Hi im new to this but i really need help. Im a male 18 years old and a virgin. When im about to get close to any girl for intimate reasons i get so nervous that sometimes i just dont want to try anything, this has been happening to me for my whole life. I dont know what the matter is with me but its really screwing up my life. I think im a little bit too old to be getting nervous about stuff like this, but it could also be the anxiety that i wont please her. i have only kissed girls. Is this normal or am i jutrs screwed. does anyone have any ideas on what i should do.
i dont think i said i like it up the ass any where there. if i get sexually aroused from girls then i must not be gay.
That was sarcasm. My next question to you is, are you comfortable with yourself? If you have no self-esteem, then of course you'd be nervous. Chillax, embrace yourself, have a shot or two, and let things flow.
I know just how you feel, I went out with a lot of girls and couldent get myself to do anything with them, i was even nervous to kiss them actually. But then when i met the girl i actually fell totaly in love with it was no problem. so maybe thats what you need.
that is what i think your problem is. have a few vodka shots (43%) and you'll gain lots of confidence.
you should let go of the idea that the first time must be perfect. everyone must learn. just get on with it.
not to sound humorless here, but alcohaul is too often used as a way to get yourself to do things that you'ld usualy be smart enough to know you'ld regret.
wonderingguy: You know, I'm 18, and I was in basically the exact same position until a few weeks ago; never been intimate with a lady, et cetera. But in all seriousness, take taoflipflower's advice: The first time almost certainly will NOT be perfect, and probably won't be anywhere close to it. Once you have that fact accepted, it gets a whole lot easier.
The answer to the question about me being comfortable about my self is no. That is probably my problem but i just seem to figure it out
I'm not a guy but my current boyfriend was just like you before me... I think the key is to not have to shed this aura of confidence and what not... To me that's not it... What I personally think is that it's all about finding someone that you feel comfortable around. Comfortable being yourself, and doing things you do when nobody is around-- Not to get gross, but my boyfriend and I fart around each other like crazy, whereas he or I wouldn't have done that with past boyfriends/girlfriends because we were always somewhat uptight and nervous around others. For some reason, somehow we are just extremely comfortable with each other and it was easy to have sex because there were no inhibitions no... "what will he think" or "am I pleasing him" or "do i look unattractive to him" sort of thing... I have very little self esteem especially when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, but then just the right person came along to break me of that--- and I think that's what you need. Find someone who you feel comfortable just being YOU around, someone you dont feel that is judging you or anything to that effect.
I think Apples+Oranges has got it spot on to be honest! Not sure about the excessive flatulence though, do you eat lot's of beans and broccoli??
Eh, I'm somewhat in the same position as you. I'm a little self-absorbed and kinda in my own world in my head, I'm not comfortable when the distance I prefer to put between myself and other people is compromised. I've made out once when I was 13, at 17 I felt up and sucked on the breasts of a girl in New York's Port Authority Bus Terminal (ha!) which just made me feel weird (close friend, friend's girlfriend).. to add insult to injury, recently I found out my long-distance (ex)girlfriend/soulmate lost her virginity to another guy behind my back. Times is hard, man.
