run

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by LordHelmet, Sep 4, 2005.

  1. LordHelmet

    LordHelmet Member

    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Scrape away yesterdays face
    gunshots gonna start a new race
    start to finish in empty space
    the man tells us what to chase
    about and around around and about
    drink the drink that dont cure drout
    little bit louder now twist and shout
    come and help us find some way out
    and while outside open the door
    clear a path for many more
    then free at last we all can soar
    escaping the wrath of the horsemen four




    kinda lame i know, and cheesy rhyme, but i like it.. so blah
     
  2. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

    Messages:
    6,514
    Likes Received:
    4
    I like the rhythm, and the rhymes were alright, but somehow I feel let down. It's not very cohesive, ya know? Some of the lines seem to just be there.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice