Suicide...goin' out with a BANG or a whimper?

Lol

 

Don't commit suicide, I wouldn't be able to see any new pictures of you ..

Omg *drools*

 

I'd do a Kurt Cobain.

I am a miserable sod who's an utter nuisance in life. I'd like to be so in death. I'd like to think my last act would cause someone to have to spend hours scraping brain material (which is MURDER to get out of ANYTHING) off hundreds of surfaces with a putty knife.

 

I'll stick around a while.

 

Well, i always pondered why it was called 'cowardly' because when i was a bit younger and thought i was suicidal, i thought it must take a lot more courage than i had to go through with it.

It's taken me time to realise that i wasn't really suicidal back then, i was just in some place of desperation.

Lately when i've felt suicidal. I've realised it wouldn't take much courage at all because i've passed the threshold where i feel fear to do it. The pain felt in death can't be much more than i've already experienced in life. I dont fear hell because i've seen both heaven and hell right here.

Like most ppl i've had a lot of shit to deal with that wasn't my own doing, but at this stage it wouldn't be the reason id end my life. I've got the best friends i could have, a beautiful gf, a nice house and a fun carear and yet maybe when we die all these things seise to matter. And probably i'm just living to watch them be hurt by life and eventually i'll be standing at their funerals.

The reason is, because i have a lot of questions there are no answers to. They keep me awake at night. Questions some of the greatest minds have been unable to answer, about life, about death, about love. Science hasn't answered them, my life experience hasn't answered them. Religion cannot prove them. Even ppl who have died and been brought back are inconsistant in their experiences.

To be honest i dont know why i havent already done it. But i think if i do it, it would be just when i'm having a nice normal day and maybe i would finish watching something on TV and say goodnight to my friends and calmly decide to go and do it. I havent figured out a way to minimise the hurt for the ppl who care about me. It's probably a lot to do with why i havent done it. I have no want or need to hurt anyone. And i think in some sense it might be the worst thing i could ever do to them.

So i guess my basic point is that its not cowardly, though what it is, is incredibally selfish. When i think of all the ppl who are struggling against ill health or dont have the things i have and there's me having these feelings, i do feel guilty. But my perspective on life and its meaning remains quite strong.

 

The main idea, thus far, hasn't been one of "cowardice" or "weakness", but "selfishness".

The question I pose is this: Is it better for oneself to suffer (and live a miserable life overall) just to appease the wants of others?

Although, mostly infants, small children, the elderly and handicapped are the only ones who really "need" someone, but suppose, you had no family, what then?

Is your life's value dependent upon others' wants?

My theory is that we give ourselves worth. We determine how much we are worth and whether or not we have a "price". We determine our value, but others determine our value to them.

If we take our life, we are depriving them of some sort of value, but we have deprived ourselves of overall value (is that selfish?)...

Ok, I'll stop rambling on here before I give myself a headache.

 

i had a freind here in philly who i knew for like 15 years, an amazing woman really, her name was kathe chang, but she was known as kathe change, she was nearly 50, or possibly over 50 but was incredibly beautiful & had the body of an 18 year old proffessional dancer or gymnast, because she was constantly dancing, she never stopped except to sleeep, shed eat dancing, talk while dancing & was always in motion, she used to dance in witld costumes on the art museaum steps (the ones from the rocky movie) and by the peace sign on the university of pennsylvania campus, she was dancing for change, she could only be described as a utopitarian i guess, well after doing that for well over 20 years she felt like people were no longer listening to her, wernt getting her message of change anymorem so one day about 4-5 years ago, she went out there on the penn campus where shed always danced, in 1 of her best costumes, & she dumped a gallon of gas over her head, & lit herseelf on fire...it did wake alot of people up & make them pay attention to her message.. but at the same time it was the waste of an amazing life..a very possitive wonderful amazing person..& a freind to many...gone..who knows what she could have accomplished if shed stayed awhile longer

 

That's an extremely painful way to go about it. Very rare in the Western world.

But, I can understand her hopelessness when it comes to people and their apathy.

I think apathy is much worse than opposition.

Apathy is a point that I could not reach without considering suicide myself because I believe too much in the good that humankind can accomplish and I hold out that we can get all the junk out of our world and make it a better place.

If I ever lost that...I'd hate to even exist.

 

Well, suffering is a changable factor. Life tends to vary far too much for us ever to be completely sure if we would be suffering in the future or if some volitile factor would enter into our lifes which has the potential to end the suffering and replace it with happiness.

Should we live for others wants? Thats a tough one but, there are ppl i would gladly die for so as they wouldn't have to suffer. So i guess if i turned it around, then i could say there are ppl who i would live for too.

I dont really have a family in the sense that most ppl do. However i do have friends who act as my family. The difference is they are still here because they want to be and not because of duty.

I wasn't handed anything in life. I only have the things that i have worked towards so technically i'd judge my worth on my own efforts and what they have achieved. But i'd might also include in that, the quality of relationships i have formed, which in a round about way then brings into effect the wants and oppinions of others.

I wouldn't kill myself because i had a low oppinion of my self worth because its always possible to improve on that. I would do it simply because i had just had enough of the constant turmoil day in day out, all the while never being able to truely know if i was going through it for absolutely nothing in the long run.

 

i guess you can go out with a pithy note because football season is over....http://www.breitbart.com/news/2005/09/08/D8CG5HNG0.html

Rolling Stone to Publish Thompson Note
Sep 08 11:29 AM US/Eastern



NEW YORK


Rolling Stone, the magazine that was home for years to Hunter S. Thompson, will publish a note written by the gonzo journalist days before he committed suicide in February.

Douglas Brinkley, the presidential historian who is also Thompson's official biographer, writes that a Feb. 16 note may be Thompson's final written words. It reads:

"No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun _ for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax _ This won't hurt."

Hunter left the note for his wife, Anita. He shot himself four days later at his home in Aspen, Colo., after weeks of pain from a host of physical problems that included a broken leg and a hip replacement.

Written in black marker, the note was titled, "Football Season Is Over."

Brinkley writes in the magazine, on newsstands Friday, "February was always the cruelest month for Hunter S. Thompson. An avid NFL fan, Hunter traditionally embraced the Super Bowl in January as the high- water mark of his year. February, by contrast, was doldrums time."

Most of Thompson's early writings appeared in Rolling Stone. In pieces of great length, he often portrayed himself as a wildly intoxicated observer and participant. The writer's ashes were blown into the sky in Woody Creek, Colo., amid fireworks on Aug. 20.

 

Tall the suicidal ladies here, would you have wild orgy sex with guys since you are going to die anyway? And if so, why not do it anyway since you like it.

 

lol I couldn't, my gf would kill me, then i wouldn't need to kill myself!

 

if I were to I'd drown myself.Or leap form a high place.Or a combo of the two. But I never will(i hope)

 

l;inbertine im sorry i said i ddint like you... i had no reason whatsover to do so and now respect your ideas and thoughts. i think they are well formed and bautiful, you have a hgreat insight into your freedom.. which i value.

please forgive me. im just a childddd, speaking reckless things that are mean for no reason.

On your topic, i think death would be good peaceful and in a yoga pose.

 

For some reason, ever since I was old enough to know what suicide is, I've always accepted that it will be my ultimate mode of death. I guess that's why I'm a control freak.

 

I look forward to being dead.

 

i would rather go out in a gangbang instead of a whimper

 

i slashed my wrists once, but its bollocks, u cant kill yaself like that, i expected a plume of blood shooting across the room like in a film, but your bloods too thick, you need to be in a hot bath to do it really cus it thins ya blood. and i heard its better to cut the attery at the top of your leg rather then your wrists. i wernt actually tryin to kill myself at the time though.
id do it with carbon monoxide if i wanted to top meself.
i sorta go along with the train of thought matey was sayin though about having to come back n do it all again though, thats summin that would put me off. well that, but more so is that it would distroy my mum n grandparents, if it wernt for them i could easily do it i think.
i think id do alot more stuff with my life if i had a suicide pill, can u make suicide pills??
only thing i can think of that would make me kill myself would be yrs n yrs in prison. as for just random life shit i think i could just soldier on thru it no matter how shit it was. i mean, what can really go so wrong apart from losing someone else to death that you dont wanna live without, apart from that you can just pack up and start again somewhere else what ever the problems.

 

Its so stange to hear of somebody commiting suicide at 67.But think about this.....

No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67,"


"That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun - for anybody. 67. "You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax - This won't Hurt."

-Hunter.S.Thompson