Ok, heres the story There was a girl at work who i was good friends with. Then I heard through rumors and such she had a crush on someone at work and a friend of mine semi hinted it was me. At the time I didnt think much of it and did nothing. I sort of just thought i would go with the flow. Then a few weeks later out of the blue for me she starts dating this other guy at work. So I now have to spend everday seeing them together which sort of makes me sad since I am now realizing I really really like this girl and maybe she did like me at one point so I regret not doing anything. I should also add when its just me and her together its amazing we have so much fun, (possibly even a little flirting but it might be my imagination wanting it) . When i see her with her bf and them together it rips me up. Sooo my question is what should I do? I dont like feeling gloomy all day this is really bumming me out! It might be my crazy mind at play but i feel like she was pressured into dating the other guy since after people guess she liked me they guess she liked him. Then the bf guy sort of pushed for dating her but she delayed for a while. And i feel she sort of then decided oh well with me since i wasnt do anything I guess i will date the other guy. Plus she still seems extremely overly friendly to me with hugs and always touching me AHHH!! ok i need some help.
hmm never thought about it that way but no i dont think she is I want to tell her i like her should I ?
If you can accept the possibility that she will turn you down, tell her. If you are ready for rejection, you have nothing to lose. It is MUCH better to ask and know than to wonder forever "what if?" Wanna hear my story? I married my high school sweetheart. I think we are soulmates. There is a small "but"... There was this girl. She was the first girl I really felt a connection to back in 7th grade. I was very down on myself then and thought she was out of my league. So, I didn't pursue her. Then high school rolled around and damn... She was soooooo gorgeous. She had the perfect figure. Not too skinny, and not too fat... just PERFECT. She had long flowing beautiful strawberry blonde hair that shined in the light like a crystal clear reflection... She would walk across the commons at school and I would literally stop breathing. I had music with her and she sat right in front of me. She would regularly lean over her chair and just stare into space. It seemed like she was staring at me. Take my breath away. Well, just as I was getting my courage up to ask her out, I discovered that she was dating a guy and they had been together for years. I couldn't get in the middle of that. School was over, she got married, and I married the girl I started dating after I decided I couldn't go for her. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE the girl I am with. I feel we are soulmates, but at the same time, this girl and I had such a connection... a different connection. Well, I didn't talk to her since school stopped, but one day I got an email out of the blue and we started talking. I found out that she had gotten divorced. I invited her to a pool party and she showed up. It was so wierd. We were both in the pool and the wife took a picture of us, but we both sort of tried to not get too close to each other... Well, over the last few years I professed my feelings for her, making it clear that nothing could happen now... But, dude, it was tragic. What if? And I am PERFECTLY happy now! Yet, still I wonder what if? Dude. Tell her how you feel right NOW! You will never forgive yourself if you don't.
Hey thanks alot thats a really inspiring story! What do you think about telling her while im drunk? It would make life so much easier for me since if she gives me the wtf? i could be like sorry i was drunk hehe what a cop-out i know. Whats ur thought? ohh im scared to do it
Would you rather find out now - Either she's not into you and you can move on and not dwell, or perhaps there's something there and who knows? - OR - Would you rather spend the rest of your life wondering if you HAD asked, what would have happened?
There's no way for you to know if she ever had feelings for you. You were told second-hand only that she had a crush on someone at work, not that she definitely had a crush on YOU. If she DID have a crush on you, she would have said something, or at the very least, drop you some not-too-subtle hints. So don't feel that you missed out on something, for perhaps she was never meant to be yours in the first place. Wish her the best in her new relationship and move on. Having said that, if her relationship with the other guy goes sour and they break up, you'll have an opportunity to comfort and reassure her in her down moments, but DON'T rush it. Let the healing process run its course. Then and only then should you drop a few hints about your interest in her. -- Skeeter
After reading your story, Hacker, all I can say is that in any relationship, there's a 50-50 chance that it can be the love of one's life, or it could be a nightmare. Since you're happily married with your wife, I say count your blessings and be grateful for the companion you have. Who knows? The girl you had a crush on since 7th grade may not have been right for you and had you gotten together with her, the relationship could have crashed and burned. There's simply no way to know for certain. So, to quote the Al Green song, "Be thankful for what you've got." -- Skeeter
Oh I am, but since things are SO good now, there's no drama, so I think I sometimes feel the need to fabricate some and wonder. I still talk to the crush, and my wife knows. We are both cool with it because we made it clear that we can't start anything now. But, when in talking we have found so many things about each other we love, and have in common. It's just a strange feeling of connection... almost a best friend type feel... So, I think about the what if occasionally. But, I am totally enamoured with the mrs. and she knows it. I could never cross that line. I have never had a desire to look elsewhere. There's just that one girl... I am confident that the line will never be crossed, but I just wonder sometimes. I also think that if the two of them were switched, I would still feel the same way. Wierd. The more things I find out about this girl, the more I love her, but the funny thing is, it also seems to make me notice the better qualities about the one I am with too. This "friend" has made me realize what I have and I have improved myself for her. God, I could talk for hours about this, but I'll stop boring everyone. Thanks for the thoughts though. : )
