ok, i really need some real advice on somethin... ... im in my early 20's, and am still a virgin, altho its not thru lack of opportunity, I find it quite easy to meet girls, talk to girls, and even get them into bed. But ive never gone further than a bit of foreplay, I've even had some girls in my bed begging me, like literally begging, and ive made some excuse, sometimes it is a real excuse, sometimes made up. ... I'm kind of paranoid about being naked in front of others, this stemmed from years of bad back acne, but thats all gone now yet the paranoia is still there. ... Now theres this girl ive really liked for a long time, I pulled her at the weekend there, we had a bit of fun, altho she wanted to go further. I want to keep her as we get on great and I like her big time, she thinks im not a virgin, I need to be more sexual quick or she'll obviously lose interest. ... Shes a few years older, waaaaaay more experienced, and very, very sexual. Quite intimidateing when ive never actually dipped the wick. I dont want to be a stumbling mess tryin to ride her, I dont think I would be, as im generally quite confident when doing anything. ... So, should I just go for it with her, or go pull a stranger, lose my virginity to her and get a bitta practice in so to speak. ... Sad state of affairs I know, but, I need other peoples opinions, advice. ... Please only answer if your gonna be serious. Thanks.
well okay how can i give a serious answer when you said all that begging stuff... anyways..if you want to have sex with her then do so..if you dont then dont.. why do you need others to tell you to have sex...ya know
why not wait a bit until your more comfortable with her, and not embarrassed about back acne thats not even there if/when you two are comfortable it'll be natural and it'll happen ( gwaarn son! ) why not be honest with her? going off with some other birds not the answer the though! plus, wouldn't you be just as paranoid, if not more so, with someone you didn't really know? how would you feel on the flip, say she fucked some other guy 'for experience'?! 'ah yeah it was just a test run kinda thing' lol if you like her, whats the rush?
get drunk and stick a post-it to your head that says 'take my virginity' to your head before you pass out naked on her bed right before she gets home. Or.. you could just toughen up and talk to her about it
I'd go for it with the girl you're into, not some random. If you want the experience to be a memorable one it's best to do it with someone you care about. By the way, loved the term 'dipped the wick'. Never actually heard that one lol!
Hey, how about this, let her know that she is taking your virginity. That way she won't be disappointed. AND in answering the inevitable "why?", she will learn more about you. Big Win!! You can be emotionaly open and get laid all in one. Pretending that you have more experience than you actualy have would be a big mistake.
yeah, just tell her, she probably already knows anyway, but she might find it sexy if you tell her and stuff. seriously, man up,, tell her, then fuck her. seriously, not that hard.
err... why would you want to date someone who wouldn't be interested in you purely because of what happens in the bedroom? That said.... just tell her, let her know what's happening. I doubt she'll be offended, more like she'll feel good that you're into her enough to share your virginity with her.
Well I know what shes like, she loves sex. Bedroom activity or lack there of is the reason for her last breakup. ... To be honest she prob has a fair idea im still a virgin, altho I have told her im not ... have known her 7 years, been really really good friends this past year, like we speak practically everyday, I told her how I felt about her months n months ago while she was going out with someone else, they broke up a few weeks ago. ... Havent seen her since the weekend, meetin her tomorrow, we'll see what happens. Will report back here if I did the deed or not! :H ... Thanks for the advice everyone.
My last breakup was because of the bad sex we were having, but that was a pretty shallow relationship. It wasn't just because it was bad either - he didn't understand when I laid out what turned me on, that that's what turned me on. Yeah, he was that much of an idiot. My bad for dating him. But that doesn't mean I would break up wtih someone just because they were inexperienced, so long as they're willing to listen to a few helpful hints or some advice.
i think if she was going to be disappointed she would be more so if she thought you were experienced and then really sucked, rather than being inexperienced and willing to learn you know? i took one boy's virginity, the most sexual man i have ever known, but i was more experienced, and well, knowing he was a virgin made it much easier... with a lack of experience comes a LOT of nervousness and so it's sooo important to be comfortable with who you're with, somebody who's going to help you through it all, ya know?... i mean, there's learning with every new relationship, but you gotta be honest with her. especially if you really want to pursue a relationship with her... and wouldn't you be a little confused if you went to bed with a girl who claimed to be experienced and then acted like a virgin in bed?... hehe.. and yes we can tell. lol
I think sexual compatibility is important... If one person wants it 12 times a day every day and the other is happy with once every 2 weeks, then that's going to lead to some major emotional issues. And, well, I've dumped a guy who, pretty much like the guy you described, did not listen when I told him what I wanted. If he's not willing to try to learn what I like, then that indicates that he doesn't care all that much about my feelings. So, yeah, what happens in the bedroom can be a good reason to not be in a relationship with someone. That being said, simply being a virgin does not disqualify you from being with a more experienced woman. In fact, that works out better, since she should know by now what she likes and how she wants it. If you tell her you are very inexperienced and ask for directions, she likely will be more than happy to train you to her specifications ! You just have to be willing to learn and to try new things!
If this older girl whom you feel very close to is serious about wanting to "take the next step" -- and I don't mean just erotically, I mean a relationship -- then I see no reason why you can't tell her the truth and admit to her that you're a virgin. Who knows? She might actually be relieved that you're a virgin and become your guide into the pleasures of making love. Honesty is the best policy. -- Skeeter
