"I'm not a feminist"

I'm new to these forums, and I searched for this topic, but so far I haven't been able to find one that discussed this issue.

Anyway, there is one thing that has come up many times in discussion with other women (including college-educated ones) that really bothers me. It's when a woman says, "I'm not a feminist". Really? You mean you don't believe in equal rights, equal pay, equal health care benefits? "I do, but I'm not a feminist".

I'm sorry, but I really find it so disheartening to hear that most women my age don't call themselves feminists. One woman actually said to me, "Come one..we just wanted to vote!" WHAT??? Without feminism, you wouldn't be attending college. You wouldn't be able to work and support yourself.

Why do some young women buy into the myth that all feminists are lesbians, rabid abortionists, against moral values, and of course, man-haters? Feminists come in ALL colors, creeds, religions, sexual orientations, and families. They see something such as feminism as "radical", and god forbid they appear radical in this day and age.

There are so many things that are still completely messed up in this world-rape, unequal pay, gender medical and research bias, reproductive rights, women who are forced to cover themselves completely and have their genitalia removed, childcare...etc. And you think feminism was only created so women can vote??????

I'm sorry, it's 4 in the morning and I should be sleeping..but god, this just really disappoints me. ::sigh::

 

Ime male. and ime not sure if ime allowed to post here or not...

but you mentioned the "women have to be completely covered up in some religeons" thing...I cannot see the point in that..

these religeons say that it is so that no other men can see the husbands woman...first of all thats completely wrong because it states that the man owns the woman (remember...in islam marriage isnt vows, its a contract) and second of all...so its alright for the man to be seen by other women?

Thurthermore...the male in these religeons is allowed numerous wifes (upto four i believe) which is completely unfair.....

I totally support you women on here who are protesting and fighting for equal rights, its a great thing your doing....i cant see why in 2004 or anytime, that women still havent got equal rights to men in some countries and religeons.
We'll get there sometime soon hopefully...


Peace xx

 

People think that all feminists are militant feminists. Those shitty Lifetime specials don't help that. Stereotypes really hurt us, and people don't want to be connected to them.

The man-hater thing bothers me. As you can tell from my board name, I do consider myself a feminist, but I don't hate men. I don't rush around pretending all men are evil and that bullshit. I like men.

I also have a problem with the people who refuse to recognize the differences between men and woman. There are differences. Neither gender is better or worse than the other, but that doesn't mean we're not different. Instead of hiding our differences, we should celebrate them! Woman should be proud to be woman, and men should be proud to be men.

 

Look... I think the reason that the females hold that image is because some of the feminists are highly agressive and assertive, not to mention some are a little over the top with their issues IE Sexualisation of Breasts (its the culture, get over it) that they think that in order to be feminist you have to worry about things like how to spell "Women." Whatever. I dont think it matters WHAT you call yourselves. For all I could care you could call yourselves the sister hood of dildo sappers and I would still show support for equal wages ect.

 

LoL! I am so naming one of my demos that.

 

You know what... I think Lifetime is the bane of feminists. Its always the same story in those movies. Woman is beaten and cheated on, Woman overcomes, man dies

 

Gotta admit, I HATE the Lifetime channel, too. All the men are horrible, all the womyn (sorry Lunacy ) are victims and the men have few redeeming qualities and "get thiers" in the end. NOT what feminism is about!

This is the contingent which doesn't want to take the responsibility of taking the reigns, but does want ALL the benefits and strides feminists have made over the past 100 or so years. I think many of them also think of feminists as "man haters" (which didn't come from Modern Feminism, but from those who feel really threatened by it, and those who, actually, HATE womyn!) but it pisses me off, because most of these womyn have no idea what things were like for a lot of womyn before the Movement. They want all the perks and none of the work. If you want the equal rights, the equal pay, the ability to prosecute for rape, date rape ect, the right to vote, ect, you ARE a feminist. No matter what you call youself.

 

anyone see the movie "Enough?" That was the biggest joke of a feminist movie ever...it was vile and disgusting.

 

Of course guys are welcome here. How can we have sexual discrimination in the very place we talk it though.

There are some terrible things done (not just to women) in the name of religion. Islam isn't the only one, but it can be pretty bad. Stoning for adultery, 'honour' killings etc.

Aww it's great to find a suppourtive guy. You can be an honourary sister if you like

TTFN
Sage

 

Awww thanks, I wasnt sure what to do because with it being womens issues i thought maybeits kind of a "men can post but not TOOOO much forum"

I dont understand how men and women arent equal in some peoples, countries, religeons eyes...

We are ALL human, We are ALL beautiful and we are ALL on the ame planet...

Equality for all is what I say!

 

Wow..I'm glad to see so many positive responses!! Yes, I believe that stereotyping has greatly damaged the ideal of the femimist. I just wish that so many people didn't buy into it.

I love men and women, andI do believe men can be feminists..though I'll admit, so far I haven't met any man IRL who calls himself one!!

It's the thought that counts..I agree with Maggie, if you believe in equal rights and such, that you are a feminist, whether you call yourself one or not. I just find it sad that young women today hesitate to call themselves one just because they buy into the stereotype of feminism.

I HATE the Lifetime channel too!! I really like O (oxygen), there's a lot of variety in their programming, they don't portray women as victims, a lot of their movies are almost soft-core erotica (but always women-positive), and they don't restrict themselves to only showing things that are considered more "liked" by woman. And I love Dr. Sue Johanson's show!!!!

LOL...that would make an awesome band name!!

Anyway, it's great to find a network of people with whom I can discuss this sort of thing and not be deemed "radical" (though I myself have no problem with being so) or to be told to "lighten up", which I've heard before (always from women).

 

i think every woman is a feminist in her own way. i think it depends on their beliefs. but otherwise if a woman believes that feminism is only for lesbians, then she must be a dumbass

 

This is theoretically what feminism was striving for, right? To get to the point where women can think for themselves, and not have to be dependent upon the dictates of others. This can't happen with feminism, though; feminists need women to be survile and dependent, or else they would have no purpose. The stigmas attached to being a feminist have been brought upon feminism by feminists themselves; all you have to do is sit down and read some feminist "literature" for a couple of hours to realize this--I have not read one feminist book that hasn't included hyperbolic, unfounded statements, hasn't distorted history and the truth to fit within the author's narrow ideological worldview, hasn't in some way made sexist statements about men. It's good that women refuse to associate with this, and it in no way means that their rights are or will be compromised.

 

i abosolutely believe in equal rights for women and for men - so I prefer to call myself an equalist rather than a feminist. it's a minor distinction, but its doesn't carry all the baggage (however unjustified) that 'feminism' does.

 

I'm all for equal rights for both genders...but forgive my ignorance..other than the difference in wages...what else do you all see as unequal(other than the topless thing which some push for)....?

Off the top of my head in the US...

men get paid more on average than women


women dont have to sign up for the draft.....

those are two things we'll have to correct for us to ever be truly equal.

 

What constitutes a lot of skin? The navel, leg above the knee, cleavage, neck?

My opinion is that any man who tries to tell his wife what is appropriate to wear, is trying to be a tad bit controlling. My husband wouldn't tell my braless ass to put on a bra because "it's too revealing." That's just not right.

 

Yes, thats wrong. If men and women are in the same position of power in the same company , they should receive same amount of wage according to their skill.

Unless you have a woman / man who is really sucking at that job, in that case they should fire him/her.

Also, what is up with this affirmative action thing? It is disgusting in that it is wrong. I don't believe in affirmative action for "women".

 

i agree it should be according to their skill...i think pay should be based on experience...if a male has more experience as say an associate professor he should make more than a female with less experience....likewise if the woman has more experience.

However, who is to say whats "more qualified?" Just because someone taught for 20 years doesnt make them "more experienced" or a "better" teacher. Thats unfortunately where the problems start arising. Its a judgment call based on the employer.

 

theres a LOT more to feminism than that. Someone who simply wants an education and work equal to males really may not be a feminist. While there is a HUGE range of feminism from the simple 'i want to be equal to men' to the militant feminist, not everyone who enjoys the ability to go to college and get a job is a feminist. I just took a class where a HUGE part was feminism (last semester) and it just seems that the full definition of feminism/everything feminists stand for isnt being taken into account.

While i whole-heartedly agree more womyn should support feminism and fight for feminist ideals, while i believe that weve made a lot of progress and that we have a LONG way to go, (and it is dissapointing when people get weirded out when i without second thuoght say that i am a feminist or get defensive about themselves NOT being feminist) i dont believe its worth stressing over those womyn who arent (or dont admit to being) feminists.

 

feminsim started out as the pursuit of broadly based, real, tangible change that very quickly effected positive change for those living in western industrialised nations... the ethos of the founding activist liberationists has been co-oped and subverted by the politicans who have hijacked that legacy and cynically use it to derive a power base by aligning with its constituancy... that legacy is then, in true political nature, manipulated to mean whatever the politicans say it means in order that they may maintain and expand their basis of power... one need only look at the in-fighting amongst feminists of variant politics eg. gender versus equity feminism, to gain insight into the vested interests of politicians... politicans can take any data set and spin completely different political mantras from the same data... people eventually grow weary of such blatant manipulation and start to disengage from the political parasites' pursuit of cynical ends... people then loose site of the fundamental ethos and begin to doubt it in the face of the relentless manipulation and intellectual dishonesty of the politicians who latched onto the hard won legacy of the activists... politicians invariably 'dishonour' the activist legacy, turn the whole thing into a show and slip us with the bait and switch... the labour union movement exhibits a similar evolution - from fighting for essential change in the face of massive resistance, to bringing about meaningful change to becoming the play ground of those hungry for power who happily sacrifice those they claim to represent in order not to give up any political turf... the marginal, peripheral and trivial is then elevated to a 'battle to the death' by politicans who will dress it up as relevant to the masses eg. the vast majority of women (and men) do not care about the demography of well-to-do blue-bloods who occupy the boardrooms, given that most of us are not interested in that life and dont buy into the idea that the basic motivations and behaviour of those in power (self interest and power) will some how change for the better due to colour/race/creed/religion/gender.
is it any wounder people recoil from aligning themselves with the self interested duplicity of self absorbed poltical pundits.