Am I too easy going?

Me and my boy have been together 2 months now, and I'm starting to wonder if I dont expect enough... heres why

In the two months, I have been to his house at least twice a week... and he has been to my house once... He has a car, and I catch the bus, and when he picks me up, he picks me up half way, which is fine... but... it never goes the other way...

The other night was his birthday and we went out for a night on the town, before leaving I asked him if I should go to my after we'd partied house because I had to work the next day. He said he wanted to cuddle when he got home, and that could take me to work. So I agreed and went back to his house... by that time he had taken meth and dropped some acid....

he bounded in in the morning and was pretty persistent about having sex... he didnt make me do it, but we was on about it. I agreed... and 5 minutes later he was lying there, sleepy eyed... saying "I dont think I can take you to work babe, I cant concentrate on anything"...

So I caught the bus.

This morning he woke up.. and had to go to his youth worker course thingy... and he was late... and decided he was horny... he bugged me a little and we had a bit of fun, and then we slept together... He wasnt going to leave until we'd had sex, and sfter it was over he was all like, SOrry babe, i really got to go.... and left. leaving me considerably frustrated both mentally and sexually.....

do I expect to little??

 

I think he should seriously get off the meth..

I dont think its about him not loving you or using you.. Im thinking its the meth and he should get off of that stuff cause its well, its meth need i say more...
And if you dont feel like having sex, say i dont feel like it and if he is persistant about it, tell him he has a hand for a reason...But I really do think its the meth thats making him act that way...
has he always been like that, or recently..or has he always done meth and so forth..
This is merely my opinion, it may be wrong and such...but that is my take on the situation...

 

i would dump him you can do a hell of a lot better

 

Sounds like he isn't very dependable.. I would tell him to straighten up.. Relationships are 50/50.. I know you're grown up enough to know whether you want to be with him or not, but you should definitely tell him to get his act together..

 

It sounds like the relationship is a matter of convenience for him and a true show of your feelings for you. Pardon my judgement, but it doesn't sound fair for you. Find someone who treats you like your time with him is precious.

 

i think you should find someone you deserve. i know excitement is what you wanted but you deserve someone good.

what's there to love with a guy like that?

i surely wasnt that bad?

 

This has troubled me since I discovered women. The most beautiful women have the most troubled relationships.

Retro, you need to learn the six most valuable words ever strung together in the English language:

"You are here to serve me."

Trust me, it will solve 99% of your relationship problems.

 

I dont know. I think I'm bothered by the fact tat it doesnt bother me. I feel so stupid because logcially, I know that the fact that hanging out is always on his terms is crap and it should be 50 / 50, but at the time it doesnt seem to matter because I really do enjoy spending time with him, and I know he does me, but... I dont know, If he's worth my effort, surely if he loves me the way he says he does, then I too am worth the effort?

I mean, his house is as far away from mine as mine is from his...

The sex thing isn't really a big issue, but it is usually for his benefit, and I have spoken about it to him, and he says that's no good and he wants to fix it, but it doesnt translate.

As for the drugs, he doesnt take them all the time. It was his birthday... but what annoyed me was that I gave him the choice of saying no to taking me to work, and he said yes, and then didnt do what he said he would, which fucked me around, and I can't stand it when people fuck me around.

ARGH!

Why do things have to have so many rules and constraints and boundaries, why cant we all just be ourselves and be treated well.

 

Ok, this gonna hurt, but you got it coming. He's an asshole...... and so are you.

If I recall correctly, reading some post a month or so ago, you left some decent dude after sleeping with this asshole, am I right? Yet here you are, whining because your ASSHOLE is behaving like an ASSHOLE!!! Jesus.

Wake up! Try, try, try, and TRY not to be attracted to assholes. You KNEW this guy was an asshole, but hoped you'd change him and he'd be a bit more sensitive, and see what a wonderful woman you are right etc etc. Jeez, what a laugh!

You made your bed, honey, now lie in it.

 

okay, fair enough, but I can tell you it wasnt as clear cut as that.... I didnt write that post, he did.

 

I personally think that, not only that guy has a problem with himself that he needs to fix, but that he isn't fair to you at all, and a girl like you should be respected. Maybe you don't mind so much, maybe it's true you're easy going and all, but it's not good to let ANYONE step on your feet, even if you don't mind so much.

 

Listen, I didn't mean to be horrible or harsh, but I think YOU know you have to get rid of this clown, babes. You ARE still a very young woman, and life teaches us all hard lessons from time to time, and we ALL make mistakes.


If it is any comfort, I have been in virtually the exact same situation when I was about 28 or so.

Get rid of the 'Asshole Attraction' chain around your neck. In time, you will spot the assholes and be able to separate them from the REAL cool dudes.

Good luck and KNOW this clown is getting the better half of the deal, and making you look and FEEL a right fool. I suspect you are probably a pretty attractive chick, and I do not think you will be short of any male attention, so why put up with a chickenshit asshole, hmmm.

ANy problems, show him this post of mine and I'll come over and sort him out for you. I like Oz very much, my best mates all live there.....lucky bastards!

 

Yeah relatiionships are never strait forward, your fella doesnt seem like that bad a guy, sure he could have handled things better but it doesnt sound like he was intentionally trying to hurt you.

So my advice is this; if you are still having fun, the relationship still feels worth the effort and he recognizes his problems dont give up!

Basically, if you feel your life is better with him then keep him in it but also understand that you dont need him.

I should mention i havent slept in a long while so if this is shitty advice i apologise.

 

yeah, I know, what you said was fair, in a way though. But the truth is, I left said "decent bloke", because I wasnt romantically in love with him anymore, and the problems in our relationship werent really fixable. If I had stayed with him, just because he was a decent bloke, and not because I was in love with him, it would have made both of us very unhappy.

It wouldnt have been fair to me to keep him hanging there because he was convenient for me, just like its not really fair for my boyfriend to keep me there because I'm convenient for him. I know that he likes me, and I dont think he does intentionally try to upset me, I'm just concerned that he's doing his thing, and I havent got guts enough to tell him that his thing sometimes upsets me, and therefore I am letting myself down more than he ever could.
I've been in one way relationships all my life, and I know that I'm causing it to happen just as much as they are, I dont really know why I'm so freaking suprised when I realise yet another one is going down that path...

 

yes well i guess when your girlfreind needs to spend the night at other guys houses and is always pushing you away everytime some cute guy wanders by, then that is a problem that cant be fixed.

i just refuse to play stupid games of being an immature asshole just to keep a girl interested. instead I did things to better my situation. And yes often at the prompting of other people but i think that's better than being some brain dead asshole. Who for all I know probably only likes her because she looks nice and puts up with his shit. But i shouldnt say that because i wouldnt know. I just cant imagine what things they have in common really.

I dont know how Im supposed to feel when people I know and who know her new guy tell me my ex girlfreind is doing the wrong thing.

Its all really hard because we did have alot of interests and things in common. Me and her. But its harder for me because she is happy to go out with a wanker, but I want to go out with someone good. And its difficult to find girls who are what i like.

 

Aha. Yeah, riiiiiiigghht. You're breakin' my heart trying to find an excuse - which, you know, you won't - for staying with this joker. Let's just cut to the quick, here. You KNOW that sooner or later, you are going to have the guts to get rid of this asshole. It's a matter of time, but the longer you leave it, the more you damage your self respect AND your standing in your current environment/circle of friends as a person who appreciates their self worth. It is already damaged, if the truth be known, I suspect.

It is HIGHLY unlikely that HE is gonna find another chick like you; one that is attractive, but also not savvy to sorting out the assholes from the REAL men, ie not switched on, or - and I do not mean to be nasty, here - just plain stupid!

THAT is really what you are after, is it not? a REAL man. But, a real man would behave like one, AND treat you with respect, too.

This asshole ISN'T your boyfriend. Boyfriends don't act that way, they CARE about you, maybe not ALL the time, but they WOULDN'T behave like this piece of chickenshit.......and you know it. You WERE initially attracted to the characteristics that you found exciting and challenging, but you are now starting to realise he's a jerk - which, of course he is, and - believe me, I know his sort VERY well - he will hardly be able to believe his good fortune, BUT he knows it is BECAUSE he treats you like this, that you stay around! Yeah, are you getting this, babes? HE is getting what he wants, YOU aren't. A PROPER relationship is 50-50.

I would like to think you will do the right thing, BUT I have seen this sad, predictable scenario play out too many times through the years. Prove me wrong, Toots, and help yourself to a better relationship!

 

i always thought that anyone with self respect would want to be with someone they could be proud of.

 

no , not at all .....have fun with maby