Hi all, The scriptures explain that one needs to control anger but how? I know this is out of nowhere but this has been a major problem in my life. I am trying to control my anger, and I keep failing. Its like if I get irritated, I try to hold it in to a point where I burst and then I try to hold it in again... this has been happening to me alot lately, I am getting easily irritated. I try to meditate whenever i get angry, count 1 to 10 ... think of God, but I can only do that for a while! after that there is this point where I forget everything and start yelling again.
I could relate to that...my sisters sometimes make me very very angry...its like I can control myself with anyone but my two sisters....we yell...sometimes slam doors...the whole bit...but I really do try...I'm hoping that with my effort of trying combined with us all growing up that it will soon pass as most bickering among siblings usually slows and passes...its defenetely less than it was....and it usually lasts less...we'll have a fight...slam doors in our rooms...cool off for 20 mins...then go hang out....also...I think me going to university soon with contribute... you know?
I like to think of anger arises from the contradiction between my model of how I think it is or should be with how it actually is
Hare Krishna! Dear Jedi and SGB, Try looking at the mirror whenever you are angry. Applying repeated pulsating deep pressure for two/three minutes on your thumb tips(Just below the tips on the palm side... the location for activating the pineal glands) three times a day also greatly helps. This greatly controls your mind. You have seen how many Sadhus/Yogis sit for meditation keeping their thumb tips pressed with their index fingers. The reason is just that. The sure remedy is doing easy pranayam twice daily. With love and best wishes, Kumar.
good point tiki_god. If I walk around with a "should be" world in my head I'll keep tripping over what is.
Well said tiki_god. A good way to controlling anger is to develop empathy. Attempt to place yourself in the other person's shoes. Also, understand that anger hurts you far far more than it could hurt the other person. Anger arises where there is expectation. When the expectations we have of someone are not met then there is anger. Therefore, to strike at the root of anger, try to reduce the expectations you have of people. An immediate method of controlling anger is pranayama. Ramana Maharishi, in Upadesha Saram, says that by controlling the breath, the mind is also controlled (prana bandhanat leeyate manah). However, he warns that this is only a temporary solution.
yea, you are right, I really have to stop expecting and just keep on doing what I do, but like gdkumar said, it really helps to press those fingers... strange but true. It could be psychological or it could be physiological , in either case it works... so thanks.
I'm not sure if it is either possible or desirable to get rid of anger totally and permanently. For instance, I may see some abuse taking place - abuse of the environment for example - and that might engender some reaction of anger. But the anger might then lead to taking some positive action. It might lead to a re-orientation of my thinking and actions. Perhaps it's the quality of anger that has to change. Stop being angry about relatively insignificant personal preferences and direct it toward real problems. That means looking at the big picture rather than our own little limited personal day to day scene. Even Sri Krishna seems to exhibit anger in some stories from the Purana. So did Christ. I suppose the thing is to experience it, and then move on.
The trick is to have complete control over anger and then use it for a purpose. For example, Gurudev Swami Chinmayananda, was in a meeting with the administration at one of the Chinmaya Mission centers and was very angry with the way they handled things. He was giving them a thorough blasting, in the middle of which a small child wandered in crying. Gurudev immediately picked up the babe, cuddled him and cooed to him and took him to his parents. He then coolly walked back into the conference room and resumed chewing out the board. Such was the control he had over himself.
Thats the mark of a true Master, one who is free from attachment. And that's another aspect of this - not to become attached to one's anger, or indeed other negative feelings. For one thing it binds one even more to the ego consciousness, and since uncontrolled anger often leads to action that is later a cause for regret, it creates even more entanglement and negative feeling - The inner being, the Atman, the Jiva, the Soul is never angry. It all comes from the outer nature, the prakriti. If one can come to see that all these movements are not the Self, one can begin to get some control. The impulses like anger and the rest may still be there, but we no longer react to them in the same way, or allow them to gain dominance over the consciousness. That seems to be the goal on one level anyway. In practice in everyday life it can be difficult, but patience and perseverance are the key thing.
I dunno, being angry makes me laugh when I understand why I was angry. Of course, sometimes I skip the anger and just laugh.
