apple tree (sitting under the)

you told me once that​

you would never sit​

under the apple tree​

with anyone else but me.​

​

you lied.​

​

​

​

​

(bitch)​

 

that probaly wasn't saposed to be funny, sure made me chuckle though

 

the bitch adds alot of flare to it

 

thanks guys!

 

That's real effective use of layout: the way you spaced the words 'you lied' apart from the main stanza of the poem, and the full stop after just those two words, make it uncomfortably abrupt-which is how I feel it should be, because you're holding this person's lies up for scrutiny while you watch them squirm, almost. I like that And the '(bitch)' at the end added humour to the poem as well. You seem a very bitter poet, perhaps disiullsioned with love, whatever. If that's the case, then it's comforting to think I'm not the only one who feels that way!

 

hahaha... classic!

 

thanks for the feedback. what part of london? i'm in nyc, but an ex-gf went to uni at brighton.

 

That's ok. I was born in Hammersmith; lived in Fulham for a while, then moved to the outer suburb of Northolt (shithole). And guess what?! I'm now in Brighton, have been for years but I still consider London my home 'cause most of my family live there. I'm currently at Sussex Uni, but I'm switiching, hopefully to Bristol What part of NYC do you live in, and have you always lived there? If so, Brighton's a long way to visit

 

As someone else said, very effective. With a minimum of words, you really hit right to the heart of it. Well done.