*sigh* once again, I've joined the single mother's club...

Well, here I am again. I had to kick Tim out last week. We got into an arguement last Monday and he actually hit me. We've been together for years amd he's never touched me.

After my last abusive relationship I promised myself I would never put myself there again. He knew that I don't tolerate that behavior and the first time would be the last-no exceptions.

But, now I'm starting to question whether I did the right thing. I had to put the girls in daycare :$ which eats up half my paycheck each week. I'm so frustrated with life right now. My friends are very supportive and said I did the right thing-but I miss him so much. We've always got along so well-until this.

I don't know. I guess I'm looking for advice as to how in the world to move on with my life. Also, how to protect my daughters from all of this?!? Maddie was an infant when I left her father. Now she's 6 and she adores Tim. Virginia is two and misses her daddy. I'm not keeping them from him, but he hasn't' offered to visit them, either. I hate life sometimes.

 

I agree with Blackie. I have been in abusive situations before and it is really hard to get away from that. I decided that I did not want my child to be abused or to see me being abused. It took a while to find a good man, but I have one now and he is the best thing that could have happened to us. So, keep you chin up. There are good guys out there. Just be strong.

 

He knew about your past relationships and he knew that any form of violence was a deal breaker, I'm so impressed at your strength in standing by what you believe in.

I wish I could help more, you are a strong and beautiful person, I think you did the right thing and you are doing the right thing for your daughters.

 

I know I qualify for ABC vouchers from DSS because we receive food stamps. But, they've spent all the money for this year and aren't accepting any new applications right now. Maddie starts school on the 11th, so her cost will cut in half, but it's still a lot of fucking money. I just started a full time job with the county, so I'm working 40 hrs a week now. I'm just doing it until I can build up some bookkeeping clients and work at home (I have an accounting degree).

Thankyou so much, moominmamma. I appreciate it. It's good to hear from you!

 

Just wanted to let you know that I've been there too. And I agree with previous posters. A man who hits his wife/girl friend/significant other will hit his children. Your kids may be missing dad right now, but they don't need to be abused. You're doing the right thing to protect your babies. Money may be tight until you can get on the subsidy programs but you'll make it. Just keep loving those babies and do what's right by them. Rely on your friends for support when you need it.

Stay strong,
kathi

 

That is so hard. I know you can do it on your own.....it may suck putting your kids in daycare, but it's much better than them seeing mommy getting hit or themselves being hit. Things will get better.
Stop the cycle NOW!!! If your kids see it, they will think it is okay.

I was with a guy when my daughter was 3 who strangled me in a drugged-up rage and I thought I was going to die. The only think I could think about was my little girl. What would happen to her if I was dead? And if he didn't kill me, how long would it be before he started doing the same things to her?
I reported him to the police and haven't seen him since (I've also moved out of state!).
You have to keep yourself and your children safe.
I don't mean to sound preachy, I just want you and your babies to not be hurt anymore!

*HUGS*

 

You know what you need to do. You know you're doing the right thing.


It's challenging right now, but you can do it. You're strong. It may be difficult to get on your feet, but it sounds like you know about your options. You can do this.

You have been in an abusive relationship before, so look at it this way. In a year you could be over this, set up, adjusted to being a single mom again, or you could be with him, still getting hit, or wondering when you'll get hit, and then when you decide that you can't take it anymore you'll just have to do this again.

You're on your way. You're strong. You can do this. It's going to be alright.

Going back is like telling him that you will put up with that crap.

 

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

daycare never hurt a kid with a loving mama.

peace to you hunny.xxx

 

..

 

Thank you, enigma. I know they will be ok at the daycare-it just pisses me off that I have to do it, you know?

Pansy, I'm so sorry you had to grow up like that. That is why I can't be with him right now. I don't even know if counseling will help-not him, but me. I don't think I can ever look at him the same way. Even if he completely changes. The fact that he actually hit me knowing my past. Ugh. Life is just driving me crazy right now.

I'm getting thrown a lot of curveballs right now. With Tim, then the car broke down TWICE since I kicked him out, and several other things have fucked up for me.

Thank you, everyone, for your support and for letting me bend your ears-well, eyes .

 

hang in there, mama things will get better for you. be proud of yourself that you did the right thing! *HUGS*

 

do you guys have family daycare there?
It is all accredited and checked out but within someones home...it rocks.
good luck with everything by the way.

 

I am so sorry you and your kids have to go through this again. (((((((((sugmag)))))))

It'll get better. Blessings to you and your babies. I have no advice to dish ou, as only you know what is best for you, just empathy for you. You wil survive, you did the right thing.

Love,

Maggie

 

Yeah, they are all over down here. I used to use one when Maddie was younger. I just had to find something immediately and they don't usually advertise. I've also found they are WAY unstable. I went through three home daycares when Maddie was in them. But, I'm def. keeping my options open.

Thankyou so much Maggie. It's funny, his mom had always told me that if ever happened, she would be there for me. And when all this happened I just KNEW that she would start distancing herself because she is his mother. But, she calls all the time asking how I'm doing and telling me that she still loves me. It's really amazing.

 

Thats really tough. You will figure out a way to make things work for you and your girls. Is there something you can do from home? What is your background in? Find what works for you. I had to try so many things to figure out my way but two years later and I have finally made it. You'll be okay! But right now I know its hard. Keep your chin up.
Had