Oh boy, I think I fucked this whole thing up!

I'm in college. I'm sure that's a shock to a few of you, but I doubt I'll be here much longer! See, I've never been a real go-getter or any bullshit like that... I just take things as they come... except for sex... I'm a go-getter in that aspect. Anyways, this week has been somewhat pivotal as far as my education is concerned... I've been thinking of transfering for a little while, and in order to do that, I've gotta raise that whole GPA thing or some shit like that. I've got a 1.86 right now (I know it's bad... I just never gave a fuck about this shit until I heard it's my ticket out of this hell-hole) and my folks tell me I'm gonna need a 2.0 to transfer from here to GA Southwestern University so that I can learn glassblowing and Metalworking. That's all I really want to do with my life... work a trade that honestly doesn't require a college education... fuck degrees, fuck all that bullshit... I work with my hands... that's what I'm here for! If anyone dares to ask the question "well what if you lose your hands?" well, the answer is that I'd live off the government and ride that shit out like I won the lotto... I'd hate everyday of my handless existance, but I'm seriously hoping my luck doesn't get that shitty... Back to what I fucked up now...

So that GPA thing is a 1.86 and I'm needin' that 2.0... Well, this past week I had a paper I've been needing to turn in from last semester (it's an incomplete as of right now) and a test that I didn't receive because I slept in on Thursday, which is pretty rare for me to be perfectly honest. Even when I did get up, I was pretty slow because I've been going through adderall withdrawl because my prescription ran out and I kept forgeting to call that shit in. Anyways... that paper might have a week or two left on it, but my folks wanted it turned in last week... the test, however, is due tomorrow at 11:30. I still haven't heard from my professor about possibly making it up, but he has a pretty strict "no make-up" policy. I'm not terribly worried because I've already taken that class and somehow I passed (even though I failed every test and "map quiz").... I guess that professor liked me or something... he IS supposed to be the "hardass" and I've taken him twice now for some ungodly reason... Well, getting back to my story, I think I fucked up man... I haven't really done more than write a thesis and opening paragraph on that paper, I'm out of my ADD meds (can you guys tell?), and that test hasn't arrived via email yet... The paper alone might boost the GPA, but I'm doubting it... Technically, I should have failed that course, but my professor cut me a deal, and I lived up to it... hell, I even turned in "a paper", but I wasn't happy with it, so I told him I'd have him another one once I could get around to it... He knows me pretty well b/c I've taken at least one course per semester from him ever since he arrived here two and a half years ago. He's a good friend, and I respect the man... but this paper is a HUGE project, and I'm so damn brain-dead right now that I know I would write a worse paper even if I tried my best... I gave it a solid three hours earlier today, but I think it was a piece of shit, and there's no way in hell I'm gonna attempt that fucker again today... It may very well be a lost cause at this point... along with my education...

Beyond fucking college up, I've essentially wasted nearly $90k here at this school, which has nearly dried up the funds I once had before 9/11 and the bullshit that went on in the stock-market then. I might have enough to go to school and scrounge up some used glassblowing and metalworking tools so that I can be productive later in life, but that's a bit of shot in the dark as it is anyway... I feel like I've fucked my life over, and I ain't gonna lie... it looks like I may actually have gone n' done it, but it's nobody's fault but my own... I just wish I knew what it was that I wanted to do with my life before I wasted all my money on a crock of shit... Well, I'm gonna use the internet while I still have it and see if I can find an apprenticeship somewhere... Somethings in life just seem doomed to fail at this point...

 

I'm not going to say I've "been there and done that", because no two situations are all that similiar, but I have had an experience pretty close to your own. I had no real desire to go to college after highshcool, but my girlfriend at the time put a lot of pressure on me (she was only doing what she thought was right) and since everyone else at the time was filling out applications and such, I figured I may as well too.

I got accepted to a school just because I had a good score on my SATs -- my GPA from highschool was pathetic and I didn't really do anything "extra" in highschool. So, with no real "goal" in mind for myself, I just started to go to college and figured I'd find my path when I got there.

Instead I did what most young, dumb, kids do: I partied a lot, had some casual flings, and after the first semester or two, my grades went from pretty damn good -- to complete shit. I stopped going to classes, I'd forget to drop them in time, I'd fail, I'd leave early, I even got kicked out of one class because I only went the first day. In general, I was being a selfish little prick that cared about nothing, but my own happiness/contentment.

On top of all of that, I, like you, had also spent a BUTTLOAD of money. I didn't have the "time or the money" to buy books for my courses, but I had one pretty sweet PS2 game collection and a whole lot of marijuana and one pretty sweet bong -- again, I was being totally selfish.

When I finally realized just how fucked I was, it was too late to do anything about it as far as college went. I thought of doing a lot of shit -- never taking my own life or anything that drastic, but I was pretty close to joining the army -- just because I didn't see any other way to erase the crap that I had caused.

In the end, a really nice guy I knew gave me some great advise. He asked me what I learned from college and when I started to mumble something about my philosophy class, he stopped me and asked again, "No, what did you learn from your experience at college". And that's when I realized that by luck or by fate, I had learn some pretty crucial life leasons. Sure, my GPA was shit, my money was all burned up and my folks where going to want to slap me silly -- but that was all fixable shit. I could increase my GPA, I can always earn more money and, besides disappointing my parents, I learned a lot about life, myself, friends and the person I want to be. In short, I learned a pretty harsh lesson about being responsible.

I know it sucks, I know it seems like what you've done is going to effect you for ever.. but you can get over this hump, bro. You can make more money, you can go to a community college and boost that GPA, hell, you can even go to a vocational or technical school and learn a trade. There are a ton of paths to choose from -- you just have to look for 'em.

Good luck to ya

 

You're right about a few things Lost. You don't need a degree or anything to learn a trade like glassblowing or metalworking. But it's often a good idea to go to a tech college or something...my older brother did just that and is a successful blacksmith. Also, trying to get some cheap tools is a shot in the dark, but it's better than doing nothing. Save up your money and try try again.

 

dude. move to ft collins. walk into a headshop. tell em you want to learn to blow glass and youre there. I know of three different shops all on college ave. that have classes and then sell the work. its real cheap too...

 

May the Force Be With You.

 

Thanks for the positive replies! I guess I should go ahead and announce that by some twist of fate I was accepted at Georgia Southwestern University with an incomplete transcript and a 1.86 GPA! Of course, I am kinda goin' to one of South Carolina's most difficult colleges to stay in right now, so maybe I shouldn't be too worried about this whole transfer thing... I'm gonna be learnin glass blowing from one of the best and my cousin is going to teach me the basics of welding since he lives in my old home town 45 mins south of where I'll be living! I'll be makin' a fully functional "Bong-mobile" as soon as I get confident with both those skills and you're all invited to come along for a ride!