hey folks, i'm after some advice on well, erm, just that really, my husband and i have been thinking about planning our family, we agree it would be great for Eden to have a brother or sister, we want to start trying again in a year or so, after ive finished my next year at college. have you got any advice on how best to prepare, i want to breastfeed next time, homebirth him/her and be in the best pysical health i can be to try and prevent the nausea and joint problems i had last time, i know its a way off yet, but i didnt really prepare for getting pregnant last time, and i think it definitly made the pregnancy harder. What did you do/your partner do? thanks everyone.xxx
Well, it sounds like you're thinking about the right things. And you've had a kid already, so you know what to expect. My only suggestion is to appreciate sleep now, if you're getting enough. Unless your first kid was one of those rare, elusive babies I have heard about that slept through the night right away, then you know what I'm talking about! Good luck.
How old is Eden? My oldest son, was 3 years old when our twins were born. He is now 5, and his brother and sister (the twins) are 2 years old. My advice is simple really. Start taking excellent care of yourself, if you aren't already. Take prenatal vitamins to add extra nutritional insurance and the folic acid that your body needs. Be active, exercise, and make your body as healthy of an incubator as it can be! If you are on any meds of any kind, talk with your doctor about the affects it can have on a pregnancy or whether it can increase the risk of miscarriage (some can). As far as prepaparing your child for a new sibling, include her in everything you can when it comes to the pregnancy, to make her feel like a very important and big part of what it going on. Ask her opinion on names that you are thinking of, ask her to help you choose clothing or bedding if needed, things like that. Have her practice baby care with a favorite doll or stuffed toy. With my oldest son, I presented him with both a pink and a blue bear that I had gotten at my baby shower for the twins. Once the twins were born, he would imitate me and many of the things I did to care for his new brother and sister. Putting them in their swings, feeding them, changing them. It helped TREMENDOUSLY, because at first, he was a mess when the twins were born. I won't lie. He was angry with me for being away from him for so long (I had had severe complications that landed me in the ICU the day after I gave birth) and I was away from him for 8 days because of it. He regressed, and began soiling himself again, after having been potty trained for a year prior to. He became very irritable, defiant, and didn't want a thing to do with his new brother and sister. He would tell me that we needed to take them back to the hospital and leave them there, or throw them in the garbage. That was rough to take, but I realized that he was feeling threatened, having had me all to himself for over 3 years, day in and day out. Not to mention, when I DID come home from the hospital, I was tied up with caring for his new little brother, and also rushing down to the NICU twice a day for 3 weeks to spend time and feed his new little sister. I was exhausted, still quite sickly and trying to recooperate from my complications. I had help coming in and out 5 days a week for about 2 months, and everyone was so obsessed over the twins that I know he felt totally left out. I started arranging for my help (family members) to let me spend time with just him alone, or sometimes they would plan special outings with just him. It helped. My husband was just as exhausted as I, if not more so because he was still working full time and then coming home to take care of me as well as the kids. But he was a champ, and we made quite a pair both looking like zombies because he was getting up at night with me and the babies as well. *lol* It wasn't too bad though, you get through it. Always remind yourself when you're getting up at night that it is only a phase and before you know it, those days will be long gone. It helps put things into perspective and makes it less overwhelming. As far as pregnancy woes go, I was fortunate not to have much nausea with my pregnancies. Oh, I got it, but nothing too overwhelming. To combat it, I ate Saltine crackers with peanut butter for the protein. Seriously, the peanut butter helped even more than just the plain cracker. I also sucked on peppermints. That helped the queasy feeling. I had really bad sciatic pain with my oldest son. My OB said that it was probably due to the lay my son was laying in the womb. I ended up having to see a chiropractor for help, because even though I was told that I could safely take Tylenol, I didn't want to chance anything. With my twins, ugghh, my entire third trimester was hell. I'm on the smaller side, and even my OB teased that he hoped for my sake that I didn't go a full 40 weeks because he didn't know how I'd make it. I ended up going a little over 36 weeks, which wasn't too bad for twins. I spent much of my third trimester in pain, barely able to walk at times and night time was horrific trying to sleep. If I wanted to roll over in bed, I had to grab a hold of the headboard with both hands and try and turn myself. I would actually cry, I was just so uncomfortable. I can't even begin to describe it! I remember telling everyone around my 8th month of pregnancy that my body couldn't take anymore. At the time, little did anyone know how right I was, because when I went in to give birth, that's exactly what was happening. My entire body was shutting down on me. Heart, kidneys, liver. The doctors said it was a miracle that the babies and I survived. If they hadn't been born when they were...we might not be here today. But what I had wrong (H.E.L.L.P. syndrome) was extremely rare. Only a 1 in 1,000,000 chance. I guess I was the lucky one. *rolls eyes* Anyway, I just figured that being insanely uncomfortable was the norm for carrying multiple babies. There wasn't much I could do to ease my discomfort. The only chair that I could sit in comfortably was my Lazy Boy recliner. Any other chair or piece of furniture made me ache like heck. It helped when I went to sleep if I had a pillow between my knees as well as one under my belly. They make those body pillows for pregnant women, but I just made do with extra pillows we had around the house. *smiles* I had wanted so bad to see a midwife, but they wouldn't take me because I was considered high risk. Which, I definitely ended up being despite my strong will to prove otherwise! But we did well. We all got through it, and we're all doing great. Anyway, sorry for the long story of my pregnancies. I can go on forever talking about pregnancy and babies. Good luck to you!!! {{{BIG HUGS}}}
thanks Eden is 8 months old at the moment, hes such a sweetheart, i dont want to leave it too long before we have another, i think that way he will feel better about it, it wont be like hes had us to himself for that long, saying that he will still be two and a half if we can get pregnant when we want to. i want to go to uni later on, but i'd rather spend more time with them when they are little, and if we dont have another one in the next few years Eden will be 9 or ten by the time we have another, and i think thats way too big a gap really, theres 8 years between me and my brother and that was hard, being a teenager with an under 5 demanding all the attention, lol. thanks mamas,xxx
Funny. Our first was brought up on similac and other processed crap, yet so far she's perfect. Wife did breastfeed our second and he's lactose intolerant. talk about irony.
