How Important Is Money In Your Relationship?

For me, if the money is not correct, then I'm going to be out of pocket. I'm not talking about unforseen occurrances and I'm not saying that he has to be making the big bucks. What I'm saying is I cannot tolerate someone that does not have a concept of how money works, how to make it, how to keep it and how to make it grow.

Some people are fortunate enough to make enough that they can cover their expenses and still have money to burn, but what do they do when their situation changes or their income dries up? They don't know how to bite the bullet or how to get out there and hustle to generate cash.

I've found that I cannot teach money management to someone who doesn't care. They just think the next gravy train is around the corner.

Have any of you ever dealt with someone who is a complete idiot when it comes to understanding money?

 

yes actually, and that idiot is me. I can never save any money. Itll probably be different as soon as I get a job though.

 

I'm really frugal with my money, saving at least 5 times as much as I spend, so it's really really hard for me to understand how people don't do that, especially if they're paying their own bills. Like my boyfriend, I'm trying to get him to be more careful with his money because he spends it and then it bites him in the butt afterwards. Not to mention that he doesn't have a job now due to college and the ability to live at home at his mom or dad's house (he flip flops so he doesn't "suck up just one's resources unfairly"). He's only 19 so he has time, but it still bothers me alot.

 

Financial responsibility is a very very important thing in anything that might become more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. It's even important in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. My father is terrible at managing money and I know how much hell it can cause. I don't want to recreate that for my kids in the future.

But as far as it goes, I've dated two guys who have been of money. One was from a "comfortable" lifestyle and the other was rich. Flat out. His dad was a doctor and he's now going to school for 34 grand a year without scholarships or financial aid. The rest of my boyfriends have been poor kids like me. And really, I think I was more comfortable with the not-so-wealthy boys because while gifts are nice, sometimes I wonder if they're trying to buy my love. Plus, it's nice to be with someone who also knows what it is to go without. My last boyfriend lived an hour away and was just starting a job at McDonald's, so he had a difficult time affording to see me with gas money and everything, and he ended up pawning his guitar and stereo so he would have money to come see me (along with some for groceries). That was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. I figure it would be nice to be comfortable and not be afraid of money problems when you are married and stuff, but sometimes poor guys can be the most romantic.

 

I like the way my man and I handle money. Since day 1 everything we have is ours. He doesn't pay half, I don't pay half, we just pool together what we have and pay it from there. We have a joint bank account and it works wonderfully. We never fight about money. We have been very very poor and we are both good at saving and sacrificing to get what we need.

If we ever break up (and it's been threatened in the past) what we have at the time will be split 50/50.

 

Money is somewhat important... Im not saying i want my man to be rich.. They just have to be able to budget and handle money correctly... My ex used to make 2 times the amount i did and every week had to borrow money from me... never again... I dont mind lending him money.. but every week... It was rediculous... Its just nice to be able to have someone who can handle money and pay bills ontime and be responsible about it

 

i love my man too much to lose him over something as trivial as money. it would be different if he were just blatently sponging off me or something like that...but if he and i are happy and we're both pitching in to our lives together, i don't get upset that we aren't uber-rich.

 

Gold diggers need not apply.
-The Management

 

I'm sorry, but these sort of topics bring out my misogynist side...

Any girl who gets with a guy because of money, or dumps a guy because he has none, is a prostitute - it's that simple. We are well and truly beyond the days when a woman needed a man to provide for her. Prostitutes engage in 'relations' with a man for money - if a girl allows money to dictate the status of her relationship then there is no difference.

This annoys me because I know so many guys who are really good people and yet get shafted by girls on a regular basis because of financial concerns. If money is so important then be honest about it and go work at a brothel.

 

On the one hand, part of a man's role in a relationship is to be a provider (if the intentions are 'long-term'), but I do agree that some women take it entirely tooooo far and can come off as whores who only want what a man can offer financially. I would never, ever try to impress a woman financially (even if I could). Just another sad commentary on the state of relationships in the modern world, these material girls. The fact that they only look at the most superficial aspects of someone indicates that they haven't much to offer below the surface either.

 

Ive never liked the idea of having a joint bank account with my sig other. mabye because i tend to be very independent...i dunno, i would just prefer to keep it seperate. my mother is always telling me to marry a man with money. well if i ever get married money wont be a factor. however, i want someone who is independent as well and can make their own living without my help.

 

I just want a man to be self supportive. I don't think thats too much to ask for. I'm not talking about the abnormal shit that comes up, That should be the times we help each other, but to regularly be a drain not be able to stand on his own two feet, pfft~

 

I'd only date a woman who supports herself.

Now, if she supports herself on her daddy's massive trust fund or ex-hubby's more than generous alimony, that just makes her all the more attractive. I'm lookin' for a sugar momma. I don't want to work anymore.

 

Money is not a factor in my concept of love.

 

I like to spend so it's responsible for me to be with those who keep me from over spending if we were married and are overal responsible with money. I've dated guys from all income levels and my worst dates have been with those who are very wealthy in terms of them thinking their wealth defined who they were or how I should feel about them. I'm a little materialistic but I can support my own habits...and if not my mom can heh. But I like to date men who make a little more than I do because of their own potential insecurity. Men get intimidated by women who make more than them but everyone makes more than me so I've only run into that issue a handful of times. I think financial responsibility is so much more important than how much someone makes. I am in a position where I can make a few phone calls and get a different job making really good money-but would I be happy working for a pro-profit company?-no. So for me someone's personal happiness, my happiness and making smart monetary choices are what's important. But my pet peve is when people tell me what to do with my finances when I don't even have a ring on my finger. Case in point my boyfriend and I got into a fight because I want a volvo s60 or a land rover discovery he thinks I should get a volvo s40 for the gas mileage and basically said i spend beyond what I earn-true but what buisness is that of his? This worries me because a-if we get married I certainly don't want to be afraid of an argument everytime I go shopping and b-it shows that he has a tendency to control in gerneral plus he's had a lot of financial irresponsibility in the past and has parents who have finanacialy supported him and still kiunda do. So I feel like who is he to judge me when he has made no definite plans of us spending a life together and we havenb't grown up the same way?

 

sorry, double post.

 

Sorry, double post.

 

yes, i have. and it's a dangerous situation to put yourself in, especially if kids are involved. i used to think that money didn't matter at all when it comes to relationships, but i've had a couple of long term relationships with guys who refused to try to keep it together financially, and now i and my children are paying the price. if you love a man who's like this, it's best to keep all money seperate. the relationship will probably end over it eventually, but you won't be in desperate straits when it does. if i have another relationship i will keep the money seperate until such time as i'm sure the guy has a good head on his shoulders for financial decisions.

peace,

pansy