One of "my" kids that I was teaching art in an 8th grade to said to me: "Ms. Tanja makes me love art so much, that I want to die for it". I thought that was so cute! It was really flattering.
my son Dylan, 3, got a splinter in his pointer finger the other day, we were jokingly telling him we had to operate & chop off his finger, this usually gets him giggling hysterically, not this time.... with all seriousness he looked at me & my husband and said " no, you can't cut it off, it's my bird pointing finger!!!" for the rest of the night he laid in the yard pointing at all the seagulls flying by.
When my little cousin was 2, my brother and I were watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and he asked my brother what the king was talking about when he said "she has huge.... tracks of land". So he explained it to him. And then for about a week, he refered to breasts as "tracks of land".
I remember taking my niece to the store and I ran into people I worked whose name is the exact same name as my niece and so I said, Emma, she has the same name as you.. and she said, "You mean you're name doesnt change when you get old, so im gonna be Emma forever..." it ws the funniest thing...
Yesterday I was trying to get my 3 year old to put his clothes on.....he has a habit lately of just wanting to wear underwear.....anyway..I told him I didn't want him to run around all day like that and he said "I won't run around, I will walk very slowly..."
my little guy ( 3 and a half) was on his way to take a nap yesterday and he threw his arms in the air and said "I broke the world and it dropped me in here!" About a month ago he ran into my room and said mommie mommie whats inyour throat? and I looked confused but I played along..and said uhh nothing...why what's in my throat? and he ran away and came back in and said I KNOW!!! so I said what? and he said TESTICLES! ( I tried not to laugh I believe he ment tonsils) I then asked him if he knew what his testicles were as I have talked to him about them before and he went on to tell me how they digest your food etc...haha...so I told him about them again.
Last Monday my girls had their first swimming lesson. When it was over we were in my mom's car and the kids were telling us all about it. They were very excited. So, they're telling us about their teachers and my daughter says, "Yeah, he was really nice, but sometimes his you-know-whats would stick out and I'd have to cover my eyes and look away." My mom almost drove up a tree. For a split second I thought I was going to have to kick a swimming instructor's ass. I turned around and looked at my daughter, sitting in the back seat, and I said, "What, honey?" She pointed to her nipples and said, "You know, I could see his things." "You mean his nipples?" Now my mom relaxes. I explain to my daughter, as I have in the past, that it's okay for boys to run around and swim without shirt on. My mom and I laughed our butts off.
The other night my kids and I were sitting in the yard, watching for shooting stars, and my 5-year-old daughter asked me if one star can hold three people's wishes. She didn't want to hog the wishes. I assured her that it can.
Earlier this summer my kids' grandma came to visit. She's...uptight. We probably wouldn't hang out together if I wasn't the mother of her grandchildren, ya know? We went out to eat, and we were catching up while we waited for our food. This would be a really good time to say something cute. So, Grandma says, "So, have you learned anything new lately?" My 5-year-old daughter says, "Oh! Grandma! I have!" "Well, what is it, Sweety?" My daughter puts one fist in front of her, then the other. As she does she says, "Meet my friends, Screw and You." Grandma is horrified. I have to act like I'm upset. I say something like, "What a rude thing to say. Where did you hear that?" She points to her sister. "She taught it to me!" Her sister said she learned it from The Simpsons. Sigh. So the next day I'm telling this story to my mom and my brother, trying to get them to back me up and tell the kids that they need to think before they speak. But, no. My mom and my brother think it's hysterically funny. They think the problem is the other grandma, that she's too uptight. Sigh again.
That is funny. When my dd Sunshine was about to turn four, she thought she was "going to get a new face." I have NO idea why, but she was one of the youngest in her preschool class and was obsessed with turning four ("I wanna be four. I wanna be four RIGHT NOW!" as if I could do something about it.) The day she did turn four, she was amazed she had the same face. She ran to the bathroom mirror first thing and stared at herself. "Why do I have the same face? I'm four now." I asked her if any of her friends got new faces when they turned four, and she refused to talk about it. Weird, what kids think about when they are so young.
My little 2-1/2 year old niece put her tiny hands on my pregnant belly the other day and said, "Come out, cousin baby! I need you! I want a sister!"
On one birthday, I think when she turned five maybe, my daughter woke up and started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said it wasn't her birthday. I said, "Well, of course it is!" She said, "No, it's not, I didn't get any bigger. I'm the same as I was yesterday." She thought that she'd wake up and be visibly taller and older. Silly goose.
When I was younger I had a problem with my r's, so when I was around 2 my favorite word was fork. No matter what I was eating I would always ask for a fork. Of course it didn't come out like that, lets just say it rhymes with duck and begins with an f. After a few days of that my parents would just throw the fork at me before I could ask.
Several of my kids would say Fork that way. And of course, our friends (and my dh) would constantly ask them to say it. LOL.
When my husband and I were in Florida with the kids not long ago, my husband and my mother-in-law had gone fishing in the bay one morning and brought home some fish to make for lunch that day. Our oldest son went down onto the beach to watch his grandma clean the fish. After a while, he came back inside to tell me about the fish cleaning. I was surprised that he wasn't grossed out by it, because I know I didn't want to have anything to do with it! Anyway, when his grandma came back in the house and began to cook the fish for lunch, he was intrigued, totally amazed. I mean, he had never seen anything like this in his life! Finally when the fish was done cooking, my husband sat down at the table with a plate in front of him. Our oldest son looks at the plate of fish and then looks up at him with a smirk on his face and says "Dead fish, Dad? Dig in!" and it was obvious that he was being, even at the young age of 5, sarcastic. We all roared with laughter with that one.
My 2 year old twins, both a boy and a girl, always compete back and forth at bedtime when I lay them down for the night. One will say "I love you" and wait for me to say it back. Then the other one will say it, and of course, I will say it back again. But then it goes on, and on, and on. Even after I've shut the door and gone down the steps they're saying "I love you, I love you mommy!" It's so cute.
When my daughter was five yrs.old, my husband wa tucking her into bed one night. She asked him if he knew what french kissing was.....he responded yes. With this she told him she thought it was just GROSS and said she was so happy that she wasn't French. We sure had a good laugh over that one!
Tonight part of my 8-yr.-old dd's homework was to answer some questions about herself. The answers become her spelling words for this week. So she had to write her middle name, hair color, eye color, city she was born in, etc. One of the questions was 'STREET NAME'. My silly daughter told me that at first she thought it meant 'street name' as in 'what gangsters call you'. She said she was thinking, "I don't have a street name!" We had some fun with that. We made up some possible, very silly answers. On a side note, my daughters' school color is red, which is so stupid because the Surenos (imagine a little squiggle over the n) think they own our neighborhood and all they wear is red. On some days the kids are supposed to wear red so that their classroom will win crap. I told my friends that I think we should go to a PTA meeting and suggest that the school colors are changed to flourescent orange and yellow. That way no gangsters would get the wrong idea and crazy drivers in the morning would see them crossing the streets on their way to school!