Tears in the Dirt I'm just another new cat from the scene I'll give anything to live out my dream I desire more than the fortune and the fame I want to make others feel what i feel from the blade I got my woman around to comfort me Could romance be the cure this fiend The love we make it feels so passionate I wish I could say it's better than a fix My self-destruction controls my brain These filthy needles left me cold out in the rain My second female to take away my sorrow Her intercourse is what's living for tomorrow Now I've crossed the wrong end of the line Damn I want to crush my ol ladies spine She broke my heart cold and got laid as I wept My only love now is the groupies in my bed As I think of her the hate rolls down my eyes When I get the fix I imainge crushing her smile Now my idol has become heroin Pain feels like pleasure as I cut across my skin Emotional security arrives when the needles sting The only high that makes me a loving being When it's all over I'll cry in the dirt My sorrow gave me romorse of my birth PS: I need criticism
the last stanza is by far the best. I think the rest of the song has good ideas and emotions, but it doesnt flow as well as it could. I would jsut try to make the rhythm a little better. But other than that, i think its a start to a really good song.
thanx guys for the advice on the rhythym. i can start wrokin on makin it fit in with the riffs. it should be simple to do.
I don't know enough about the mechanics of poetry so I wont critique it but I liked it and I feel your pain.
for some reason neil young "s needle and the damage done and lou reeds heroin came into me head...........yeah joker " a powerfull lyrical piece. hope you find the chords to accompany the lyrics .............peace
