one of my good guy friends... Has started to umm.. hit on me.. he acts like we are going out when ever we are hanging out with people or in public... Well tonight i confronted him about it. and told him i just want to be friends.. not friends with benefits or boyfriend/girlfriend.. now he's all depressed about it and keeps asking my questions like: Why dont you ever want to come into my house with me cuddle? What dont you see in me? What do you hate about me? Why dont you want sex? Why dont you ever kiss me back? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh please people... i need help here.. this is an issue for me..........
sounds like the beginnings of a toxic friendship with someone who's very needy. If you can deal with a needy friend then keep him, if not then don't. It can tear you apart if you aren't good at dealing with all that emotional bullshit (my mom has a friend like that, who whines about why she won't date him or fuck him) All you can really do is reinforce that you don't want to date him. Not because he's a bad person, but because he's not the right sort of person for you to date, just the right sort to be friends with.
Well I'm a needy, lonely person, and I don't think I treat girls that way, but if a guy falls in love with you, it is very hard for him to go back to being "just friends"... to a guy, that's like saying, "I'm not going to love you, but I want you to continue loving me." It's not like a dial where he can just turn the feelings down a notch - if he's in love with you, then that's how he feels about you. The only idea I can think of is to be as rude to him as you can possibly manage, so that he thinks distancing himself from you was his idea. That, unfortunately, is the easiest and fastest way to end his feelings of love. I'm not necessarily saying this is a good idea, but I don't know what else you could do... you could try explaining it to him and give him one more chance, I guess. If he really cares about you, he may be willing to manage his own feelings just so he can keep you in his life. I'm sorry if this post wasn't very helpful, but I've only been on the "receiving" end of this problem, so I'm just trying to help you understand what it feels like.
Do what you trully think is best. It is always best to avoid unhealthy relationships and that's what this sounds like.
The poor guy sounds like he is suffering. I don't think you need to mean, just be assertive. I think you should reassure him that you don't hate him, that you value his friendship and that he has many good qualities and would make some girl happy. But be firm in telling him that you just don't feel that spark, that you think of him as a brother and want to keep your relationship as friends.
thanks for all the good advise... i have another issue with this though... i cant very well just tell him to fuck off... he is a really good friend to me, i do care about his feelings... I just dont feel any relationship is going to come of it... just friendship, which is what i want with him... another major reason why i cant just toss him out like a peice of trash is... i kinda have a petty school girl cruch on his BEST guy friend... Wow.. i have gotten my self into a hole... help save me...
I have a friend who likes me but he is an old friend of mine and I sure as hell can't tell him to fuck off. I just keep telling me how I feel.
RE: i have another issue with this though... i cant very well just tell him to fuck off... he is a really good friend to me, i do care about his feelings... He's not very much of a friend to you, is he? He's manipulative and isn't caring about your feelings here. You've told him friendship and friendship only but he still whines to get into your pants. You've been clear with him, we hope, but he still continues to whine questions at you. So, you have to consider that maybe he doesn't value you as a friend, and therefore you should consider his "feelings" with the same regard and tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.
yes just be assertive and make sure he dosent maniuplate your thoughts and just do what you think is best
