyone else out? I shouldn't. Gradually, I'm learning that.
I didn't read the whole thing but it sounds like be aside from the fact that no one dislikes me b/c no one really knows me.
i know this sounds harsh, but honestly, these "true friends" probably only like you because they can get something from you anyway. it sounds bad, but it's the way people are, and you really can't get away from having to put on a face to be accepted. everyone wants to be liked, some people are just better at playing the game
